What makes a guy a loser?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would not date someone who at 29 did not make doctors appointments and hair appointments on his own. Yikes. I also would not date someone who plays video games.

+1. The salary is fine. It's the fact that he doesn't seem very self-sufficient or have a spine. He would never stand up for his wife to his mom... And video games??

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He's 29, FFS. If those things were the definition of loser, 90% of guys would be losers.

And this one has a job! And is decently paid! And doesn't live in his parents' basement!

Not a loser, OP. Maybe immature, but not a loser.

Wow. Since when did the bar drop so low that women should now be impressed with men who are employed? This is so sad. Glad my own (much higher) standards reflect my self-worth.

The question is not if you should be impressed. The question is "what makes a guy a loser?"

Hope your much higher standards can appropriately focus on finding someone who treats you well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

A guy that thinks he's fly, always talk' about what he wants, but just sits on his broke ass

Hanging out the passenger side, of his best friend's ride tryin to holler at me

Doesn't have a car, so he's walking

He lives at home with his Mama

Has a shorty, but doesn't show love

Wanna get with me with no money

His game is kinda week, can't get with a dead beat ass

+1, but that's a scrub.

This is a loser.

In the time of chimpanzees he was a monkey

This is a nice comprehensive list.

[Anonymous]

Corrected -

In the time of chimpanzees he was a monkey

Got a parking violations with a maggot on his sleeve

Savin all the food stams and burnin down the trailer park

This is a nice comprehensive list.

[Anonymous]

Honestly, if we lived near my inlaws DH would probably see them once a week at minimum. They love the hell out of each other.

But once he went to college, his mom stopped telling him to go to the doctor/dentist. I just asked him and he said he arranged his own haircuts started in high school. She used to buy him clothes but once we got engaged, she stopped. He has a few hobbies, only sleeps past 9am when he's sick, and his friends are mostly married with kids.

I think the non-married ones or ones without kids may sleep later on weekends, and may play video games.

The poor diet would irritate me. I like men who take care of their bodies.

[Anonymous]

OP, I guess it all depends on what you expect and what you bring to the table. Are you attractive and fit? If so, then maybe you can shoot for a higher standard. Are you out of shape? If so, then maybe you need to keep him and consider him a winner.

Isn't this how DCUM thinks?

[Anonymous]

Sounds like good beta provider material. Keep him in mind when you decide to marry and reproduce.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He's 29, FFS. If those things were the definition of loser, 90% of guys would be losers.

And this one has a job! And is decently paid! And doesn't live in his parents' basement!

Not a loser, OP. Maybe immature, but not a loser.

Wow. Since when did the bar drop so low that women should now be impressed with men who are employed? This is so sad. Glad my own (much higher) standards reflect my self-worth.

The question is not if you should be impressed. The question is "what makes a guy a loser?"

Hope your much higher standards can appropriately focus on finding someone who treats you well.

Yes, generally "high" relationship standards are built on the very basic assumption that you're being "treated well"...

Personally, I find a guy is a loser if he:
- Can't carry a conversation/ doesn't follow current events
- Doesn't travel/ have a passport
- Has no books at his apartment
- Doesn't own his own tux by 30-35 yrs old
- Doesn't invest

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He's 29, FFS. If those things were the definition of loser, 90% of guys would be losers.

And this one has a job! And is decently paid! And doesn't live in his parents' basement!

Not a loser, OP. Maybe immature, but not a loser.

Wow. Since when did the bar drop so low that women should now be impressed with men who are employed? This is so sad. Glad my own (much higher) standards reflect my self-worth.

The question is not if you should be impressed. The question is "what makes a guy a loser?"

Hope your much higher standards can appropriately focus on finding someone who treats you well.

Yes, generally "high" relationship standards are built on the very basic assumption that you're being "treated well"...

Personally, I find a guy is a loser if he:
- Can't carry a conversation/ doesn't follow current events
- Doesn't travel/ have a passport
- Has no books at his apartment
- Doesn't own his own tux by 30-35 yrs old
- Doesn't invest

Doesn't own his own tux by 30-35 years old. Lolz. OK, lady. Hope you find a good one who doesn't mind the stick in your rectum.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How do you know a guy is a loser?

I’m dating a 29 year old who has a masters degree in a liberal arts field, has been consistently employed since he graduated and gets promoted every year even though he currently only makes 100k. He works a lot and seems capable in his profession.

The red flags that seem loserish to me:
- beholden to his mom. Must see family twice a week. It’s very hard for him to break engagements with them.
- his mom buys him clothes. He never shops for himself.
- she also texts him to remind him to get his hair cut and go to the dentist.
- his friends are so immature. Either underemployed or are just not ready to settle down at all. Approaching 30 and none of them are married.
- he doesn’t have any hobbies or passions outside his job. He plays video games and reads.
- eats poorly. Doesn’t excercise. Sleeps in till 1 pm on weekends.

Am I being too picky?

Guy here - guy is a loser. Good luck marrying someone like that - Mommy is going to be all up in your biz non stop and you're going to have to replace her role as mommy....to your husband. lol

[Anonymous]

Having no sex drive. Its the opposite of manly IMHO.

Sorry DH.

[Anonymous]

I don't think it's bad that he spends time with his mom, but it is a red flag that he needs reminders to groom himself.
if you marry him, you will be the one reminding him, and that will get old quick.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't think it's bad that he spends time with his mom, but it is a red flag that he needs reminders to groom himself.
if you marry him, you will be the one reminding him, and that will get old quick.

Yeah, it won't just be the grooming. It will be "pick up your clothes", "take out the trash", etc. I'm sure OP is super nice but marrying this guy will turn her into a complete nag.

LOL

[Anonymous]

His friends are unmarried at 30: is this a violation of The Rules or something? Who cares.

The mom thing is bad though.

[Anonymous]

IMO, a loser...

...is complacent about important aspects of his life like career, education, or finances
...when asked, doesn't have clear life goals
...doesn't know how to do everyday things for himself (like cooking, laundry)
...doesn't care about his health or appearance
...doesn't care about your satisfaction in bed

Worst of all, he blames others for his issues.