Physical SN - How to transition away from a big sports focus

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op, let her play what she wants. Her frustrations from time to time is building resilience b/c she's choosing what she likes to do. If she wants to call it quits and try individual sports or other activities, then fine.

I think this is easier said than done. My DS w/significant motor planning delays gets really upset when he's last. I'm not sure that "always being the slowest kid" really builds the kind of resilience that's healthy. But, he pretty quickly concluded that he "hates soccer" so I never had to deal with steering him away from anything. I think it's OK if OP wants to let her DD figure this out on her own, but not at the expense of her self-esteem or spending time on other activities that are good for her.

Every kid is different. Your kid gets really upset whereas the op's kid is "just starting to realize" she can't always keep up with her peers. Not a big deal. The op is trying to preemptively shield her from something that may never be a problem.

Op, I had a friend who lost an arm from the elbow down as a child and went on to play on the high school basketball team. No prosthetic. This would never have happened if the parents were worried about potential disappointment or frustration on learning to play one handed.

Just let your kid develop into who she wants to be. If she's interested in something, let her try. Don't stop her before she even tries.

A limb amputation is not the same thing as a disorder that impacts balance, coordination, and endurance. Not all kids are Hallmark success stories. And all the research on "grit" is fake anyway. Kids should be encouraged to be resilient, but letting them fail over and over when they are not old enough to develop coping skills is not good parenting.

Have you had a limb amputated? You have zero idea. Of course not all kids are success stories. No one mentioned research on grit. The op's kid wants to try things and hasn't had a chance to fail yet. Trying to put your kid in a bubble doesn't help them either.

[Anonymous]

Yes - have her join the Special Olympics and any recreational sports team and let her have fun. If this is what she likes to do don’t discourage her - just keep trying to find some good sports ‘fits’.
There’s also ‘Sports Plus’ and Keen.
But really she should be welcome on any rec team. Ask the county for an adaptive aide if she needs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP I was your daughter as a child. I never played sports past an early age due do embarrassment and fear of getting hurt. I do wish I had tried a wider range of activities when I was younger (dance, martial arts?) if financially feasible a few private lessons would probably help

There are many dance schools that have handicap students fully integrated into the programs.
Also there are many Rec and school teams that would fully embrace a child who ‘can’t keep up’. You just have to find the right community of people.

[Anonymous]

Music and motion at Maryland youth ballet:
http://www.marylandyouthballet.org/outreach/music-and-motion/

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op, let her play what she wants. Her frustrations from time to time is building resilience b/c she's choosing what she likes to do. If she wants to call it quits and try individual sports or other activities, then fine.

I think this is easier said than done. My DS w/significant motor planning delays gets really upset when he's last. I'm not sure that "always being the slowest kid" really builds the kind of resilience that's healthy. But, he pretty quickly concluded that he "hates soccer" so I never had to deal with steering him away from anything. I think it's OK if OP wants to let her DD figure this out on her own, but not at the expense of her self-esteem or spending time on other activities that are good for her.

Every kid is different. Your kid gets really upset whereas the op's kid is "just starting to realize" she can't always keep up with her peers. Not a big deal. The op is trying to preemptively shield her from something that may never be a problem.

Op, I had a friend who lost an arm from the elbow down as a child and went on to play on the high school basketball team. No prosthetic. This would never have happened if the parents were worried about potential disappointment or frustration on learning to play one handed.

Just let your kid develop into who she wants to be. If she's interested in something, let her try. Don't stop her before she even tries.

I fully agree! Give her a chance. I’ve posted here before. My DS with motor planning issues couldn’t run without falling down at age 4 and was completely unable to follow the simplest steps in gym class. He wanted to play sports because his big brother did. I didn’t want to sign him up but DH insisted. DH worked with him whenever he asked and encouraged DS to play soccer, baseball and basketball. The OT worked with him on breaking down sports skills and through repetition (often hands on his body to build muscle memory) he steadily progressed. At the start of K he was by far the worst. By the end of 1st grade he was pretty average. At age 10, he’s actually quite an athlete. Thank goodness DH advocated to try. You never know!

[Anonymous]

If she wants to be part of a team, have her play Tball, then little league (or the softball equivalent).

At 5, 6, 7, most of the kids are a hot mess. Tball especially involves kids picking daisies, running all over the field, dropping balls. Very few kids possess the gross motor skills and hand eye coordination to hit or catch well. Most of the kids are missing or dropping balls. Most kids cannot hit consistently. And most pitchers are not accurate until around 9 or 10, so she will get walked regularly enough that she will be able to get on base at least once per game (and will often get to experience the thrill of "scoring")

The kids interact every inning in the dugout, so there is a ton of camaraderie and teamwork, far more opportunities than most sports provide. My low tone, uncoordinated kid made his mark as the team leader, mostly by cheering on and motivating teammates in the dugout.

If she is uncoordinated, she will still get playing time even if it is standing in the outfield. The lower levels are strictly developmental so there is no focus on winning, just teamwork and learning.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If she wants to be part of a team, have her play Tball, then little league (or the softball equivalent).

At 5, 6, 7, most of the kids are a hot mess. Tball especially involves kids picking daisies, running all over the field, dropping balls. Very few kids possess the gross motor skills and hand eye coordination to hit or catch well. Most of the kids are missing or dropping balls. Most kids cannot hit consistently. And most pitchers are not accurate until around 9 or 10, so she will get walked regularly enough that she will be able to get on base at least once per game (and will often get to experience the thrill of "scoring")

The kids interact every inning in the dugout, so there is a ton of camaraderie and teamwork, far more opportunities than most sports provide. My low tone, uncoordinated kid made his mark as the team leader, mostly by cheering on and motivating teammates in the dugout.

If she is uncoordinated, she will still get playing time even if it is standing in the outfield. The lower levels are strictly developmental so there is no focus on winning, just teamwork and learning.

And by low tone and uncoordinated, I mean that my kid would fall out of chairs as a 6 year old if he got tired or wasn't concentrating on holding his core tight.