Do you shade parents who rent in your school boundary?

[Anonymous]

Once upon a time you could have caught that whiff from me, in a gentrifying neighborhood, when friends renting rowhouses were calling homebuyers crazy and arguing that price were too high for the neighborhood and they wanted to wait for prices to correct before buying. They all ended up buying way further out and way smaller than what they could have afforded had they bought sooner instead of waiting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wonder if people might be misinterpreting a bit. We were renters an excellent school district, and now we own. When I meet new families, it’s not “shade” per se, but I’m perhaps a little disappointed when I find out that they rent (although this is a rarity in my neighborhood) because you don’t want to invest in getting to know someone, have your kids befriend their’s, etc. if they may leave the neighborhood fairly soon. However, I really would try not to show any disappointment since I wouldn’t want those people to feel bad--I’ve been in their shoes.

PP again. I’d add that it’s not like we’re not friendly towards renters and don’t want to get to know them at all; it’s just that we’re not quite as invested in hanging out if they don’t plan on being here long. Of the three renting families that I can think of in my neighborhood, in the past 5 years, all left within a year or two.

You are generalizing. Snob.

[Anonymous]

How do you know? Who asks this personal question?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wonder if people might be misinterpreting a bit. We were renters an excellent school district, and now we own. When I meet new families, it’s not “shade” per se, but I’m perhaps a little disappointed when I find out that they rent (although this is a rarity in my neighborhood) because you don’t want to invest in getting to know someone, have your kids befriend their’s, etc. if they may leave the neighborhood fairly soon. However, I really would try not to show any disappointment since I wouldn’t want those people to feel bad--I’ve been in their shoes.

PP again. I’d add that it’s not like we’re not friendly towards renters and don’t want to get to know them at all; it’s just that we’re not quite as invested in hanging out if they don’t plan on being here long. Of the three renting families that I can think of in my neighborhood, in the past 5 years, all left within a year or two.

You are generalizing. Snob.

Didn't I say I was a renter too until recently?? It's not a snob thing at all. It's just, do I want to get tight with a family that is possibly going to move in the near future. I'm speaking from my experiences in my own neighborhood, where there are very few renters, and extrapolating from those few cases. Again, the families who rented were nice, and one lived next door to us. All moved to less expensive areas--one back to their Midwest hometown, and the other two to Silver Spring. I never suspected them of renting with the intent to keep their kids at the school, as OP suggested.

[Anonymous]

What? No. Of course not. Is this a Janney thing?

[Anonymous]

Just when you think you've heard all of the ways parents can be crummy to each other! good grief.

And, to the PP who is saying that he/she doesn't invest a lot in friendships with renters because they might move: most people that I know who have moved out of the city with their kids had owned their houses, so homeownership is not a good indicator of stability.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just when you think you've heard all of the ways parents can be crummy to each other! good grief.

And, to the PP who is saying that he/she doesn't invest a lot in friendships with renters because they might move: most people that I know who have moved out of the city with their kids had owned their houses, so homeownership is not a good indicator of stability.

PP you're referencing here. In my neighborhood, there is very low turnover. Once people buy here, they tend not to move unless they have a job transfer out of the area. In the almost five years we've lived here, we only know a couple homeowner families that moved. One had been here for 15 years and had a big promotion out West. Same for our sellers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just when you think you've heard all of the ways parents can be crummy to each other! good grief.

And, to the PP who is saying that he/she doesn't invest a lot in friendships with renters because they might move: most people that I know who have moved out of the city with their kids had owned their houses, so homeownership is not a good indicator of stability.

Also--if someone is renting IB of a hard-to-get-into school, it's probably because they want their kids to go to that school. So they would seem to be as likely to stay for a while as a homeowner. And DC is a pretty transient city to begin with, so not bothering to get to know people because they might move is going to drastically shrink your pool of potential friends.

And I suppose I'll get to experience this--we are moving so our kid can go to a specific school, and will be renting. A bummer to know that some people won't bother befriending us because we rent. My consolation is that people like that aren't really worth getting to know.

[Anonymous]

Doesn't bother me that people rent in-boundary.

What bothers me is when they move after a year and the principal of our school allows them to continue to attend after they've bailed for a less expensive neighborhood and someone else with kids moves into the same unit.

There is a reason our elementary school is over crowded despite households in our neighborhood having fewer kids per house than they used to.

[Anonymous]

The shade I throw is because renters are less likely to be committed to the neighborhood, it’s well-being, and maintenance. Also, why invest in a relationship if they are just going to pick up and move? Owners have a vested interest in the physical and emotional infrastructure, renters do not.

[Anonymous]

What? No. I love getting advantages for less than what other people pay for them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No, I don't typically ask people if they rent or have bought.

+1 I can't imagine asking that question...ever. And if someone did purposely rent to be in a school district, so what? I only have a problem with people who live elsewhere and lie about their address (educator here).

[Anonymous]

I rent and send my kids to our local school. Honestly, I've never felt "shade" from homeowners. I'm very active with the school and neighborhood, and laugh at the notion that I'm not as "invested" as others! For heaven's sake, of course I want my neighborhood and local school to thrive! But I don't want to own a house -- I prefer to rent in a building with a lot of amenities.

[Anonymous]

We owned (a condo) and still felt snubs in our neighborhood when DC was in elementary so I wouldn’t blame it on renting. People can be snobs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We owned (a condo) and still felt snubs in our neighborhood when DC was in elementary so I wouldn’t blame it on renting. People can be snobs.

I should add - we still own, so that line about not being as invested in the neighborhood is bull. Our oldest is in private now and ironically it is hardly an issue there.