Teen pregnancy drama

[Anonymous]

I just hope that he’s really committed to single parenting. GF will pay CS, but it won’t be much and she might decline any custody or visitation. So he should prepare to parent 24/7/365 on little money while he tries to finish school or start a career. His parents sound like they will help. But it will really be on him.

As it was on me when I had a baby. Worth it, but not for the faint of heart.

[Anonymous]

The boyfriend and his family sound like assholes. Who tells a mother who to give their baby up to adoption to? She should have threatened an abortion. The mom has every right to choose the adoptive parents and it makes sense she doesn’t want her boyfriend’s elderly parents raising the kid.

[Anonymous]

The young man needs a lawyer. He has parental rights, and he’s putting himself in a good position to show that he’s been involved all along. The baby cannot be adopted without his consent, but to be safe, his lawyer may advise ironing out a custody agreement before the baby is born.

As an aside, if he’s going with her to appointments and they’ve been together for three years, are they still together? If so, how will that work if he wants to parent their baby but she doesn’t?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The boyfriend and his family sound like assholes. Who tells a mother who to give their baby up to adoption to? She should have threatened an abortion. The mom has every right to choose the adoptive parents and it makes sense she doesn’t want her boyfriend’s elderly parents raising the kid.

Um actually...while the BF has no rights now, he will have parental rights once the baby is born and she either puts his name on the birth certificate or he establishes paternity.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The boyfriend and his family sound like assholes. Who tells a mother who to give their baby up to adoption to? She should have threatened an abortion. The mom has every right to choose the adoptive parents and it makes sense she doesn’t want her boyfriend’s elderly parents raising the kid.

Um actually...while the BF has no rights now, he will have parental rights once the baby is born and she either puts his name on the birth certificate or he establishes paternity.

Exactly what she should have aborted the baby.

She shouldn’t put his name on the birth certificate and should let him sue.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The boyfriend and his family sound like assholes. Who tells a mother who to give their baby up to adoption to? She should have threatened an abortion. The mom has every right to choose the adoptive parents and it makes sense she doesn’t want her boyfriend’s elderly parents raising the kid.

The law does not appear to agree with you. Both parents have rights under the law.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here- from what I understand, his girlfriends dAd is trying to push him into agreeing to the adoption which he hasn’t wanted to do from day one. He’s been actively involved in her pregnancy and has gone with her to all but one appointment and has been paying her co pay for her too out of his own money for each appointment. The girlfriends dad is a big time lawyer so that’s why my friend isn’t sure how this is going to go down and is worried about it getting nasty.

This is a lot of very specific information about someone else's child.

Jeff should delete this thread.

Teenage pregnancy is not that rare. There is nothing identifying in op's story.

Obviously you did not read her original post

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The boyfriend and his family sound like assholes. Who tells a mother who to give their baby up to adoption to? She should have threatened an abortion. The mom has every right to choose the adoptive parents and it makes sense she doesn’t want her boyfriend’s elderly parents raising the kid.

You are gross. Children belong with their parents if they are capable. This boy has the support to make this work. Putting the child through an unnecessary loss and trauma is unconscionable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If the mother wants to relinquish custody and the father doesn’t, wouldn’t the father get custody? The father has to consent to the adoption, so that shouldn’t be an issue.

Consult an attorney, but I think this is right.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The boyfriend and his family sound like assholes. Who tells a mother who to give their baby up to adoption to? She should have threatened an abortion. The mom has every right to choose the adoptive parents and it makes sense she doesn’t want her boyfriend’s elderly parents raising the kid.

Um actually...while the BF has no rights now, he will have parental rights once the baby is born and she either puts his name on the birth certificate or he establishes paternity.

Exactly what she should have aborted the baby.

She shouldn’t put his name on the birth certificate and should let him sue.

They dated for three years and there’s no indication the boy has been a jerk to her, so WTH is your issue?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is going to sound like a lifetime movie but I promise it’s not!

