Girlfriend Moving Too Fast..

[Anonymous]

My girlfriend of six months says she wants to get married. I’m not there yet. We are both in our early 30’s. I love her and she’s perfect for me. I don’t want to lose her, but I’m not ready to make that commitment.

[Anonymous]

Then break up with her.

Stop wasting her time.

[Anonymous]

If you’re not ready to commit after six months, stop wasting her time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you’re not ready to commit after six months, stop wasting her time.

Exactly! At this age, what do you need to know? I met my dh at 31. We’d both had at least one other serious relationship. I told him right off ( after he told me his last relationship was 5 years) that I’d know and he should know if this was something special by 1-yr.

I knew myself and my and life goals, had a great job, finished grad school, had traveled, had a nice home. I wanted someone to share my life with and start a family. You discuss your hopes, fears, dreams; meet families and friends; talk about what kind of life you want. If love and passion is there and the others align, at 30 you know yourself and what you want. At 6 months we both knew where we were headed at some level ( younjust do.) He proposed at almost exactly one year.

[Anonymous]

What did she say after you told her all of this? If she is ok with waiting, great. If she is not, then move on

[Anonymous]

She's not perfect for you. You don't want to marry her. Move on.

[Anonymous]

Women are pushy. Sorry, I’d move on if she was rushing me.

[Anonymous]

Eh, you're barely out of new relationship excitement. No reason to rush.

What you wanna do is string her along. "Yeah, great idea, let's get married.... But not right now, because [plausible excuse]."

You can keep that going for months, even years, by coming up with a series of reasons the time isn't quite right.

[Anonymous]

Do you want to have kids with her? Best to get on with it then.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you’re not ready to commit after six months, stop wasting her time.

Exactly! At this age, what do you need to know? I met my dh at 31. We’d both had at least one other serious relationship. I told him right off ( after he told me his last relationship was 5 years) that I’d know and he should know if this was something special by 1-yr.

I knew myself and my and life goals, had a great job, finished grad school, had traveled, had a nice home. I wanted someone to share my life with and start a family. You discuss your hopes, fears, dreams; meet families and friends; talk about what kind of life you want. If love and passion is there and the others align, at 30 you know yourself and what you want. At 6 months we both knew where we were headed at some level ( younjust do.) He proposed at almost exactly one year.

If you and your now DH said you would know within a year and only knew at 6 months "at some level," why are you giving OP a hard time about being absolutely sure at 6 months?

[Anonymous]

Her clock is ticking yours isn't

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Her clock is ticking yours isn't

Exactly. So if you care about her even a little bit, do the right thing and end it now. Anything else is selfish. Stop wasting her time.

[Anonymous]

Tell her you need more time, but promise to commit or end it by June. In the meat start talking seriously about your visions of marriage and family.

If she can't wait a bit more, she's not for you. If you cant commit by Summer, you're not for her.

[Anonymous]

Then don't! If she wants to move on it's her choice. But six months isn't an absurdly short period of time. You say you love her and she's perfect so what more do you need to decide? What will more time get you? What don't you know about her?

[Anonymous]

When you know, you know. You sound like you're "in like" not head over heels in love. She's not the one, cut her loose for her own sake.