Girlfriend lied about encounter with male colleague

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You clearly don't trust her. Not a good basis for a relationship.

Her untrustworthiness is what makes the basis for the relationship unsound, not him noticing that she is untrustworthy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You clearly don't trust her. Not a good basis for a relationship.

Her untrustworthiness is what makes the basis for the relationship unsound, not him noticing that she is untrustworthy.

Not quite. The weirdest part is him snooping her phone account and looking for evidence. Looks like she's extremely careful and worried that he can get jealous and insecure and that's why she lied. She lied because she cares.

It doesn't matter what OP decides to do. This will happen over and over again, with this woman or any other woman. He's insecure.

[Anonymous]

DTMFA

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You clearly don't trust her. Not a good basis for a relationship.

Her untrustworthiness is what makes the basis for the relationship unsound, not him noticing that she is untrustworthy.

Not quite. The weirdest part is him snooping her phone account and looking for evidence. Looks like she's extremely careful and worried that he can get jealous and insecure and that's why she lied. She lied because she cares.

It doesn't matter what OP decides to do. This will happen over and over again, with this woman or any other woman. He's insecure.

Bullshit. He did not snoop because he is "insecure" but because she did something to set off his alarm bells. She is "careful" because she is untrustworthy, and she lied because she is untrustworthy. Noticing this does not make him jealous and insecure.

[Anonymous]

She lied and she deleted the texts, the one thing that could back up her innocence if she was telling the truth. When I was lied to by a GF I went speaking the truth elsewhere and have no trouble with being called a snoop. Better a snoop than a chump who continues to get played.

[Anonymous]

Bullshit. He did not snoop because he is "insecure" but because she did something to set off his alarm bells.

What did she do exactly?
There is no mentioning of her being shady before the incident and OP stated "no shady activity since'. So he started snooping - why exactly?

Actually - how is snooping behind your gf back better than lying?
How often do you snoop, OP? Let's hear it.

[Anonymous]

Do her a favor and split with her.

[Anonymous]

Dump her
She’ll be grateful to be rid of your hypersensitivity/paranoia and you’ll be less stressed by not having to get all worked up in CSI detective mode every time you travel or over every little thing

[Anonymous]

Just a girlfriend? Ghost her and switch cell phone plans.

[Anonymous]

This is definitely split along gender lines l

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You clearly don't trust her. Not a good basis for a relationship.

Her untrustworthiness is what makes the basis for the relationship unsound, not him noticing that she is untrustworthy.

Not quite. The weirdest part is him snooping her phone account and looking for evidence. Looks like she's extremely careful and worried that he can get jealous and insecure and that's why she lied. She lied because she cares.

It doesn't matter what OP decides to do. This will happen over and over again, with this woman or any other woman. He's insecure.

You realize when he looked for evidence, he found it right? He’s insecure because he looked, but when he looked he found something, that’s not being insecure, that’s being right.

[Anonymous]

but when he looked he found something, that’s not being insecure, that’s being right

Constant snooping and all he really found is that she was home later than she said. What kind of evidence is that?! Why is it so hard to believe that she just panicked knowing him and his insecurities.
This is going to be one of those cases of self fulfilling prophesy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You clearly don't trust her. Not a good basis for a relationship.

Her untrustworthiness is what makes the basis for the relationship unsound, not him noticing that she is untrustworthy.

Not quite. The weirdest part is him snooping her phone account and looking for evidence. Looks like she's extremely careful and worried that he can get jealous and insecure and that's why she lied. She lied because she cares.

It doesn't matter what OP decides to do. This will happen over and over again, with this woman or any other woman. He's insecure.

Plus, even though it was a couple of months ago and he has seen no sign of "shady" activity he is still brooding about it, I get the feeling he starts getting hot under the collar just thinking about it. This sounds more like bf being controlling and scary. Have to assume he has been thinking about "dumping" her repeatedly ever since this happened. Not good at all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She's just a girlfriend. Of course dump her. Do not even give it a second thought

+1

Look, if she is making up a lie and deleting texts from a fairly normal question of “how was the work event”, at best she takes the easy way out of a situation (either non-confrontational/people pleaser/doesn’t set boundaries) and will lie rather than communicate honestly. Having been a former people pleaser (at work and with relationships) I’ve had to learn to speak up for myself in all situations because what I was doing before wasn’t working. At worst, if she is fully capable of being up front but in this situation choose to lie, then she was doing so because she had something to hide.

This 100% this.

It’s a chicken/egg thing. Did she lie because she knew her innocent interaction was going to set off her paranoid boyfriend. Or did she lie because she has something to hid. We’ll never know. Either way you guys are a bad fit. Time to break up.

[Anonymous]

OP come back and give us an update

I’d dump her ass you can’t trust her anymore

I wouldn’t.