Resolve this debate - is 20-25 min. to quick or too slow?

[Anonymous]

I've never timed it but how long it takes is usually up to me. We've been married a long time and I pretty well know what it takes to make it short or long depending on the mood I'm in. I don't recall my DH ever being concerned about time as he seems to enjoy it either way.

[Anonymous]

Timing him? Seriously? That seems super petty. What do you do? After the first kiss, grab your phone and start a stopwatch?

I also prefer long sessions, multiple sessions peppered with connecting intimately during the refractory period. Time to reconnect on many levels, not just PIV. My love language is primarily touch so I enjoy the closeness in between the hot sex.

That said, I love a quickie and early AM shower sex. Best way to start the day.

Communication is key. Just tell him you want to spend more time with him being intimate. More foreplay, more romance? Whatever it is you desire but aren’t getting in your usual 20 minutes.

[Anonymous]

Some of the people on this thread are talking about sex. OP: "from when we first lock lips until we are done."

Others are talking about intercourse: "the average time from the moment of penetration to ejaculation".

Those are different things.

[Anonymous]

Maybe stop thinking about how long it takes and how to covertly set timers and you will enjoy more and stop worrying if you did it "correctly".

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Some of the people on this thread are talking about sex. OP: "from when we first lock lips until we are done."

Others are talking about intercourse: "the average time from the moment of penetration to ejaculation".

Those are different things.

Agreed, and I'd like to know how long the actual PIV usually lasts.

[Anonymous]

All that matters is if you both are satisfied. It sounds like you may still want a little more. When I want more, I tell my partner that I need more and give them a couple of instructions on how to get there. If they aren't interested, then that is the end of the line for me. I am divorced and don't do exclusive for this reason.

Give DH some easy ways to keep going on you. Maybe after a bit, he will get interested again and go another round.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Some of the people on this thread are talking about sex. OP: "from when we first lock lips until we are done."

Others are talking about intercourse: "the average time from the moment of penetration to ejaculation".

Those are different things.

Agreed, and I'd like to know how long the actual PIV usually lasts.

Total time is around 20-25, like OP, and PIV maybe 4-5 minutes. It can be more if we change positions a few times.

[Anonymous]

We go an hour on average with 20-30 being a quickie. We’ve got three kids with one being a newborn. She was two weeks PP with the third and asking for it.

I don’t buy the BS of no time or too tired. We are both high drive and make it happen 3-4x a week. Sure I’d like it daily but thanks to DCUM land- I know that I’ve got it good.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We go an hour on average with 20-30 being a quickie. We’ve got three kids with one being a newborn. She was two weeks PP with the third and asking for it.

I don’t buy the BS of no time or too tired. We are both high drive and make it happen 3-4x a week. Sure I’d like it daily but thanks to DCUM land- I know that I’ve got it good.

f*ck you.

seriously, good thing you know you're fortunate to have landed a unicorn for a DW/partner.

[Anonymous]

Waaaaay too long.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I've never timed it but how long it takes is usually up to me. We've been married a long time and I pretty well know what it takes to make it short or long depending on the mood I'm in. I don't recall my DH ever being concerned about time as he seems to enjoy it either way.

+1
What used to take 30+ minutes can be accomplished in 5 or less these days if needed.

[Anonymous]

Guy hear, it depends on what happens in the 20 minutes. We are not doing PIV for 20 minutes. Just not happening with me. But, if we are talking about end-to-end, 20 min to an hour sounds right, depending on her mood.

The last element will be PIV, which is my turn (or sometimes mutual). She will have several turns before that using anything at my disposal.

When I was younger, I could recover in a few minutes, but at 55, I am done for the night.

My goal is to ensure she is satisfied so she will want it again. I am up for it at any time (after a 8-12 hour delay from the last time).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Guy hear, it depends on what happens in the 20 minutes. We are not doing PIV for 20 minutes. Just not happening with me. But, if we are talking about end-to-end, 20 min to an hour sounds right, depending on her mood.

The last element will be PIV, which is my turn (or sometimes mutual). She will have several turns before that using anything at my disposal.

When I was younger, I could recover in a few minutes, but at 55, I am done for the night.

My goal is to ensure she is satisfied so she will want it again. I am up for it at any time (after a 8-12 hour delay from the last time).

PP here. I should add, she controls the duration. She tells me when intercourse begins. 2-5 minutes later, we are done.

[Anonymous]

OP. Here's what you need to understand.

Put a new hot chick in front of your BF, he will go at her for 2 hours.

You, 20 mins is a bonanza!

[Anonymous]

I don’t know if the time itself is the issue. Are you looking for more foreplay/intimicy or orgasms? There are times I’m not looking to “make love” and all the cuddling/foreplay is at a minimum with DH and other times I want to connect more before we get to PIV.