Tell Me About Your Post-50 Post-Divorce Experience

[Anonymous]

So what do men consider a "high-quality" woman???

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Initially it was awful as I was clueless about dating...period....and really clueless about on line dating. If you are not very selective and questioning you can meet a lot of men who in no way live up to their profiles. I'm sure this works the other way as well with women using 15 year old photos etc. I thought my libido was pretty dead after many years of a loveless marriage but then I met a very nice man and it suddenly revived. When the "moment" arrived my anxiety disappeared and I really cut loose. He and I are still dating but we both like our independence and I don't see it as a long term relationship but I'm hopeful that someday I will be in one.

At this age, women suffer from quality, men from quantity. You have to go through a lot of guys to find a decent one but a decent man can meet five women and 3-4 are normal.

Guy: 3-4 normal out of 5 ? More like 1-2 out if 5 !

Agreed. They ain’t normal.

I'm confused. Are you (either one of you) saying that the men are not normal, or the women are not? What do you mean by "not normal"?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So what do men consider a "high-quality" woman???

Well educated, reasonably good shape, does not hate men, funny.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Late 60s M here. Most on line dating turned out Ok. Two real crazies, one superb woman and the rest were nice ladies who were just not for me. One of the crazies was younger by 20 years or so while the rest were in my age range. The superb lady, after some passionate kisses (really could have fallen for her), let me know after discovering that I was conservative that she couldn’t continue seeing me. While disappointing it was probably best not to give your heart to someone incompatible (although she was just simply lovely). Several decades ago I would have tried to convince her to reconsider, now-a-days...No.

Now I’m trying mixers for folks in my age range. One this week. Will allow for face to face contact. I’ll see how that turns out and post it here if folks are interested.

Ok I attended the OLD mixer. Age range 50 on up. Split about 50/50 M/F. Being the DC area there were a lot of women who had done things in their life, careers, world travels etc. Several were attractive and interesting. Several were not (at least not to me, others might think differently). The most unusual and interesting woman there was not attractive, foreign, poor English but as we got talking she whipped out her phone and I saw some of her videos — an artist both visual and musical (listened to her play and it was magical), an engineer (wearing her hard hat walking thru a building in her home country giving directions to tradesmen). Just not licensed here. For me there was no connection but I can see someone being interested. After the mixer it was over and you needed to take the initiative if you wanted to see someone in the future. That part caught me by surprise. I just hadn’t thought about it. Put them on the spot and ask for their number? I think if I go again I’ll just take some cards with my name and number and maybe pass some to those I’m interested in.

One side note, one of the most interesting, attractive and possibly the most fun under the covers was someone whose ex was a senior executive who I worked for many years ago. I didn’t pursue it. If memory serves I think she is/was extremely high maintenance. Anyway 2019 is almost here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Late 60s M here. Most on line dating turned out Ok. Two real crazies, one superb woman and the rest were nice ladies who were just not for me. One of the crazies was younger by 20 years or so while the rest were in my age range. The superb lady, after some passionate kisses (really could have fallen for her), let me know after discovering that I was conservative that she couldn’t continue seeing me. While disappointing it was probably best not to give your heart to someone incompatible (although she was just simply lovely). Several decades ago I would have tried to convince her to reconsider, now-a-days...No.

Now I’m trying mixers for folks in my age range. One this week. Will allow for face to face contact. I’ll see how that turns out and post it here if folks are interested.

Ok I attended the OLD mixer. Age range 50 on up. Split about 50/50 M/F. Being the DC area there were a lot of women who had done things in their life, careers, world travels etc. Several were attractive and interesting. Several were not (at least not to me, others might think differently). The most unusual and interesting woman there was not attractive, foreign, poor English but as we got talking she whipped out her phone and I saw some of her videos — an artist both visual and musical (listened to her play and it was magical), an engineer (wearing her hard hat walking thru a building in her home country giving directions to tradesmen). Just not licensed here. For me there was no connection but I can see someone being interested. After the mixer it was over and you needed to take the initiative if you wanted to see someone in the future. That part caught me by surprise. I just hadn’t thought about it. Put them on the spot and ask for their number? I think if I go again I’ll just take some cards with my name and number and maybe pass some to those I’m interested in.

One side note, one of the most interesting, attractive and possibly the most fun under the covers was someone whose ex was a senior executive who I worked for many years ago. I didn’t pursue it. If memory serves I think she is/was extremely high maintenance. Anyway 2019 is almost here.

[Anonymous]

After the mixer it was over and you needed to take the initiative if you wanted to see someone in the future. That part caught me by surprise. I just hadn’t thought about it. Put them on the spot and ask for their number?

