giving up nanny
![[Post New]](/jforum/templates/default/images/icon_minipost_new.gif){kind=icon}
Anonymous
Being not snarky and totally honest, I thought that element of the program is more on the au pair in their off time. You basically provide the info, time and opportunity to do them. I didn't think you were expected to plan actual experiences and activities for them except for maybe occasional one off things that come up. Am I way off? |
Anonymous
| 35k is very low for a nanny |
Anonymous
| We keep thinking we'll get rid of our nanny since the kids are now in school but we keep sucking up the cost every year. Can you talk to your nanny about helping with other stuff once the younger one is in school more? Ours wanted to stay with us and take on some other roles (grocery shopping, food prep, etc.) while the kids were in school in order to stay with us so it's worked out well. Yes, it's definitely still the most expensive route, but having someone there if a kid is sick or school is closed is so nice, so we just keep sacrificing in other areas. Ours are in private as well, so I truly get the struggle. |
Anonymous
| For those who say that by having a nanny you can save money on camp, what do your kids do all summer? I think my kids would get bored at home with a nanny. |
Anonymous
|
[quote=Anonymous]OP here - yes we could juggle the pick up and drop off. The downside would be summer care cost and then sick days/ days off etc. What do you do for summer care typically with 3 kids? Just curious what everyone does ?
TIA[/quote] Summer nanny |
Anonymous
Well, I am the nanny as I SAH. We do camp mommy. Go on trips to the beach, museums, parks, all of the fun stuff we can't do when they are in school. |
Anonymous
|
[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here - yes we could juggle the pick up and drop off. The downside would be summer care cost and then sick days/ days off etc. What do you do for summer care typically with 3 kids? Just curious what everyone does ?
TIA[/quote] You send the kids to camp. Even with three of them, it will still be cheaper than $35k. [/quote] I don't see how aftercare for 2, full time daycare for 1, plus spring break, winter break, and summer camp with aftercare for two would come out to less than $35K, unless you seriously cut corners on aftercare/daycare/camp providers. In my experience, as both a teacher and a parent, the difference in quality and safety between cheap daycares and camp vs. pricey os so much bigger than the difference between public and private school, that I can't see being someone who would choose private school and then choose cheap daycare. |
Anonymous
| Can you send your 3 year old to preschool five mornings a week until 12 or 1? Then cut your nanny to part time or hire a new part time nanny for afternoons only. Then you still have half day coverage on sick days for the other kids too. |
Anonymous
You can also do half day camps more easily with a nanny, which gives the kids a nice mix of structured activity in the morning with downtime/pool time in the afternoon. |
Anonymous
| Op where do you live? Your nanny and school prices seem really low. |
Anonymous
Even the most expensive camps at $500/week for 12 weeks if the OP doesn't go on vacation at all would be $18k for 3 kids, still much cheaper than the cost of the nanny. OP could also get a summer nanny/babysitter or a mix of both camp and babysitter plus vacation. Many aftercare programs are open on snow days so it would just be the sick days. |
Anonymous
But does $500 a week get you after-care as well? We do 3 kids in summer camp all summer and spend about $13K, but that's before after-care (we have a part-time nanny all year long). The after-care at camps we've used is really expensive. It's REALLY hard to find a good part-time nanny (or any good nanny). OP, to answer your question, it depends a lot on what your older kids' day looks like. Does your private school have after-care -- does it last late enough for you to make the pickup time from work? Do kids at your school do a lot of play dates? Do they do things like soccer teams at the school, or is that something you'd need transportation for? (This seems to vary a lot by private school culture). With three kids, even if they just do one rec sport, that means you have a practice or game almost every day of the week. If they do two rec sports, or one of the more competitive rec leagues, you'll have more. We had always planned to stop having a nanny when our youngest went to school. But 8 years later, we still have one and I don't know how we'd do it without her. |
Anonymous
|
Here's my take on it after 13 years of parenting and observing the families around me in Bethesda: 1. It's very stressful to scramble if you have no back-up childcare on days when schools close without warning. It's fatiguing for the children to have to constantly schlep over to places for planned days off and vacations, when they might just want to relax at home for a bit. 2. Meaningful after-school activities (as opposed to activities to park children before they need to be picked up) are never on school grounds so transportation is a must. The best instrumental teachers, orchestras and choirs, for example, are always in their own spaces and studios. Same for gym, ballet, same for horseback riding, etc. For children's development and future college applications, good extra-curriculars make a difference, and some of them start early in elementary school. 3. Unless you live in an area where schools are dangerous or your children have very specific needs, private school will not have nearly as much benefits over public school as you might think, particularly in STEM, where public schools receive a lot of funding for labs. Regarding college positioning, a child can stand out just as well if not better among a public cohort than a private cohort. If your children are weak in an academic area, it's cheaper to pay for a top-notch tutor for that subject than pay private school tuition. There will also be SAT prep, and college tuition to pay later. Conclusion: for families with multiple kids who cannot afford it all, I believe a nanny/au pair works better than private school, as long as she can drive, has a good rapport with the children, and has enough education to answer basic questions and help with elementary homework. My friends have graduated from full-time kiddie nannies to part-time college helpers hired to drive their tweens and teens to and from extra-curriculars in the afternoon, and perhaps help with dinner prep and homework. Good luck. It's hard. |
Anonymous
|
[quote=Anonymous]OP here - yes we could juggle the pick up and drop off. The downside would be summer care cost and then sick days/ days off etc. What do you do for summer care typically with 3 kids? Just curious what everyone does ?
TIA[/quote] We got a summer au pair. |
Anonymous
But that doesn't include either aftercare or daycare. For preschool and aftercare I looked for the prices for a Catholic students at my local Catholic school, because in my experience they are some of the cheapest quality programs. For the summer, I picked the Y for similar reasons. Here's what I came up with. Full Day PreK tuition -- $10,000 Aftercare -- $70/week * 3 kid * 50 weeks -- 10,500 (This assumes that you're going to be able to flex the schedule and won't need before care as well) Camp (basic level at the Y) $210*3 kids * 10 week -- $6,300 So, that's a savings of $8,200, which seems like a reasonable amount to sacrifice for. But if your kids are at a higher cost school, after care will cost more too. St. Patrick's in DC is about $90 a week, so that's another $3,000 Moving your 2 older kids from basic camp to something like tennis camp or swimming camp at the Y would be another $75 a week, $1,500 Choosing a different daycare for the youngest will push the cost up. The nearest childcare to me is $440 a week, or $22,800, which even with the lowest Catholic/Y rates eats up almost all of the savings. And that's before snow day care, or problem solving what to do if you have an early meeting, or someone getting sick. |