Jealous of women who find husbands in their early twenties

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:STEM majors don’t all make bank, especially at the beginning of their careers. Stop comparing and thinking that their life is all perfect and will be forever and ever. Unfortunately everyone gets a share of lumps and challenges in life. Look at all the people in NC — rich and poor, the hurricane and massive flooding didn’t discriminate.

What’s keeping you and your DH from getting your finances together? Maybe stop reading everyone’s facebook posts and read some Dave Ramsey instead. Challenge yourselves to be in better financial shape by this time next year. Seems you have some free time — get a second job.

X1000

Some people only see money -and they get EXACTLY what they ask for in life.

[Anonymous]

Married out of college.

Approaching 25th anniversary.

We grew up together and will, God willing, grow old together.

We waited to have kids though until we were 30 (married 8 years)

I think that helped. We were able to have fun together before settling down.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I just noticed a friend of my younger sisters is pregnant on my Facebook feed. She is 26.married at 24. Her husband is also 26. I notice he is a stem major and probably makes bank. They look like they have their life figured out.

Meanwhile husband and I are early thirties. Still can’t afgord a child. Or a house.

Lol. Feel like a loser.

Stay off FB and live your life. People who marry younger are also more likely to get divorced.

Children change the dynamics, I tell you.

[Anonymous]

I'm male. I was 24 and my wife was 21 when we married. Been married 22 years now. We have two kids. Life is grand.

[Anonymous]

I'm almost 34, DH is 35. Been married 9 years. Had our first when I was 30, expecting our second currently. It's actually been a little isolating getting married so young and having a kid, because a lot of my peer group are in your shoes, OP. Luckily we met similarly situated folks via daycare, though mostly we are on the younger side, this being DC and all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
First, marriage is a crapshoot. At any age.

Second, when you truly want something, you get it and make it work.


I had my first child at 25 while in grad school. Our combined salary was below 60K. DC1 went to daycare. DC2 came 5 years later when income was at 80K. We bought a house on that salary, BTW, with a 40% downpayment we had scraped together for a decade while living in a one bedroom.

I'm sure you have options, OP. You just don't want to exercise them.

+1

Similar story

[Anonymous]

We got married at 20, pregnant, put ourselves through grad school through loans, scholarships, and some family help, had four kids before 30, got rich, put our kids through college, then stopped working in our early 50s with $6 million in the bank and are now living large!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Aside from people from my parents’ generation and older I have never known anyone who married in their early 20s who didn’t eventually get divorced.

Really? I'm 40 and nearly all of my college friends married in their 20s. I met my DH exactly 20yrs ago. Only 1 friend is divorced

My recent friends that I met in DC, many of them are older than me (our kids are same age) and I'm very sad much of our local social network has fallen apart due to divorces between these friends.

[Anonymous]

OP: you are a loser. At 30 I had a PhD, a wife, owned a house, had 2 cars, 2 dogs, a great social life, and I traveled a lot.

[Anonymous]

That was my story (married at 24 to a high earner in finance, pregnant at 26).

I left my job at 27 and haven't worked since. I've been a SAHM to 3 kids. Now I am 37 and my oldest is 10, youngest is 6, and I still don't know what I want to be when I grow up. I'm fortunate that I don't have to work but still. I feel like I need to do something with my life besides take care of my family and house.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Aside from people from my parents’ generation and older I have never known anyone who married in their early 20s who didn’t eventually get divorced.

Really? I'm 40 and nearly all of my college friends married in their 20s. I met my DH exactly 20yrs ago. Only 1 friend is divorced

My recent friends that I met in DC, many of them are older than me (our kids are same age) and I'm very sad much of our local social network has fallen apart due to divorces between these friends.

+2, exactly this. The majority of my college friends married in their mid-late 20s (to guys they'd met in college/their early 20s) and are still together.

And ditto to having a group here, of people who married older and then divorced

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
First, marriage is a crapshoot. At any age.

Very true. I waited till 40 to get married and it didn’t work out. Big advantage of getting married in your 20s is that you will be younger if you do get divorced. Makes a difference.

[Anonymous]

I met my husband at 17. Married at 26. Married 11 years, 2 kids. I certainly don't regret it, because I love him and we're happy, but I've always kind of wished we met later. I didn't get any fun single 20s life. So, there's that flip side.

[Anonymous]

I got marrie at 27. The person I chose then is now who I would have chosen 10 years later. There are definite benefits to waiting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I got marrie at 27. The person I chose then is now who I would have chosen 10 years later. There are definite benefits to waiting.

I...would not say getting married at 27 qualifies as "waiting", particularly with the DUM crowd. And presumably you started dating him (aka "found him") a couple years before walking down the aisle?