Tell? Weird dating sort of cheating situation

[Anonymous]

What happened was we said "Oh, we met John's new girlfriend Imogene and her kids. They've been dating 4 months, seems like they've gotten pretty serious pretty fast. I saw you're friends with her on Facebook, we should all go out together sometime!" and then it all came out...

We are always trying to get BIL to go out with us when we are back home, so we legitimately were happy we thought there was a mutual friend there. Other guy is fairly social and knows everyone, friends with tons of people, so it wouldn't be weird at all for him to know her in this smallish town.

I understand what those are saying about him being dramatic about telling BIL. I'd say he has a strong sense of righteousness, more than a desire for drama. He is definitely not jealous or lashing out, we've known this guy for 8+ years. No problems getting women and just not his style. I agree it could have waited a day... But as I said, we decided to step out of it and let him talk directly to BIL. They both live in the same small hometown, know tons of people, etc. - - so not weird for him to reach out to BIL.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I disagree with you that other guy is no drama. His whining to you is nothing but drama. She didn’t pick him and he needs to move on.

You are making huge assumptions here. You do not know that the guy was whining or looking to cause trouble. For all you know, he was having dinner with OP and her husband, and they said "oh, you said you were seeing someone over the summer, how's that going?" He tells them a bit about the relationship, and that it's ended, and her name gets mentioned. OP and hubby recognize the name and go "oh sh*t, she was dating BIL at the same time."

I’m going by everything op has shared. This guy is both but drama. Even in the little scenario you dreamed up all he need say is it didn’t work out. They went on a handful of dates over the course of 3 months. It’s not like they were engaged or even just dating for a year. This guy is just butthurt he wasn’t the chosen one and wants to get back at the woman.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What happened was we said "Oh, we met John's new girlfriend Imogene and her kids. They've been dating 4 months, seems like they've gotten pretty serious pretty fast. I saw you're friends with her on Facebook, we should all go out together sometime!" and then it all came out...

We are always trying to get BIL to go out with us when we are back home, so we legitimately were happy we thought there was a mutual friend there. Other guy is fairly social and knows everyone, friends with tons of people, so it wouldn't be weird at all for him to know her in this smallish town.

I understand what those are saying about him being dramatic about telling BIL. I'd say he has a strong sense of righteousness, more than a desire for drama. He is definitely not jealous or lashing out, we've known this guy for 8+ years. No problems getting women and just not his style. I agree it could have waited a day... But as I said, we decided to step out of it and let him talk directly to BIL. They both live in the same small hometown, know tons of people, etc. - - so not weird for him to reach out to BIL.

Don’t blame this on being a small town. It’s weird. Dramatic and immature.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I disagree with you that other guy is no drama. His whining to you is nothing but drama. She didn’t pick him and he needs to move on.

This. He calls the Brother on Thanksgiving Day and wants to stir up crap with boyfriend of an Ex....he is trying to sabotage the girlfriend’s relationship because she left him.

Yup. As for OP’s claim this guy gets plenty of women well that fits this woman rejected him and he’s not used to that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What happened was we said "Oh, we met John's new girlfriend Imogene and her kids. They've been dating 4 months, seems like they've gotten pretty serious pretty fast. I saw you're friends with her on Facebook, we should all go out together sometime!" and then it all came out...

We are always trying to get BIL to go out with us when we are back home, so we legitimately were happy we thought there was a mutual friend there. Other guy is fairly social and knows everyone, friends with tons of people, so it wouldn't be weird at all for him to know her in this smallish town.

I understand what those are saying about him being dramatic about telling BIL. I'd say he has a strong sense of righteousness, more than a desire for drama. He is definitely not jealous or lashing out, we've known this guy for 8+ years. No problems getting women and just not his style. I agree it could have waited a day... But as I said, we decided to step out of it and let him talk directly to BIL. They both live in the same small hometown, know tons of people, etc. - - so not weird for him to reach out to BIL.

Is this a small town in another country where women are considered property?

[Anonymous]

How old are you? You sound immature. MYOB.

[Anonymous]

Your friend is unhinged.

She didn't choose him. Period.

They were barely dating and clearly were not exclusive. That's okay.

He's become unhinged and wants revenge. There's literally no other reason for him to reach out to BIL except revenge. That's not cool. In fact, it's scary.

I would edit him out of my life if I were you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I disagree with you that other guy is no drama. His whining to you is nothing but drama. She didn’t pick him and he needs to move on.

This. He calls the Brother on Thanksgiving Day and wants to stir up crap with boyfriend of an Ex....he is trying to sabotage the girlfriend’s relationship because she left him.

Yeah and why didn't brother tell the guy to f off? Family comes first!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What happened was we said "Oh, we met John's new girlfriend Imogene and her kids. They've been dating 4 months, seems like they've gotten pretty serious pretty fast. I saw you're friends with her on Facebook, we should all go out together sometime!" and then it all came out...

We are always trying to get BIL to go out within us when we are back home, so we legitimately were happy we thought there was a mutual friend there. Other guy is fairly social and knows everyone, friends with tons of people, so it wouldn't be weird at all for him to know her in this smallish town.

I understand what those are saying about him being dramatic about telling BIL. I'd say he has a strong sense of righteousness, more than a desire for drama. He is definitely not jealous or lashing out, we've known this guy for 8+ years. No problems getting women and just not his style. I agree it could have waited a day... But as I said, we decided to step out of it and let him talk directly to BIL. They both live in the same small hometown, know tons of people, etc. - - so not weird for him to reach out to BIL.

Don’t blame this on being a small town. It’s weird. Dramatic and immature.

This. This tacky, classless fool is so amped he’s deliberately kicking a potential hornet’s nest on a holiday and OP is a little excited by it. Trash, except for the woman who is actually involved, and perhaps the BIL.

[Anonymous]

I see no scenario in which he isn't just lashing out at the woman. She moved on from him but continued to date the man she was serious about. They OBVIOUSLY were not exclusive or this wouldn't be happening. For Pete's sake, just move on with your "lives."

[Anonymous]

All of it is gross. Sleeping over with kids especially.

[Anonymous]

She sounds trashy and I hope this guy ruins her fun

Also we want an update OP

I need to know that Imogene was outed

[Anonymous]

Agree with the posters to stay out if it. It’s messy from all sides and each person that is actually involved gets to decide their own boundaries and actions
- friend was on board to not use condoms with a woman he was barely dating
- BIL had no problems introducing the kids, having sleepovers and getaways with a woman he is barely started dating and didn’t take the time to ask if they are exclusive
- clearly the girlfriend liked BIL better, we don’t have her side, but from the guy friend/ex it seems like she strung him along instead of being honest that she was dating other people/not ready to be exclusive and when she met someone else, she didn’t “break up” just ghosted

I’m convinced she has a golden vajayjay. Most women have a tough time getting a guy to commit, she has them left and right after a month. I agree that if BIL is all in, and she essentially broke up with a guy to be with him exclusively, even with an overlap, he isn’t going to care.

[Anonymous]

I’d stay out of it. Anyone who is introducing kids after a month and a half is train wreck territory and will crash and burn without any help from you. Sorry your bil is an idiot.

[Anonymous]

OP we need an update