Is it possible to be ‘only’ best friends with the opposite sex?

[Anonymous]

No

[Anonymous]

Best friends? Maybe not. Good platonic friends? Absolutely. One of my husband’s close friends is a woman. She and I are friends as well and no, I don’t worry about an affair. I have had numerous close male friends in my life, too.

[Anonymous]

I’ve had lots of people classified as friends of the opposite sex and I have had some sort of sexual contact with most all of them; sometimes it was after years of being strictly friends.


Our parts are made to fit with each other and it takes a lot of work to keep them from doing so sometimes.

[Anonymous]

Two of my close friends are male, and I am not remotely attracted to them. I would react very poorly if they showed any sexual interest. I have met their wives and have done double dates with them. Women and men can absolutely be friends.

[Anonymous]

Good friends - maybe share a mutual fun hobby or activity - yes.

Best friends - no. I think if you share everything with each other, and you are both single, feelings are bound to develop.

At one point I had a male best friend (for about 5 years in my 20s). He developed feelings for me for sure. I really liked him and could even see myself being in love with him, but wasn't sexually attracted to him. It was strange for me. I had a really, really strong emotional connection with him but no physical connection. Once he told me he had feelings for me, we tried to date but it was too weird. I wasn't sexually attracted to him and our established relationship was too friendzoned. The dating lasted a couple of weeks. We stayed close friends for another couple years until he married and his wife felt very threatened by our emotional connection and friendship.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Two of my close friends are male, and I am not remotely attracted to them. I would react very poorly if they showed any sexual interest. I have met their wives and have done double dates with them. Women and men can absolutely be friends.

It is different if you are married because you put up boundaries in your mind and don't look at people the same way since it isn't an option.

[Anonymous]

Women can easily be close friends with men. However men cannot be close to a woman without eventually wanting her in bed. That’s just how the male sex drive works. Women are not wired for sex like that.

[Anonymous]

I had male best friend in my late 20s. Now in our late 30s, we've been together 7 years. Ha.

But sure, you can absolutely be friends with the opposite sex... if you find them unattractive sexually. Otherwise you're kidding yourself.

[Anonymous]

Definitely. I worked with a girl for years, hung out, drank together and we both had no sexual interest in each other whatsoever.

[Anonymous]

Absolutely. I have a couple of very good male friends. I'd never sleep with them. I suspect they would sleep with me if it was offered up, no strings attached, but they seem perfectly fine with being my friend. (I'm fun and a good wing-man for them, which helps.)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Women can easily be close friends with men. However men cannot be close to a woman without eventually wanting her in bed. That’s just how the male sex drive works. Women are not wired for sex like that.

Depends on the woman. I haven't made a move on any of my female friends, but they've definitely put it out there to me.

[Anonymous]

Yes, for some individuals. In the friendship though, it only takes one individual of the two to feel the "only just friends" way to keep the relationship from turning romantic/sexual, as others have noted in their posts of one friend having feelings for the other, but it still never happened.

It does help if you're not physically attracted to the person, or completely lack chemistry and that's confirmed - some of my best opposite-sex friendships are with guys I tried dating first and it was painfully obvious that although we liked each other as people, there was ZERO chemistry there.

Also it's a plus if you know the other person has, for you, what would be a fatal flaw in a relationship, but it doesn't matter as much in a friendship. Example - my female best friend is a complete hypochondriac. She is in urgent care multiple times sometimes in the same month. As her friend, it doesn't really affect me that much. She texts and says she's feeling unwell, has been to clinic, they couldn't diagnose anything, I send a sympathetic text back. A week later, she texts saying the same symptoms persist and she's going back to doctor, I send reply saying I hope they find out what's causing it this time, rinse and repeat. No big deal for me, but if I was a guy and married to her, I think I'd go nuts. Constantly driving her to the clinic, sitting with her in the waiting room, etc. Her husband is a saint. I'm sure her male friends feels the same way.

[Anonymous]

Yes, it's totally possible and can be perfect.