How many days constitutes ghosting?

[Anonymous]

Four days really doesn’t seem like a big deal. You’re not married and have only been dating for a couple of months. As others have noted, why don’t *you* send a friendly follow up?

[Anonymous]

If this is unusual why aren’t you checking to see if he’s ok? The fact that you have to ask indicates that you don’t often contact him. Show some interest!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If this is unusual why aren’t you checking to see if he’s ok? The fact that you have to ask indicates that you don’t often contact him. Show some interest!

+1

Yeah. I'm not sure why the onus has to entirely be on the man. You could be brave too and risk initiating a conversation. It's not easy for men either, but no one gives them a pass when it comes to this stuff. Maybe he is not interested, but I think it's unreasonably passive to not try a follow-up text.

[Anonymous]

Probably was dating multiples (if it wasn't that serious) and things have gotten good with the other girl.

[Anonymous]

Seems odd to be worried about ghosting when you haven't even tried to contact him. When was the last contact? How did you leave it? Just call or text.

[Anonymous]

After two months of dating you should feel free to text or call him without waiting for him. The fact you are still playing the "I have to wait for him to text first" game makes me wonder about the health of the relationship. Just act like everything is fine and text or call him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Probably was dating multiples (if it wasn't that serious) and things have gotten good with the other girl.

This is definitely a possibility.

This is what most men do now until they are officially exclusive. Online dating has created an environment where a man has to contact dozens of women to get any response. So they compensate by casting a wide net. It's not very romantic, but the early stages of dating for men now closely resembles applying to jobs and sending out your resume to a large number of potential employers with the understanding that 95% of them won't respond.

[Anonymous]

Honestly, he could be interpreting your lack of initiation as lack of interest. Why do people play games like this?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Honestly, he could be interpreting your lack of initiation as lack of interest. Why do people play games like this?

Because there is so much uncertainty in dating... Damned if you do, damned if you don't. Works the same for men and women. Some men like to do the asking. Other men like when a woman asks them out. It's finding the right combination of two people that is so elusive. I agree with you, he could be thinking she's not interested. She could be thinking, why hasn't he replied to me? I say, do what you want and if it was meant to be, it will be. Nobody lost a relationship by texting one time too many.

[Anonymous]

I don't get this at all. You are dating someone that you haven't heard from in 4 days, and you haven't even tried texting. I would break up with you too.

[Anonymous]

OP — any update?

[Anonymous]

Think the OP ghosted us.

[Anonymous]

I’m also in OPs shoes, except I did send a text, and got a response, but then it’s been radio silence since. So I’m assuming we are officially unofficially done.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m also in OPs shoes, except I did send a text, and got a response, but then it’s been radio silence since. So I’m assuming we are officially unofficially done.

I've had this happen to me recently, too.

It's like a slightly more polite version of the "ghost." Basically, the other person will respond if you text them, but usually after a delay and only in a politely noncommittal way. And they never initiate conversation with you. It's possible that I misread things, but I stopped initiating after a while, which I assume is what they want.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m also in OPs shoes, except I did send a text, and got a response, but then it’s been radio silence since. So I’m assuming we are officially unofficially done.

I've had this happen to me recently, too.

It's like a slightly more polite version of the "ghost." Basically, the other person will respond if you text them, but usually after a delay and only in a politely noncommittal way. And they never initiate conversation with you. It's possible that I misread things, but I stopped initiating after a while, which I assume is what they want.

Been there ...it’s the worst!