My best friends 18 year old son got his high school girlfriend of 3 years pregnant. She is currently almost 5 months along and she/her family decided that they want to put the baby up for adoption. My best friend and her son (father of the baby) are very upset by this and want to be in the baby’s life. My best friend is considering asking her sons girlfriends parents if they can *adopt* the baby and they will raise it and not expect anything from the mom or her family financially, etc. She’s pretty good friends with them as her son and their daughter have been dating for a little over 3 years now and they’ve spent lots of time together, gone on trips together, etc. She’s just worried about bringing this up and if they say no, she doesn’t know what else to do as her and her husband AND her son want to keep the baby and not have her adopted off. Both families are very well off so money would never be an issue and again, they wouldn’t expect or want any financial help from the mom. She was planning on going to college in MA next year (she’s going into her senior year of high school) and he graduated in June and is attending school locally. My friend thinks that this would make it easier on the mom as she will be going away and can be as involved or uninvolved as she’d like. I can’t imagine what she’s going through and want to give her advice but I don’t even know what she’d do in this situation. Her son is the sweetest kid and while he understands he’s young and has his whole life ahead of him, he knows this is his baby and wants to be in her life. The whole situation is a mess. Anyone have any thoughts or advice in this situation? If she’s going to have this convo with the family, I told her it needs to happen asap as the pregnancy is halfway through.

This is very antiquated language. He did not GET her pregnant. They had sex which I hope was consensual.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here- from what I understand, his girlfriends dAd is trying to push him into agreeing to the adoption which he hasn’t wanted to do from day one. He’s been actively involved in her pregnancy and has gone with her to all but one appointment and has been paying her co pay for her too out of his own money for each appointment. The girlfriends dad is a big time lawyer so that’s why my friend isn’t sure how this is going to go down and is worried about it getting nasty.

This is a lot of very specific information about someone else's child.

Jeff should delete this thread.

Teenage pregnancy is not that rare. There is nothing identifying in op's story.

Obviously you did not read her original post

We don’t live in the DMV (I used to live in Virginia but have since moved) so no....there is no one that would know who this is about.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is going to sound like a lifetime movie but I promise it’s not!

My best friends 18 year old son got his high school girlfriend of 3 years pregnant. She is currently almost 5 months along and she/her family decided that they want to put the baby up for adoption. My best friend and her son (father of the baby) are very upset by this and want to be in the baby’s life. My best friend is considering asking her sons girlfriends parents if they can *adopt* the baby and they will raise it and not expect anything from the mom or her family financially, etc. She’s pretty good friends with them as her son and their daughter have been dating for a little over 3 years now and they’ve spent lots of time together, gone on trips together, etc. She’s just worried about bringing this up and if they say no, she doesn’t know what else to do as her and her husband AND her son want to keep the baby and not have her adopted off. Both families are very well off so money would never be an issue and again, they wouldn’t expect or want any financial help from the mom. She was planning on going to college in MA next year (she’s going into her senior year of high school) and he graduated in June and is attending school locally. My friend thinks that this would make it easier on the mom as she will be going away and can be as involved or uninvolved as she’d like. I can’t imagine what she’s going through and want to give her advice but I don’t even know what she’d do in this situation. Her son is the sweetest kid and while he understands he’s young and has his whole life ahead of him, he knows this is his baby and wants to be in her life. The whole situation is a mess. Anyone have any thoughts or advice in this situation? If she’s going to have this convo with the family, I told her it needs to happen asap as the pregnancy is halfway through.

Oh FFS, DH knocked me up. Regardless of my half of the sexual activity, I didn’t do that to myself.
This is very antiquated language. He did not GET her pregnant. They had sex which I hope was consensual.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The boyfriend and his family sound like assholes. Who tells a mother who to give their baby up to adoption to? She should have threatened an abortion. The mom has every right to choose the adoptive parents and it makes sense she doesn’t want her boyfriend’s elderly parents raising the kid.

You're so weird.

Do you understand parental rights at all??
True that by some weird twist of cultural norms, the law allows this girl to terminate the life of her and her boyfriend's unborn child without his consent. However, once that baby is outside the womb, the law acknowledges the parental rights of both the mother AND the father...and both must give up those rights in order for any child to be placed for adoption.

If he doesn't give up his rights and she does, then she gets NO say in who the dad gets to HELP him with raising HIS child. The only thing within her control at this point would be whether or not she wants to mother this child or give up custody. If he signs nothing, he waives no rights.

[Anonymous]

Open adoption is rarely legally enforceable. Tell him to figure out what he needs to do to establish paternity and if she doesn't want to care for the baby, have him and his family do it.