Being with someone who's affect you find off-putting

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Listen to Bob Woodward speak. He speaks slowly, carefully. What about Diane Rehm’s affect? I think you may need to stop judging and start enjoying him. If you can’t do that then obviously move on.

Cannot stand Diane Rehm. She should have retired.

Agree. Her voice grated on me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What does affect mean here? Thanks from a non English speaker. (Yes I looked it up in the dictionary already)

In this instance it’s referring to how someone relays emotion and feeling through their voice, facial expressions, and gestures.

thanks much!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why would you want to be with somebody you find annoying?

Because she likes him and he treats her well. That's a good starting point. We all have some trait that initially can seem annoying but people get over it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Five dates in is nothing. Give the guy a chance.

No five dates is a LOT, especially with someone met online. Just ask him OP. This is likely not to change and this is why people date. End it.

[Anonymous]

My sibling’s spouse stutters a bit especially when nervous. They have been happily married for over a decade.

[Anonymous]

You can’t be this desperate. Why would you continue to see someone who annoys you? It’s early days this is when you are most excited by someone , it’s downhill from there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You can’t be this desperate. Why would you continue to see someone who annoys you? It’s early days this is when you are most excited by someone , it’s downhill from there.

Probably because her clock is ticking? Still, don't get in deeper with someone you find off-putting or annoying. WTF.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It bothers you, that’s all the information you need. Move on.

+1

I work with a guy that I can't stand speaking to but other people don't seem bothered. The way he speaks makes me want to strangle him and I basically avoid him because of this. If it bugs you, it bugs you. Let him find someone who isn't bugged by it and you find someone who doesn't bug you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It bothers you, that’s all the information you need. Move on.

+1

I work with a guy that I can't stand speaking to but other people don't seem bothered. The way he speaks makes me want to strangle him and I basically avoid him because of this. If it bugs you, it bugs you. Let him find someone who isn't bugged by it and you find someone who doesn't bug you.

can you be more specific? i'm so curious!

[Anonymous]

OP, I wouldn't decide to not see him over this until you ask him about it. Sure it might offend him. But if you're seriously considering it a deal breaker, go ahead and ask him. He may not know what you're talking about. He may have had an injury in the past, a brain tumor, a head injury .. something. The discussion may lead you to view him differently.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It bothers you, that’s all the information you need. Move on.

+1

I work with a guy that I can't stand speaking to but other people don't seem bothered. The way he speaks makes me want to strangle him and I basically avoid him because of this. If it bugs you, it bugs you. Let him find someone who isn't bugged by it and you find someone who doesn't bug you.

can you be more specific? i'm so curious!

PP here. He sounds like a computer, but with even less inflection. He speaks very slowly, but not like he's being careful, more like he's sleepy (he's not old, by the way). He also has zero change to his tone - it's just the exact same thing ALL THE TIME. I just want to strangle the slow monotone words coming out of his mouth...good thing he works in another office so I don't see him much. I swear I'm not a psychopath.

[Anonymous]

Does anyone remember Whitney Port from The Hills? Her affect drove me nuts! I'm a girl but if a guy sounded like that I couldn't handle it.

[Anonymous]

Bueller? Bueller? Bueller?

[Anonymous]

As much as I'd like to say that if you like him than you'd be able to and should overlook it...I'd have a hard time being coupled forever to someone who spoke like Ben Stein.

I think it depends on how bad it really is - no way I could listen to that voice for the rest of my life - in bed no less.

[Anonymous]

Don’t ask him.

After 5 dates, there’s a spark of chemistry or there’s not. If the cadence of his speech is annoying to you now, it probably won’t change. No harm, no foul.