Piggybacking on previous topic--do you notice people's rings?

[Anonymous]

This is exactly what I despise - women blaming other women out of spite and jealousy. The man is the one who purchases the ring and at least in my case and many many of my friends and family, is the one who chooses the ring without knowledge or input from the soon to be fiancee. Yet all of you are blaming the fiancee/wife for having a big ring. Why? With PP's story, I can understand in that particular case if someone is demanding a ring of a certain size. I agree that's tacky, but to judge people you don't know based on their ring size? My brother just bought a diamond for his now fiancee a month ago and it's huge and stunning. My future SIL never knew about it or demanded anything and was stunned when she got it. It was the amount of money he wanted to spend and that is his business.

[Anonymous]

Other than occasionally noticing that a woman (or man) has a ring on at all, I almost never pay any attention to the size/shape/etc. of someone's ring. But I'm not into jewelry. My wedding ring is a plain cheap white gold band, which I bought myself (and DH bought his -- he was in law school and I was working for a non-profit when we got married, so the idea of anything more was out of the question). Maybe one day we'll upgrade them, but honestly I'd rather put the money toward remodeling our kitchen. Oh, and needless to say I never had an engagement ring and do not feel any lack. Like I said, not into jewelry.

[Anonymous]

Yes, i usually notcie if a woman is wearing a ring i like, but i don't really think about it beyond ' nice ring..' and usually forget about it within minutes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hmm...I'll be honest, not always but sometimes I definitely do. And when I do see a large ring I admit I usually wonder what it's overcompensating for in the relationship. I know, harsh and looking way into it. But I guess I just don't get needing a big ring. I quickly try to remind myself that jewelry to some people is a bigger deal than I think of it.

This.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hmm...I'll be honest, not always but sometimes I definitely do. And when I do see a large ring I admit I usually wonder what it's overcompensating for in the relationship. I know, harsh and looking way into it. But I guess I just don't get needing a big ring. I quickly try to remind myself that jewelry to some people is a bigger deal than I think of it.

You really wonder that? Mine is inherited - so would you be wondering about my relationship with my grandmother?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hmm...I'll be honest, not always but sometimes I definitely do. And when I do see a large ring I admit I usually wonder what it's overcompensating for in the relationship. I know, harsh and looking way into it. But I guess I just don't get needing a big ring. I quickly try to remind myself that jewelry to some people is a bigger deal than I think of it.

You really wonder that? Mine is inherited - so would you be wondering about my relationship with my grandmother?

The inherited 2.5 carat ring is not the norm.

[Anonymous]

I love jewelry (although I own little--no engagement ring), so I do notice, but generally only to think "nice ring" or "yuck. Sometimes if it's big, I will think, "wow, I didn't know they had so much money," but I don't draw any conclusions about priorities, values, relationships, ethics, politics, etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hmm...I'll be honest, not always but sometimes I definitely do. And when I do see a large ring I admit I usually wonder what it's overcompensating for in the relationship. I know, harsh and looking way into it. But I guess I just don't get needing a big ring. I quickly try to remind myself that jewelry to some people is a bigger deal than I think of it.

You really wonder that? Mine is inherited - so would you be wondering about my relationship with my grandmother?

The inherited 2.5 carat ring is not the norm.

Not sure about that. There are at least 2 people on this thread with large, inherited rings. But the point is how can you possibly make judgments about people based on their jewelry?

[Anonymous]

In my first marriage I had a 2.11 carat with a very good setting. It was definitely overcompensating for a bad relationship. Even though it was gorgeous, no one commented on it. It was so big and fancy, people didn't seem to want to make a fuss and embarrass me for having this expensive thing.

I am exceptionally happily remarried and my ring is a 0.55ct stone with great color in a really cool tension setting, plus a small wedding band with obout .75 carats worth of tiny tension-set stones. I get compliments on it all of the time. I think in part it's because people I haven't seen in forever are so thrilled that I'm married to a wonderful person. In part, the modest sized stone in the very simple but unusual setting really appeals to people with design sense, and it looks grown-up but still sort of romantic on me.

Personally, I like this ring so much more. And I think that people around me, whether they know me or not, are comfortable complimenting it because there is no way they're being shallow complimenting such a small diamond.

[Anonymous]

I don't know a single married woman who was "surprised" by her engagement ring. Oh sure, maybe he went out and bought it without her, and then pulled it out of his pocket at an unexpected moment. But the ladies all had at least some input. So yea, a woman with a tacky ring is, in my experience, fully complicit.

[Anonymous]

I do look- my ring is on the smaller side for my set and our income is on the larger side, but I've been married a very long time and our circumstances were different then. Larger rings make me assume they got married a bit older than we did.

[Anonymous]

No. Unless it's really big (like 3+) on a young person (like <40). Then I think either husband, wife or both are insecure or very, very rich (or both)! I see a lot of big rings on old ladies and that seems more appropriate.
But I don't see it much around here; much more so when I lived in NYC.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't know a single married woman who was "surprised" by her engagement ring. Oh sure, maybe he went out and bought it without her, and then pulled it out of his pocket at an unexpected moment. But the ladies all had at least some input. So yea, a woman with a tacky ring is, in my experience, fully complicit.

I was totally surprised. I had no idea my husband was even going to propose. We had only dated a couple months.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't know a single married woman who was "surprised" by her engagement ring. Oh sure, maybe he went out and bought it without her, and then pulled it out of his pocket at an unexpected moment. But the ladies all had at least some input. So yea, a woman with a tacky ring is, in my experience, fully complicit.

agree

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hmm...I'll be honest, not always but sometimes I definitely do. And when I do see a large ring I admit I usually wonder what it's overcompensating for in the relationship. I know, harsh and looking way into it. But I guess I just don't get needing a big ring. I quickly try to remind myself that jewelry to some people is a bigger deal than I think of it.

You really wonder that? Mine is inherited - so would you be wondering about my relationship with my grandmother?

The inherited 2.5 carat ring is not the norm.

Not sure about that. There are at least 2 people on this thread with large, inherited rings. But the point is how can you possibly make judgments about people based on their jewelry?

oh it's easy. just like judging people based on their oversized SUVs and designer sunglasses and poor driving skills.