Note to fat people at the gym

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As a fat person, I get what you're trying to say. But it can come across a little condescending. Like you'd be patting my head while saying it. Almost like it's this huge production to go to the gym or that Im worried you're judging me, so you totally want to make sure that I know you're not.
If you were out to dinner with a fat friend and they ordered a salad instead of a burger would you say "good job Larla! I'm proud of you for ordering a said!". Probably not.

I once heard a comedian make a joke about how when a skinny person posts a photo of them in a belly shirt people roll their eyes at them being skanky or showing too much skin. When a fat person does it, it's inspriring because they have enough courage to show off a body they are.supposed to be ashamed about. And its SO true

+1. I really get that this discussion was coming from a well-intentioned place, but when I go to the gym, I just want to be another person at the gym. Even if you're doing it with a supportive spirit, it's still putting me in this separate box as different from other gym goers, as someone who doesn't really belong, as an oddity to be studied and speculated about just how much harder is it for me to run a mile than you. When I'm there, I'm doing my thing for myself. If you wouldn't give head pats to everyone there for showing up, please don't give me one just because I'm fat.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:For me (I'm not op) I'm inspired that you took that step to do something new outside of your comfort zone. I'm inspired that you are still at it even though it is more difficult for you to run a mile than it is for me. I'm inspired that you want to make a positive change in your life.

That's what inspires me.

Here's the problem I have with this -- not everyone showing up at the gym to make a positive change in their life and work at running a mile even though it's hard is fat, there are thin people at the gym in the same position, and not everyone who is fat is a gym newbie, some are fat despite working out regularly for years.. If you really just want to give kudos to people who are making positive changes and showing up even though it's hard, do it for everyone instead of singling out the people who are overweight and making all kinds of assumptions about everyone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For me (I'm not op) I'm inspired that you took that step to do something new outside of your comfort zone. I'm inspired that you are still at it even though it is more difficult for you to run a mile than it is for me. I'm inspired that you want to make a positive change in your life.

That's what inspires me.

Here's the problem I have with this -- not everyone showing up at the gym to make a positive change in their life and work at running a mile even though it's hard is fat, there are thin people at the gym in the same position, and not everyone who is fat is a gym newbie, some are fat despite working out regularly for years.. If you really just want to give kudos to people who are making positive changes and showing up even though it's hard, do it for everyone instead of singling out the people who are overweight and making all kinds of assumptions about everyone.

I think what OP is trying to say is, that although it's hard for you to walk in the gym (as you may feel self conscious) it's great that you took that first step! It's hard to do things you're not used to, so just showing up is really important!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:For me (I'm not op) I'm inspired that you took that step to do something new outside of your comfort zone. I'm inspired that you are still at it even though it is more difficult for you to run a mile than it is for me. I'm inspired that you want to make a positive change in your life.

That's what inspires me.

I guess the problem with this is that you assume that just because someone is fat, that the gym is a new or uncomfortable environment for them. There's an assumption and a condescension baked into the crust there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For me (I'm not op) I'm inspired that you took that step to do something new outside of your comfort zone. I'm inspired that you are still at it even though it is more difficult for you to run a mile than it is for me. I'm inspired that you want to make a positive change in your life.

That's what inspires me.

Here's the problem I have with this -- not everyone showing up at the gym to make a positive change in their life and work at running a mile even though it's hard is fat, there are thin people at the gym in the same position, and not everyone who is fat is a gym newbie, some are fat despite working out regularly for years.. If you really just want to give kudos to people who are making positive changes and showing up even though it's hard, do it for everyone instead of singling out the people who are overweight and making all kinds of assumptions about everyone.

I think what OP is trying to say is, that although it's hard for you to walk in the gym (as you may feel self conscious) it's great that you took that first step! It's hard to do things you're not used to, so just showing up is really important!

*thud*

Did you read the post you're responding to?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Am I the only one that finds the whole inspiring thing really condescending?

why is this condescending?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Am I the only one that finds the whole inspiring thing really condescending?

why is this condescending?

If you bother to read, it's been explained. At least twice.

[Anonymous]

Sorry everyone. I'm overweight. very overweight. I got a gym membership and have tried repeatedly to walk in and start exercising. I'm ashamed and embarrassed and feel like everyone there is laughing at me. I appreciate OP's post because it reminds me that all that is my own brain and there are at least SOME people that don't roll their eyes at me when I get on the treadmill and start sweating after 5 minutes and am walking much slower than the people around me who are barely getting a sweat but running a thousand times faster than me.

Thank you, OP. I appreciate your post even though a lot of people on here don't.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For me (I'm not op) I'm inspired that you took that step to do something new outside of your comfort zone. I'm inspired that you are still at it even though it is more difficult for you to run a mile than it is for me. I'm inspired that you want to make a positive change in your life.

