How to stop fantasizing about coworker?

[Anonymous]

Imagine yourself fired for sexual assault. That'll do it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Imagine that he has bad wiping skills.

Eww that’ll do it lol!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How about you grow up?

Hmm grown ups don’t feel attracted to people?

[Anonymous]

You keep saying you wouldn't cheat. Convincing yourself? I'm surprised that after only 7 years and no kids you have such a strong attraction to somebody else. Attraction yes. Electricity ... what's actually going on in your marriage?

[Anonymous]

How bad are the fantasies?

What are you fantasizing about?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Tough spot. Do you guys work closely? Does he flirt with you?

We don't work on the same projects, but it's a small office. I can tell he is attracted to me too, sometimes I'll catch him watching me, or he'll come stand right next to me when people are in a group.

From someone who was in this situation - be careful. It's fun and exciting but it can quite possibly lead to more. The thrill is enticing, but if you will ever be in a situation where you could act on it (travel together, go out after work, etc.), then just put a kibosh on it now. It's crazy how quickly it can escalate. (Neither of us was married in my scenario, so it was a harmless fling and we're still friends, but it was definitely not something we were looking to do and we just got swept away way too easily). Just don't put yourself in the situation where you are ever physically close enough to touch.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You keep saying you wouldn't cheat. Convincing yourself? I'm surprised that after only 7 years and no kids you have such a strong attraction to somebody else. Attraction yes. Electricity ... what's actually going on in your marriage?

Honestly my marriage is great and strong - we have fun, good sex, travel, have fun! Of course not new and exciting, but definitely not unhappy so I am surprised too at the strong attraction tbh - im hoping part of it is just raging hormones due to getting off bc and will stabilize lol

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Tough spot. Do you guys work closely? Does he flirt with you?

We don't work on the same projects, but it's a small office. I can tell he is attracted to me too, sometimes I'll catch him watching me, or he'll come stand right next to me when people are in a group.

From someone who was in this situation - be careful. It's fun and exciting but it can quite possibly lead to more. The thrill is enticing, but if you will ever be in a situation where you could act on it (travel together, go out after work, etc.), then just put a kibosh on it now. It's crazy how quickly it can escalate. (Neither of us was married in my scenario, so it was a harmless fling and we're still friends, but it was definitely not something we were looking to do and we just got swept away way too easily). Just don't put yourself in the situation where you are ever physically close enough to touch.

Thanks - good advice and I am for sure not going to do anything social with him

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How bad are the fantasies?

What are you fantasizing about?

This is the non explicit forum.... !

[Anonymous]

How do I stop doing something bad? I have no idea ... !!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How do I stop doing something bad? I have no idea ... !!

Have you ever stopped doing something bad? You must have!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How bad are the fantasies?

What are you fantasizing about?

This is the non explicit forum.... !

yeah but OP can give us hints! Besides, the explicit forum stinks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You get closer to this guy, your husband finds out (even if it's just texting, flirting), he divorces you, the office guys runs away cause he just wanted a little fun and not all this drama. And here you are: single, back to dating market, a decade older and - chasing for a husband?

This. It’s fun to fantasize, but keep it there for the reasons above.

[Anonymous]

Just lay him and enjoy

[Anonymous]

If you're serious about wanting to stop this dynamic - tell your husband. In a mature way. If it bothers him, keep talking about it, go to therapy, etc. Once the secrecy of it is gone, the spark will fizzle.