Graduation HS Senior wants to go to Europe with friends
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Anonymous
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If you can afford it, this will be a great experience for her pre-college! I would mix the fake ID, though. You don’t want her to wind up in a foreign jail.
Get an itinerary and have a plan for regular phone check-ins. Make sure they have the embassy/consulate info for every country they’re visiting. Know where they’re staying every night of the trip. |
Anonymous
| No. I'd possibly say yes with a smaller group of kids and all were eighteen. Not this setup. |
Anonymous
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One of my daughter's super smart friends got permission to do this and my daughter who tells me everything told me she was being a drunken wh*re, dressing like a sl*t, and got an STD.
My answer is: HELL. NO. |
Anonymous
This. That poor girl at UVA was a few hours drive and same situation. It happens anywhere and thankfully rarely. Dont buy into the ridiculous plotlines of movies like taken..Human trafficking victims are not suburban American teenagers touring Europe |
Anonymous
That’s nothing. Unless Liam Neeson is her dad don’t let her go. Have you even seen Taken? |
Anonymous
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I'm inclined to want them to have at least a year of college under belt before going on a long backpacking trip. You learn so much about independence as well as sharing close quarters with friends and non-family members in that first year of college, and that really helps with a backpacking trip with friends.
But I would not rule out a post high school trip. I actually did one too. I travelled in the UK for six weeks before matriculating at college but two of those weeks were with my parents, and the other four had me regularly staying with family friends and relatives with a few days in hostels here and there, and my parents were also in the same country for another week as well, so they were reasonably close by. I had wonderful time as did my best friend who came with me. It was a perfect balance. But we were also a bit geeky. Having a pint on our own was daring! Even if I didn't like beer at all 
If I knew my kid was regularly drinking and partying in high school I'm not quite sure what I would do, however. I've seen and heard of too many tales of kids going wild. I certainly knew people who viewed these European backpacking trip as an excuse to drink and do drugs and have lots of sex. Every single night. If I had a child who I suspected was inclined in that direction, I'd probably insist on at least a year of college in hopes for extra maturity to kick in. |
Anonymous
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Only you can say how mature or not she is. If you do send her, make sure she carries notarized permission to travel solo. Our bus from France to Italy last year was delayed because the driver asked this of a French teenager traveling alone.
There may be other logistical issues for under 18’s: - My son is younger, but when we sent him to the UK on his own for summer camp at 12yo, I contacted the currency exchange vendor at Heathrow and they said it would be at the discretion of the manager that day as to whether or not they would change money for a minor; we obtained pounds ahead of time to avoid trouble. My son was able to use a credit card, but probably shouldnt have been allowed, as they are illegal for anyone under 18 to use in the UK (minors are technically not allowed to sign any kind of promissory note). - Set clear expectations of how often you expect her to check in with you. My son was scared of running up a huge overseas data bill, so he turned off cellular service, making it impossible to track him or communicate with him while he was in transit. - Also, a group of barely 18yo girls will most likely not be allowed to rent a car: I’d have a hard no-hitchhiking rule. Uber may/may not work in their destination countries. Find out ahead of time and make sure her account works, if you’re ok with her using it. |
Anonymous
New poster here. We travel in Europe frequently with our teen and have friends there (locals) who have teens. OP, please heed the excellent post above and the points about travel. This post also raises a good point: Do the girls plan to rent cars? They won't find vehicles big enough for so many; car rental is much more expensive there than here; and many rentals (at least, in the UK) are manual transmission. Can they drive a stick shift confidently, if all that a rental firm has in stock that day is a manual? Say they're not planning to rent cars, but--what if there's an emergency and they need to? And they can take trains, which are great, but the likelihood of getting seven or eight seats on the same train can be dicey during certain times. Do they know to check whether they're traveling on a local holiday when trains are sold out in advance? Are they OK with standing up to ride the train? Because that does happen. For hours. I can't picture a group this size NOT ending up arguing about logistics and costs of schlepping around. Two or three people? Sure. Seven or eight? They won't end up sticking together. All this to say--a hard no. My own DD has traveled a lot and I would say no to this setup your DD describes. |
Anonymous
| one of my best friends did this after hs graduation but with 1 other girl- they were NOT friends after the trip so I think a bigger group is a better idea. This was in 1998 - before cell phones and they were fine. I don't think a fake id is ever a good idea- how savvy is your kid? have some input on the planning, give her a budget and make sure she has a cell phone that works in europe. For all the ppl who are posting about money and how this is al luxury or whatever- luxury s defined by what each individual person can afford, not paying for something for your kids that will broaden their horizons b/c of misplaced guilt for not being an 'average' american is just stupid. You know what you can afford, the question you are asking is if it is safe- and yes it is. Especially if she is a seasoned traveler already. |
Anonymous
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Is she paying for it?
Have any of the girls been to Europe before. zit is a huge red flag for me they think they need to get your daughter a fake ID to drink at 17. She will be served without a problem. What worries me is that they don't know the area or where they are going and could end up in a bad situation. Funny enough I ran all around Europe between the ages of 14 and 22 but I was a military kid who lived there, knew how to blend, and had some street sense to realize when someone was being sketchy. I always felt safer in Europe in general that I ever did in DC. If your daughter and her friends have never been and she isn't paying for it, I would say no and look into a formal study abroad program so she can learn a language and have a home stay to learn about the culture of a specific country. |
Anonymous
NP. So she's a young senior. If my kid was paying for it, I wouldn't take issue. Once they graduate they are adults (assuming they are 18). I left home when I was 18, I moved to California and never once lived at home again. I made my own money, went to school, and was very independent. |
Anonymous
| It's spoiling. At 18 and financed herself, I'd be happy for her. |
Anonymous
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I was a very mature teen who took initiative on things. I did a trip to Europe after my freshman year of college, so age 19. I paid for it myself. I had been to Europe once in high school. Generally, I am all in favor of young women traveling. It is a great way to build confidence and get broader perspective. However, this proposed trip gives me pause, OP. First, there are too many girls. They will not want to all do the same things, there will be drama, and I predict the group will split up at some point. Second, I agree with a PP who said this sort of thing is better after a year of independence. It really makes a difference.
It also might be better at their young age to do a more organized trip with a company like Contiki. https://www.contiki.com/us/en/search?SortByAndOrder[0][sortBy]=rating&SortByAndOrder[0][order]=desc And fyi, there will be drinking and sex. Don't kid yourself. |
Anonymous
She couldn't have done any of those things in the US? All three would be entirely possible in a few months, once they're away at college. Foreign travel doesn't suck out your brains. |
Anonymous
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Absolutely not to the fake ID. If she gets caught, it would take a while for the US consulate to extract her from a foreign jail.
But IMO, the fact that she thinks a fake ID is a perfectly fine idea seems like a huge red flag that she isn't mature enough to handle a trip like this. |