True or false

[Anonymous]

Totally false. Most people grow up and mature. I would hate for people to judge me on my 20s.

[Anonymous]

False. People grow up. People’s priorities change over time. And every relationship is different. Just because one man/woman didn’t have what the “player” was looking for to make him/her want to settle down, doesn’t mean that no one exists who does.

I personally feel that when someone says things like “a leopard doesn’t change its spots” and insists that a person will never change, it’s just that own person’s bitterness and disappointment that they weren’t the one talking.

[Anonymous]

Are we talking about a player? Or a cheater?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Are we talking about a player? Or a cheater?

Interesting distinction. Players change, can cheaters change too? Hmm. I think so. Transformation is always possible wth self-awareness; even if unlikely in some circumstances.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Are we talking about a player? Or a cheater?

Doesn't matter. Some people find that one person that's enough for them, some don't.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are we talking about a player? Or a cheater?

Doesn't matter. Some people find that one person that's enough for them, some don't.

exactly some do change some don't.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are we talking about a player? Or a cheater?

Doesn't matter. Some people find that one person that's enough for them, some don't.

Sure it matters. Some people go through phases of having fun, dating a lot, short relationships when they aren't looking for anything serious. If you're not seriously dating two people at once and are upfront about what you're doing, where's the harm? And I've seen that phase absolutely pass. Maybe it's rebound after a divorce, or when your job is super intense and you can't commit to anything serious, or maybe you just started grad school and are enjoying the new pool of dating possibilities. I know lots of people who have gone through dating phases like that. Heck, I went through a very busy 6 months when I first moved to DC, after ending a serious relationship and right before meeting my husband of 18 years.

But once you start dating two people at once, or eyeing other potential dates while you're with someone seriously, that's not being a player. That's being a cheater. And it's rude, and unkind, and narcissistic. And unlikely to change.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are we talking about a player? Or a cheater?

Doesn't matter. Some people find that one person that's enough for them, some don't.

Sure it matters. Some people go through phases of having fun, dating a lot, short relationships when they aren't looking for anything serious. If you're not seriously dating two people at once and are upfront about what you're doing, where's the harm? And I've seen that phase absolutely pass. Maybe it's rebound after a divorce, or when your job is super intense and you can't commit to anything serious, or maybe you just started grad school and are enjoying the new pool of dating possibilities. I know lots of people who have gone through dating phases like that. Heck, I went through a very busy 6 months when I first moved to DC, after ending a serious relationship and right before meeting my husband of 18 years.

But once you start dating two people at once, or eyeing other potential dates while you're with someone seriously, that's not being a player. That's being a cheater. And it's rude, and unkind, and narcissistic. And unlikely to change.

You are just giving a couple of examples. There are many more variations.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are we talking about a player? Or a cheater?

Doesn't matter. Some people find that one person that's enough for them, some don't.

Sure it matters. Some people go through phases of having fun, dating a lot, short relationships when they aren't looking for anything serious. If you're not seriously dating two people at once and are upfront about what you're doing, where's the harm? And I've seen that phase absolutely pass. Maybe it's rebound after a divorce, or when your job is super intense and you can't commit to anything serious, or maybe you just started grad school and are enjoying the new pool of dating possibilities. I know lots of people who have gone through dating phases like that. Heck, I went through a very busy 6 months when I first moved to DC, after ending a serious relationship and right before meeting my husband of 18 years.

But once you start dating two people at once, or eyeing other potential dates while you're with someone seriously, that's not being a player. That's being a cheater. And it's rude, and unkind, and narcissistic. And unlikely to change.

You are just giving a couple of examples. There are many more variations.

The question was "once a player, always a player?" I pointed out a bunch of pretty common scenarios of players that are clearly just phases. I answered the OP's question by pointing out that, no, once a player, not always a player.

[Anonymous]

The good news: if he stops being a player, he won't cheat on you.

The bad news: if he stops being a player, you'll get bored with him and cheat or leave yourself.

[Anonymous]

Yes, it’s a thrill. We get our high off it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Once a player, always a player? Why or why not?

Don’t hate the playa, hate the game.

[Anonymous]

Jerry Hall got it right when she quoted her mother as saying "To keep a man, you must be a maid in the living room, a cook in the kitchen and a whore in the bedroom".

It’s that simple.

[Anonymous]

I was a player. I got it out of my system and settled down. It can happen

[Anonymous]

I don't know if I was a playa, but there was opportunity before I was married, and I responded. To be more specific and honest, I went out looking for women and wanting sex. When I was 22, I met the woman I would marry. Before I met her, I had sex with 70 to 100 women. I also drank a lot, so my memory isn't great. Since then, there's been no one else. It's been just my wife, and I don't think, as a person, I have actually changed all that much.