Do you shade parents who rent in your school boundary?

[Anonymous]

In my case, I’m an introvert. It takes a lot of energy to put myself out there to try to make friends with neighbors. Seems not worth it when if there’s a good chance that they will move shortly. Maybe the likelihood of renters moving away seems like not a big deal to more extroverted people.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We have felt snobbery because we live in an apartment (purchased condo) WotP and not in a single family home. This is a choice we have made for lifestyle reasons, not for financial reasons. Still, the snobbery is there in our neighborhood....

At the same time, I have recently probably started to take part in the snobbery of rent vs. buy in our apartment building. This is not intentional snobbery as I have nothing against people who rent. But when my first child was born 7 years ago, we developed a great group of friends within our building that we really enjoyed. There were about 6-7 families that all spent time together and enjoyed one another and one another's kids.

Fast forward 5 years and all but one family left for the suburbs. I had failed to realize that they were all just renting units until they could move out and buy a single family home. It was so disappointing!

So, now, I honestly don't want to waste time on renters......too much energy to put in to neighborts relationships then to have them up and leave. I still try to be friendly to families who rent but don't invite them over etc.

You know that people who buy a condo might also move to the 'burbs, right? And that there are people, like me, who rent and have zero intention of moving to the burbs. You're missing out on potential friends.

But you seem to be like so many people--friendships are "investments," and they aren't "worth it" if the friends move to Arlington or whatever. Whereas I don't evaluate friendships based on ROI, but on whether I enjoy spending time with people. If they move away--well, I still enjoyed the time I spent with them.

Would the last seven years of your life have been better if you hadn't bothered making friends with your neighbors? Is your life better now that you don't make friends with families who rent in your building?

Well said. And very true that even families who buy condos very frequently do so with the intention of moving to a house later on. And even in an SFH neighborhood it can happen. I live in AU Park where there isn't a lot of turnover, yet since we bought nine years ago, one family who bought almost simultaneously has moved on to a bigger house in CCDC, while another who had bought the same year moved for a job out of state - and that after building a huge addition on their house. DC is transient.

[Anonymous]

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]We have felt snobbery because we live in an apartment (purchased condo) WotP and not in a single family home. This is a choice we have made for lifestyle reasons, not for financial reasons. Still, the snobbery is there in our neighborhood....

At the same time, I have recently probably started to take part in the snobbery of rent vs. buy in our apartment building. This is not intentional snobbery as I have nothing against people who rent. But when my first child was born 7 years ago, we developed a great group of friends within our building that we really enjoyed. There were about 6-7 families that all spent time together and enjoyed one another and one another's kids.

Fast forward 5 years and all but one family left for the suburbs. I had failed to realize that they were all just renting units until they could move out and buy a single family home. It was so disappointing!

So, now, I honestly don't want to waste time on renters......too much energy to put in to neighborts relationships then to have them up and leave. I still try to be friendly to families who rent but don't invite them over etc. [/quote]

You know that people who buy a condo might also move to the 'burbs, right? And that there are people, like me, who rent and have zero intention of moving to the burbs. You're missing out on potential friends.

But you seem to be like so many people--friendships are "investments," and they aren't "worth it" if the friends move to Arlington or whatever. Whereas I don't evaluate friendships based on ROI, but on whether I enjoy spending time with people. If they move away--well, I still enjoyed the time I spent with them.

Would the last seven years of your life have been better if you hadn't bothered making friends with your neighbors? Is your life better now that you don't make friends with families who rent in your building? [/quote]

Well said. And very true that even families who buy condos very frequently do so with the intention of moving to a house later on. And even in an SFH neighborhood it can happen. I live in AU Park where there isn't a lot of turnover, yet since we bought nine years ago, one family who bought almost simultaneously has moved on to a bigger house in CCDC, while another who had bought the same year moved for a job out of state - and that after building a huge addition on their house. [b]DC is transient.[/b][/quote]

Seriously. I’ve lived in DC for 20 years and I’ve made and re-made friends several times over. It can be exhausting, but also exciting to meet new people doing exciting things. And now I have friends all over the country and world. My kids have had some heartbreak of friends moving away, but they are learning the joys of FaceTime and love mailing off homemade cards to distant friends. They know how to make and enjoy new friends. That’s a valuable life skill.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We have felt snobbery because we live in an apartment (purchased condo) WotP and not in a single family home. This is a choice we have made for lifestyle reasons, not for financial reasons. Still, the snobbery is there in our neighborhood....

At the same time, I have recently probably started to take part in the snobbery of rent vs. buy in our apartment building. This is not intentional snobbery as I have nothing against people who rent. But when my first child was born 7 years ago, we developed a great group of friends within our building that we really enjoyed. There were about 6-7 families that all spent time together and enjoyed one another and one another's kids.

Fast forward 5 years and all but one family left for the suburbs. I had failed to realize that they were all just renting units until they could move out and buy a single family home. It was so disappointing!

So, now, I honestly don't want to waste time on renters......too much energy to put in to neighborts relationships then to have them up and leave. I still try to be friendly to families who rent but don't invite them over etc.

You know that people who buy a condo might also move to the 'burbs, right? And that there are people, like me, who rent and have zero intention of moving to the burbs. You're missing out on potential friends.

But you seem to be like so many people--friendships are "investments," and they aren't "worth it" if the friends move to Arlington or whatever. Whereas I don't evaluate friendships based on ROI, but on whether I enjoy spending time with people. If they move away--well, I still enjoyed the time I spent with them.

Would the last seven years of your life have been better if you hadn't bothered making friends with your neighbors? Is your life better now that you don't make friends with families who rent in your building?

Well said. And very true that even families who buy condos very frequently do so with the intention of moving to a house later on. And even in an SFH neighborhood it can happen. I live in AU Park where there isn't a lot of turnover, yet since we bought nine years ago, one family who bought almost simultaneously has moved on to a bigger house in CCDC, while another who had bought the same year moved for a job out of state - and that after building a huge addition on their house. DC is transient.

PP here. Meant to say that both of those families who move were on our block. It's not rare for people who own SFHs to pack up and leave unexpectedly. Less so than for renters, but there are no guarantees in a transient city like DC.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote: In my case, I’m an introvert. It takes a lot of energy to put myself out there to try to make friends with neighbors. Seems not worth it when if there’s a good chance that they will move shortly. Maybe the likelihood of renters moving away seems like not a big deal to more extroverted people.

Eh, I'm an introvert, too, and I'd rather spend my social energy making friends with the people I like, rather than the people who happen to own real estate. To each his own, of course, but it just seems so sad to decide that you won't bother getting to know someone because "they might move soon." But I suppose if you have plenty of home-owning friends, it doesn't matter to you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: In my case, I’m an introvert. It takes a lot of energy to put myself out there to try to make friends with neighbors. Seems not worth it when if there’s a good chance that they will move shortly. Maybe the likelihood of renters moving away seems like not a big deal to more extroverted people.

Eh, I'm an introvert, too, and I'd rather spend my social energy making friends with the people I like, rather than the people who happen to own real estate. To each his own, of course, but it just seems so sad to decide that you won't bother getting to know someone because "they might move soon." But I suppose if you have plenty of home-owning friends, it doesn't matter to you.

PP here. Yes, in my neighborhood, renters are pretty rare. So I would be friendly of course, but I find social interactions very energy-consuming, so I choose carefully how to expend that energy, I guess.