middle school just sucks for girls

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My daughter is going to middle school next year...I am dreading it. Does ANYONE actually like middle school and have a positive social experience?

My girl did. Her biggest problem was having a locker she couldn't reach. I wrote an email to her principal asking him to help my vertically challenged child and he got her a lower locker. Socially, she had a great time. In 8th grade she kept a list on her phone of all the boys who asked her out (she said "Um, no thank you" to all of them). She went to school dances with friends. She went to sleepovers and learned to ride the bus all over the city without a grownup. Learned to navigate drama without getting sucked in.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My daughter is going to middle school next year...I am dreading it. Does ANYONE actually like middle school and have a positive social experience?

Yes, check out the post above yours.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My daughter is going to middle school next year...I am dreading it. Does ANYONE actually like middle school and have a positive social experience?

Yes, check out the post above yours.

PP I think Middle School stinks for most kids except maybe the kids at the top of the pecking order. Hold your DD tight and encourage activities outside of school/class.

[Anonymous]

OP here.
Thanks for all the kind thoughts!

My daughter does have a few kind and low-key friends and she plays a sport 3 days a week with a great group of girls. They attend about a dozen different schools and there's no drama between them at all.
And she has a sister and a brother and a pretty great home-life. She'll be okay in the long run.

But geez.. the stuff that her "former BFF" is pulling. Example: my daughter, BFF and 2 friends texting about hanging out on Sat. BFF calls the other 2 friends and invites them over and lies and tells them that my daughter is busy. Ignores my daughter's texts.
The next days she lies and tells my daughter that "she didn't see her texts about being available". When clearly she did.

Just last year (5th grade) this girls and my daughter just had silly, goofy fun together--pretend play, making slime, cooking etc. Now she's excluding my daughter and lying. Give me strength.

[Anonymous]

My two best friends ditched me going into jr high. In hindsight, it did a number on me. But my parents never talked to me about it or noticed it or whatever. I think that would've made a HUGE difference so kudos to you. I think just help her nurture friendships with kids that aren't getting caught up in the popularity nonsense and build her self esteem in different ways. Good luck.

[Anonymous]

It's not uncommon for girls to lose their "best" friend(s) in fifth or sixth grade. It just happens. It happened to my oldest in fifth grade. She's now in high school and has found her tribe.

Sixth through eighth grade is messy for girls. It just is. But it gets better. Be there for your daughter. Listen. Let her do the talking. Don't judge. Just listen. And tell her she's awesome.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:That stinks but middle school doesn't suck for everyone. I set my daughter up to have several different groups of friends so that if there happened to be a falling out with one group, she wasn't friend-less.

So if there was a sleepover with her core group that she somehow wasn't invited to, she just made plans with a friend from a different school for that night.

congratulations

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My daughter is going to middle school next year...I am dreading it. Does ANYONE actually like middle school and have a positive social experience?

My girl did. Her biggest problem was having a locker she couldn't reach. I wrote an email to her principal asking him to help my vertically challenged child and he got her a lower locker. Socially, she had a great time. In 8th grade she kept a list on her phone of all the boys who asked her out (she said "Um, no thank you" to all of them). She went to school dances with friends. She went to sleepovers and learned to ride the bus all over the city without a grownup. Learned to navigate drama without getting sucked in.

congratulations

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My daughter is going to middle school next year...I am dreading it. Does ANYONE actually like middle school and have a positive social experience?

Yes, check out the post above yours.

PP I think Middle School stinks for most kids except maybe the kids at the top of the pecking order. Hold your DD tight and encourage activities outside of school/class.

x1000


This advice is spot on, OP.

[Anonymous]

For my DD, who was done with elementary cliques and drama, MS has been great. New, diverse groups of friends, some of whom she sees outside of school for sports, etc. She's a curious, verbal, dorky kid, so also loves chatting with teachers, projects, etc. Middle School should be about getting out of one's comfort zone and exploring new stuff, with no risk involved.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My daughter is going to middle school next year...I am dreading it. Does ANYONE actually like middle school and have a positive social experience?

Yes, check out the post above yours.

PP I think Middle School stinks for most kids except maybe the kids at the top of the pecking order. Hold your DD tight and encourage activities outside of school/class.

I think that middle school is just a tough age.

However, while I was miserable in middle school, I don't think my daughters are, and they're not "cool" kids. And their father wasn't miserable either (and also wasn't a "cool" kid) - probably because he's never cared what anybody thinks about him, at any age. So it's not everybody. The key things seem to be (1) finding your people and (2) avoiding people who like drama.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My daughter is going to middle school next year...I am dreading it. Does ANYONE actually like middle school and have a positive social experience?

My girl did. Her biggest problem was having a locker she couldn't reach. I wrote an email to her principal asking him to help my vertically challenged child and he got her a lower locker. Socially, she had a great time. In 8th grade she kept a list on her phone of all the boys who asked her out (she said "Um, no thank you" to all of them). She went to school dances with friends. She went to sleepovers and learned to ride the bus all over the city without a grownup. Learned to navigate drama without getting sucked in.

Cool story, bro.

This OP is what you call a humble-brag.
This post is clearly intended to make you feel worse about your daughter's situation all while bragging about how great her daughter's was. Read the room, pp... you suck.

Very insensitive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My daughter is going to middle school next year...I am dreading it. Does ANYONE actually like middle school and have a positive social experience?

My girl did. Her biggest problem was having a locker she couldn't reach. I wrote an email to her principal asking him to help my vertically challenged child and he got her a lower locker. Socially, she had a great time. In 8th grade she kept a list on her phone of all the boys who asked her out (she said "Um, no thank you" to all of them). She went to school dances with friends. She went to sleepovers and learned to ride the bus all over the city without a grownup. Learned to navigate drama without getting sucked in.

And even in this best case scenario, this kid might grow up and cringe at her MS experience- their little hormonal internal worlds can be dramatic, even in a drama-free reality.

Its just an awkward age

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:That stinks I'm sorry some girls have such a bad experience in MS. Definitely encourage her to look for new friends. My DD (now in 8th) has stayed BFFs with the two girls who have been her closest friends since 2nd grade but they have also added two new girls to her core group and also like to look for girls who are eating alone and invite them to join them at lunch.

Wow, that's awesome that they like to include. Kudos to your daughter and friends!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My daughter is going to middle school next year...I am dreading it. Does ANYONE actually like middle school and have a positive social experience?

Two of my kids had a great middle school experience. My youngest is in 7th grade now and he is surviving, not thriving. He's not bullied but he's got SN and not a single friend. I assure you, his MS experience is far more difficult than your DD's.