I am surprised that you were surprised. How could you even go to an event like that without the expectation that you would have to ask for numbers? That is the whole point of attending such a meetup.

And if you are the PP in his 60s, do you really suffer from approach anxiety at this point? You're not in middle school any more, dude.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:At this age, women suffer from quality, men from quantity. You have to go through a lot of guys to find a decent one but a decent man can meet five women and 3-4 are normal.

Disagree. I'm a divorced guy in my 50s, and the quality of single women in their 50s is low, especially if you're doing online dating. I think a lot of guys in their 50s give up on OLD and go for in-person approaches. In person it is a lot easier to get a date with a woman 10 or 20 years younger than you than it is online. She can see that you are not a broken-down old wreck, and you can see that she's not lying about her age, weight, or appearance either.

(I now cover my ears and await the screams of rage that the idea of 50-something men dating 30- and 40-something women always provokes on DCUM.)

If you are so successful in dating much younger women, why hang out on the over-fifty DCUM forum?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Initially it was awful as I was clueless about dating...period....and really clueless about on line dating. If you are not very selective and questioning you can meet a lot of men who in no way live up to their profiles. I'm sure this works the other way as well with women using 15 year old photos etc. I thought my libido was pretty dead after many years of a loveless marriage but then I met a very nice man and it suddenly revived. When the "moment" arrived my anxiety disappeared and I really cut loose. He and I are still dating but we both like our independence and I don't see it as a long term relationship but I'm hopeful that someday I will be in one.

I am a recent divorcee, 53 and I'm hoping to find love. I know there is someone out there for me, I just have to find him. Not ready yet, but I know I will.

Do you have children at home?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So what do men consider a "high-quality" woman???

Well educated, reasonably good shape, does not hate men, funny.

You might consider looking at the gym, the local pool , a biking club or via playing a sport then.
I’m not single but I know quality single women who play basketball and soccer and who swim at the indoor pool I go to.
Are you in reasonably good shape? Because if you were also attending these activities you would have hooked a great gal by now so I wonder.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So what do men consider a "high-quality" woman???

Well educated, reasonably good shape, does not hate men, funny.

Me, me me - that is me...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:At this age, women suffer from quality, men from quantity. You have to go through a lot of guys to find a decent one but a decent man can meet five women and 3-4 are normal.

Disagree. I'm a divorced guy in my 50s, and the quality of single women in their 50s is low, especially if you're doing online dating. I think a lot of guys in their 50s give up on OLD and go for in-person approaches. In person it is a lot easier to get a date with a woman 10 or 20 years younger than you than it is online. She can see that you are not a broken-down old wreck, and you can see that she's not lying about her age, weight, or appearance either.

(I now cover my ears and await the screams of rage that the idea of 50-something men dating 30- and 40-something women always provokes on DCUM.)

If you are so successful in dating much younger women, why hang out on the over-fifty DCUM forum?

So that my over-50 brothers don't give up and resign themselves to dating over-50 women (and especially not just because that's what DCUM women think you should do).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So what do men consider a "high-quality" woman???

Well educated, reasonably good shape, does not hate men, funny.

Me, me me - that is me...

Wow, so the women you guys run into tend to be out of shape and misandrists?

[Anonymous]

OP, i have a good friend who just got divorced at age 55. She is doing online dating and is VERY happy, and has met a great guy she likes a lot. Granted, she is gorgeous. But it can happen!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So what do men consider a "high-quality" woman???

Well educated, reasonably good shape, does not hate men, funny.

Me, me me - that is me...

Wow, so the women you guys run into tend to be out of shape and misandrists?

Certainly a good percentage of people over 50 are fat. I decline to consider any woman who is making bad choices, including ones related to diet and exercise.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Initially it was awful as I was clueless about dating...period....and really clueless about on line dating. If you are not very selective and questioning you can meet a lot of men who in no way live up to their profiles. I'm sure this works the other way as well with women using 15 year old photos etc. I thought my libido was pretty dead after many years of a loveless marriage but then I met a very nice man and it suddenly revived. When the "moment" arrived my anxiety disappeared and I really cut loose. He and I are still dating but we both like our independence and I don't see it as a long term relationship but I'm hopeful that someday I will be in one.

At this age, women suffer from quality, men from quantity. You have to go through a lot of guys to find a decent one but a decent man can meet five women and 3-4 are normal.

Guy: 3-4 normal out of 5 ? More like 1-2 out if 5 !

Agreed. They ain’t normal.

I'm confused. Are you (either one of you) saying that the men are not normal, or the women are not? What do you mean by "not normal"?

In my experience there are about the same number of ‘normal’ women. But then maybe OLD is representative of the total population or single people over 40.