Is joint custody a fait accompli? [MD]

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He will not get alimony if he is working but he can get child support to help him maintain a home/kids things while in his care.

OP here, but even if I cannot afford it? As in I will literally be ending with a few dimes each month, but I have to pay him?! That means I can’t divorce him. I will have no $ to give for support after I pay rent, utilities, etc. for me and the kids.

There are so many lawyers on DCUM, can one of you opine? Am I stuck with him, if indeed I have to pay support I can’t afford on my own?

What am I going to do, I have worked so damn hard these past few years to get a promotion, to make more money, so I can get out of this. I am seriously crying now, I can’t ever get away! Oh my God my poor kids, what the F*** am I going to do?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He will not get alimony if he is working but he can get child support to help him maintain a home/kids things while in his care.

OP here, but even if I cannot afford it? As in I will literally be ending with a few dimes each month, but I have to pay him?! That means I can’t divorce him. I will have no $ to give for support after I pay rent, utilities, etc. for me and the kids.

There are so many lawyers on DCUM, can one of you opine? Am I stuck with him, if indeed I have to pay support I can’t afford on my own?

What am I going to do, I have worked so damn hard these past few years to get a promotion, to make more money, so I can get out of this. I am seriously crying now, I can’t ever get away! Oh my God my poor kids, what the F*** am I going to do?

How old are DCs? Can you live in a 1 bedroom ..bunks or twins for DCs and you sleep on the couch/pull-out?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:if I were you, I'd be worried about having to pay alimony, especially if he decides to quit his job.

No advice, just hope everything works out well for you and the kids. It would be really scary for the kids to be trapped at the dad's house if he's potentially violent and unpredictable.

If he quits, that’s voluntary impoverishment and the judge will determine what he should be earning and base child support or alimony on that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He will not get alimony if he is working but he can get child support to help him maintain a home/kids things while in his care.

OP here, but even if I cannot afford it? As in I will literally be ending with a few dimes each month, but I have to pay him?! That means I can’t divorce him. I will have no $ to give for support after I pay rent, utilities, etc. for me and the kids.

There are so many lawyers on DCUM, can one of you opine? Am I stuck with him, if indeed I have to pay support I can’t afford on my own?

What am I going to do, I have worked so damn hard these past few years to get a promotion, to make more money, so I can get out of this. I am seriously crying now, I can’t ever get away! Oh my God my poor kids, what the F*** am I going to do?

You have to figure it out. Many parents paying child support have to. Its very tight. Negotiate with him to pay some of the kids expenses and reasonable visitation and see what he says.

[Anonymous]

Op don't freak out based on what internet strangers are telling you. Try to talk to a lawyer.

[Anonymous]

Exactly. Talk to a lawyer. Very few divorced dads give a shit about their kids. Video his next violent outbursts. Get lots of footage of him being the asshole drunk he is. Then threaten to make it public if he gives you ant crap.


Be strong and a warrior for your kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op don't freak out based on what internet strangers are telling you. Try to talk to a lawyer.

You are right to advise her not to freak out but when is it ever in the best interest of DCs to have no relationship with their Father

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Exactly. Talk to a lawyer. Very few divorced dads give a shit about their kids. Video his next violent outbursts. Get lots of footage of him being the asshole drunk he is. Then threaten to make it public if he gives you ant crap.


Be strong and a warrior for your kids.

Absolutely not true. Often, men aren't welcome by the mom's in their kids lives and after court battles and no accountability for visitation give up. Courts hold Dad's accountable for child support but don't hold mom's accountable for visitation. You don't embarrass him or do anything to lose his job. That is not good for the kids. Imagine if you go public on your marriage and it gets back to your kids...... how about them?

[Anonymous]

have you contacted the Family Justice Center in Rockville? That have tons of colocated services for victims of domestic violence.

Don’t freak out. You can do this.

[Anonymous]

https://www.montgomerycountymd.gov/fjc/

[Anonymous]

You need to talk to a lawyer. Talking to one does not obligate you to retain them, but does give you a way to gain insight into your options.

[Anonymous]

talk to a lawyer and start calling the cops every single time he's having an outburst. Every.time. Get it documented.

[Anonymous]

You really need to talk to a lawyer, things vary so much. I know a perfectly fit father who had nothing against him and his ex was able to move the kids out of state (back to where she was from originally) despite his objections so no 50/50 physical custody there.
I used to think it was all cut and dry, but I’ve learned it varies.

[Anonymous]

I am trying to picture the reaction on DCUM if a father were to say, “I have to pay her spousal support AND child support? Even if I can’t afford it?”

Suffice it to say that it would not be the same as the response OP is getting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op don't freak out based on what internet strangers are telling you. Try to talk to a lawyer.

You are right to advise her not to freak out but when is it ever in the best interest of DCs to have no relationship with their Father

She’s not saying she wants them to have no relationship, she’s saying she wants no overnights. That’s pretty different.