Is it possible to be ‘only’ best friends with the opposite sex?

[Anonymous]

No.

[Anonymous]

Not for me. When I get emotionally attached I get physically attracted.

[Anonymous]

I really don't think it is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I really don't think it is.

pp again, and I think people who say it's possible are lying to themselves

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not for me. When I get emotionally attached I get physically attracted.

Same. I can be friends, but I'll never stop being attracted to that person.

[Anonymous]

Absolutely. My best friends are men. One is married, one isn't.

[Anonymous]

To date, five out of seven of my "strictly platonic" female friends have revealed that they had some kind of attraction to me in the years following my divorce. While I was married, I had no clue. My ex-wife always suspected it though. I found them attractive from the beginning, but that seems like par for the course as a guy. I'm attracted to 75% of the women I encounter, but that doesn't mean I act on it. I dated two of the women. I didn't find the other three physically attractive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I really don't think it is.

pp again, and I think people who say it's possible are lying to themselves

Not necessarily. My longtime best friend is a guy. But we grew up together, so it's always felt more like siblings/cousins. The thought of sleeping with him totally grosses me out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I really don't think it is.

pp again, and I think people who say it's possible are lying to themselves

Not necessarily. My longtime best friend is a guy. But we grew up together, so it's always felt more like siblings/cousins. The thought of sleeping with him totally grosses me out.

Good exception to the rule.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Depends if they're attracted to each other.

This is the key to OP's question.

[Anonymous]

No.

I had a "friendship" like this for a few years in grad school. I was in love with him in a way I'd never experienced; our friends would always ask why we weren't "together." I spend a ton of time analyzing the relationship with other friends, ALL of whom assured me that there was no way he was not attracted to me, and that there was no other explanation for the amount of time he spent with me.

I tried to end the friendship because it was so painful for me. He came and sat in front of my apartment all night in a snowstorm until I agreed to see him again. Yeah.

Then, I was the one who made the move one night, and he was...appalled. His reaction was just really extreme, as if he was shocked and revolted. He physically removed himself from the situation and refused to discuss it, then got angry and mean when I tried to end our relationship for good.

It was the weirdest and most hurtful experience for me. No, he wasn't gay. He was kind of slutty the whole time I knew him; he used to say things about how he compared this or that woman with me, and it was always unfavorable.

Not sure what happened, but years later, I think he used me for a sort of surrogate mother. I loved him and listened to him and supported him (he was an orphan).

I haven't seen him in 15 years and won't even google him because I know the pain will come back if I see his name/current relationship stats, etc.

No, men and women can't be friends. Someone will be hoping for more, and I do think the other person is always aware of this, thus using the person secretly yearning for more.



Then we spent a

[Anonymous]

So I have a long time friendship with someone that I used to see on a daily basis. We often ate meals together and shared many details in our lives.

We simply never had that awkward moment alone together where our guards were down and our minds were altered. I'm not positive something would have happened under those circumstances but I can't say I didn't think about her ever sexually. That said, I never had a tremendous urge, more of a curiosity. After a period of time, promotions took us in different directions and we have much less contact. We remain friends but the contact is very limited. Were that "awkward situation" to occur now, I think I could easily and politely say no. It's just a different time in our lives and our relationship has changed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So I have a long time friendship with someone that I used to see on a daily basis. We often ate meals together and shared many details in our lives.

We simply never had that awkward moment alone together where our guards were down and our minds were altered. I'm not positive something would have happened under those circumstances but I can't say I didn't think about her ever sexually. That said, I never had a tremendous urge, more of a curiosity. After a period of time, promotions took us in different directions and we have much less contact. We remain friends but the contact is very limited. Were that "awkward situation" to occur now, I think I could easily and politely say no. It's just a different time in our lives and our relationship has changed.

Sounds like, though, the potential is always there. It just depends upon circumstances.

[Anonymous]

yes. I'm married now, but before I was married, I had single guy friends (still have them) while I was single.

The issue is physical attraction/chemistry. My guy friends are objectively attractive, but I don't feel the chemistry with them (and vice versa), so it was never an issue. But they're great people, and we make for good friends.

[Anonymous]

nope. i wouldn't be ok with DH having a close female friend and i don't make new male friends. i have a colleague who asks that we meet up for lunch and i smile but never follow up. other than work related issues i just don't see why someone would be interested in socially hanging out with someone of the opposite sex. i had a male friend from college to grad school and once he got engaged i faded in the background. it's not just about him. i don't want to give his wife an issue for concern in the same way i wouldn't want to wonder what my DH was spending hours talking on phone with another woman, friend or not.