That's what inspires me.

Op here. This is what I was trying to say.

You assume that this is new for them. That's the condescension. I know plenty of former HS, and college athletes and former gym rats that are now, some
very much soI get that you're trying to be helpful or encouraging, but many people already know what to but life has knocked them for a loop.

Yep. I'm fat, and I'm an athlete and former dancer and gymnast. Every SINGLE time I had a new yoga teacher (and it was also a school so they had student-teachers cycling through regularly) they'd always look at me when they asked, "Is anyone here for the first time? Anyone new to yoga?" as if surely anyone who does yoga regularly can't possibly be fat. They were always SHOCKED at my flexibility. So annoying.

*Shoutout to Jenn B for letting me always call her crying, "Please tell me to pull my shit together and go to yoga - I have to leave in 10 minutes." She always got me out the door.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For me (I'm not op) I'm inspired that you took that step to do something new outside of your comfort zone. I'm inspired that you are still at it even though it is more difficult for you to run a mile than it is for me. I'm inspired that you want to make a positive change in your life.

That's what inspires me.

Here's the problem I have with this -- not everyone showing up at the gym to make a positive change in their life and work at running a mile even though it's hard is fat, there are thin people at the gym in the same position, and not everyone who is fat is a gym newbie, some are fat despite working out regularly for years.. If you really just want to give kudos to people who are making positive changes and showing up even though it's hard, do it for everyone instead of singling out the people who are overweight and making all kinds of assumptions about everyone.

I think what OP is trying to say is, that although it's hard for you to walk in the gym (as you may feel self conscious) it's great that you took that first step! It's hard to do things you're not used to, so just showing up is really important!

Why are you assuming it's hard to walk into the gym? Why are you assuming someone might feel self-conscious? Why are you assuming someone might not be used to the gym?

A lot of assumptions - and judgments - there.

[Anonymous]

Fat or skinny people don’t inspire me . I just look at people equals anywhere at gym or not, I dont care if fat people working out or just lounging , their choice. Same with skinny people . I am average weight used to be very skinny without work out. I work out sometime just for health reason .

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For me (I'm not op) I'm inspired that you took that step to do something new outside of your comfort zone. I'm inspired that you are still at it even though it is more difficult for you to run a mile than it is for me. I'm inspired that you want to make a positive change in your life.

That's what inspires me.

Op here. This is what I was trying to say.

You assume that this is new for them. That's the condescension. I know plenty of former HS, and college athletes and former gym rats that are now, some
very much soI get that you're trying to be helpful or encouraging, but many people already know what to but life has knocked them for a loop.

Yep. I'm fat, and I'm an athlete and former dancer and gymnast. Every SINGLE time I had a new yoga teacher (and it was also a school so they had student-teachers cycling through regularly) they'd always look at me when they asked, "Is anyone here for the first time? Anyone new to yoga?" as if surely anyone who does yoga regularly can't possibly be fat. They were always SHOCKED at my flexibility. So annoying.

*Shoutout to Jenn B for letting me always call her crying, "Please tell me to pull my shit together and go to yoga - I have to leave in 10 minutes." She always got me out the door.

OMG, this. I stopped doing classes because I got so tired of this nonsense. And don't even get me started on the instructors who would single me out for praise in front of the whole class but did it for no one else. Lady, my form and effort were no better than anyone else's.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When I see fat people at the gym, I think, "good for you, keep coming and working hard, don't get discouraged".

TBH, I also think, "If I stop going to the gym, that's my future." I'd never say that to them, obviously, but I do think it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So we are supposed to not admire the dedication and effort that overweight people are showing when we see them jogging or cycling? Sheesh. I guess we aren’t supposed to notice the good positives we see through the day and only think/feel the crappy side of daily life? Guess I’ll just be happy and proud of you in secret.

You're not supposed to assume we're struggling or outside of our comfort zone or worried about your judgement. I go to the gym 5 times a week, and have since basically high school (where I was a two sport athlete). I'm not nervous or making a positive change or in need of your encouragement. I'm probably more fit than you; I'm just fat.

Jesus Christ, people will think this, and a whole lot worse things.

Do you ever think you'r fat because you have such a shitty attitude about life?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When I see fat people at the gym, I think, "good for you, keep coming and working hard, don't get discouraged".

TBH, I also think, "If I stop going to the gym, that's my future." I'd never say that to them, obviously, but I do think it.

And yet you thought it was totally cool to say it to people here. It's not somehow less of a dick move because we can't see your face. Not that I think you care about that, all you care is that your face isn't associated with your bitchiness.