Tips for first meeting

[Anonymous]

Since you think the new GF will be around for a long time, what’s the hurry in introducing them? No harm in waiting awhile.

[Anonymous]

You are not seeing clearly but you really have to blindly trust the advice in this thread.

Do not introduce them, that is crazy.

You are an adult parent not a teenager so no excuses for being so reckless.

There are so many red flags about all of this and you need a therapist. I hope your dd has a teacher or therapist or ain't or at least someone in her life who genuinely cares about her because you have blinders on and are about to through her life into a whole new tailspin before she's even had a chance to have the last one sink in. Why did you even have kids.

Stop living in your fantasy. Your child needs you to be an adult here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Since you think the new GF will be around for a long time, what’s the hurry in introducing them? No harm in waiting awhile.

He wants to prove what a good father he is, to impress the new GF.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Don't. You are telling yourself it's for her but it's not. It's for your love story with the new gf. You aren't bad. You are blinded by hormones. Just don't. And since you will probably ignore everyone, just don't do it in any way related to Christmas. Don't allow that association. Choose a non-descript day in February.

+1000

You want...need the narrative that your DD just loves your new GF and new GF is so good for DD since SlutMom is too busy cheating. This story will make you feel better about exposing your DD to your rebound.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Since you think the new GF will be around for a long time, what’s the hurry in introducing them? No harm in waiting awhile.

Kids are like puppies for divorcing dads: a good way to attract women. Usually these chicks don’t have kids of their own. Those who do usually realize how absolutely insane it is to meet a child at this stage under these circumstances.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Since you think the new GF will be around for a long time, what’s the hurry in introducing them? No harm in waiting awhile.

Kids are like puppies for divorcing dads: a good way to attract women. Usually these chicks don’t have kids of their own. Those who do usually realize how absolutely insane it is to meet a child at this stage under these circumstances.

Is the new girlfriend younger? Does she have no kids and no parenting experience? Is she happy to help you out with childcare and cooking? And does she believe that everything, everything, everything is the fault of your crazy, cheating ex? This is such a sad cliche.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Finalize your divorce first.

And wait a year

[Anonymous]

Whoa, no way. Don’t do this!

[Anonymous]

Is this long distance, like you will be taking a trip to see her, or local? If the former, I do think it's too early. If the latter, I think 4 months-ish and less than a year after the split is early, but I don't think it's outrageous. I would do something like meet up for ice cream, or have your GF meet the two of you for a short activity that your daughter likes.

[Anonymous]

How will they be meeting?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My wife cheated on me so I don't appreciate these comments.
When we do meet, there will certainly be no PDAS. I just want them to meet and get to know each other as she will be a big part of my daughters life soon.

Can I ask why I am wrong to be sending my girlfriend photos of my daughter? Genuine question, I don't understand why this is wrong. The idea is for her to get to know my DD from a distance.

You don’t know this woman. She could be selling your daughters picture on the web.
Even if everything you say is true... ugh nevermind. Your going to do this anyway. Man, I wish I was a child psychologist I’d make a good living off of you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Since you think the new GF will be around for a long time, what’s the hurry in introducing them? No harm in waiting awhile.

Kids are like puppies for divorcing dads: a good way to attract women. Usually these chicks don’t have kids of their own. Those who do usually realize how absolutely insane it is to meet a child at this stage under these circumstances.

Hey I didn’t have kids and I thought it was insane and declined to meet kids until after divorce. Surprise, divorce never happened. .

[Anonymous]

Men are clueless and think with the wrong “head.”

[Anonymous]

My ex and I are both remarried (I say this so you don't think I'm anti new relationships post-divorce with kids). He introduced his now-wife to our kids within 4 months of us separating. My kids were still reeling from our new family situation and they had no understanding about why it all happened (it was also because of infidelity but they were too young to be clued in on that). They were still just trying to sort out how they felt about their new normal, and now there was this whole other person in their life. They saw right through the whole "meet my new friend" thing, they knew who she was to him. It threw them for a huge loop and really made a hard a situation harder.

If you really think this relationship is the real thing, wait. Look at it as an investment in the long term. Give your kids the time they need to get totally settled in to their new situation, give yourself time to do the same thing, and give your gf time to really get used to the idea of joining a family already in progress. If it's the right fit, it will be worth the wait.

[Anonymous]

I take all the points on board although some seem a little hsrsh.
My girlfriend is lovely and much different than my ex. She has been through a terrible time herself with her first husband abusing her and her second dying of motor neurone disease 2 years ago.

My friend spoke to me yesterday and said she was concerned as she doesn't want me to get hurt again and that she feels I will be 'Hit with memories from the past' in time even if I am feeling great now. As I explained to her, the more I see of my ex, the more I despise her and the more I see how wrong our marriage was even if it was a long one.