Reply to Is it possible to be ‘only’ best friends with the opposite sex?

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[quote=Anonymous]No.

I had a "friendship" like this for a few years in grad school.  I was in love with him in a way I'd never experienced; our friends would always ask why we weren't "together."  I spend a ton of time analyzing the relationship with other friends, ALL of whom assured me that there was no way he was not attracted to me, and that there was no other explanation for the amount of time he spent with me.

I tried to end the friendship because it was so painful for me.  He came and sat in front of my apartment all night in a snowstorm until I agreed to see him again.  Yeah.

Then, I was the one who made the move one night, and he was...appalled.  His reaction was just really extreme, as if he was shocked and revolted.  He physically removed himself from the situation and refused to discuss it, then got angry and mean when I tried to end our relationship for good.

It was the weirdest and most hurtful experience for me.  No, he wasn't gay.  He was kind of slutty the whole time I knew him; he used to say things about how he compared this or that woman with me, and it was always unfavorable.

Not sure what happened, but years later, I think he used me for a sort of surrogate mother.  I loved him and listened to him and supported him (he was an orphan).

I haven't seen him in 15 years and won't even google him because I know the pain will come back if I see his name/current relationship stats, etc.

No, men and women can't be friends.  Someone will be hoping for more, and I do think the other person is always aware of this, thus using the person secretly yearning for more.

Then we spent a [/quote]

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