Men and emotional connectedness

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes, sex is important for both sexes. Men aren’t robot orgasm sex fiends. Be the person in his life who truly listens, provides her perspective on any matter and knows when to let him chill.

And just get over the small stuff... he may never replace the TP and continue to pile large pizza boxes on top of an overflowing trash can or whatever it is that drives you nuts.

Hug him and be a catalyst for his sensitive side. Men typically have a hard time dealing with emotions that females easily navigate.

Ugh, females. Why men but females? So objectifying.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Give him plenty sex and he'll feel an emotional connection to you. Easy!

It's just sex? What about talking or feelings?

Let me point you to this:
http://www.marriagehelper.com/sexual-rejection-effect-on-marriage

Sex is more than a release for men..I mean sometimes it is but with there long term partner it’s different.

Men need sex to feel connected, there’s. I way around that.

[Anonymous]

Men not only want sex but to be wanted sexually.

[Anonymous]

Hate to beat a dead horse but it really is sex. Men feel connected through sex, disconnected without it.

[Anonymous]

A problem presents itself. Doesn’t really matter what it is. Women want to discuss the problem, her feelings about it, wants to share the problem and her feelings about it with her girlfriends, wants to know her girlfriends’ feelings about it, wants to know her husband’s feelings about it...

Husband? He wants to drive to Home Depot, buy the materials and tools he needs to fix the problem, and then fix it.

Wives, do you want your husband to listen to you? Then be quiet and listen to him. Not simply not talking while you are mentally constructing a response, but actually listening to him. He listens to you much more than you comprehend. Just because he doesn’t openly react or immediately call all his buddies because Macy’s overcharged you, doesn’t mean he isn’t listening.

Yes, he wants sex all the time. But he only wants sex with you. Please notice that fact.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hate to beat a dead horse but it really is sex. Men feel connected through sex, disconnected without it.

This is it. End of discussion.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hate to beat a dead horse but it really is sex. Men feel connected through sex, disconnected without it.

This is it. End of discussion.

So if your DH is not pursuing it with you, then how do you solve that? Try to get to the root cause of why he's not?

[Anonymous]

Men connect through sex.

Women connect through conversation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Men connect through sex.

Women connect through conversation.

I'm a 40yo divorced man and the sex disparity was a big reason for our divorce. (Also, sadly, the other big reason is that we could both afford it).

I've learned from reading this board that the above statement isn't entirely true and that there are wives out there with husbands who won't have sex with them.

[Anonymous]

I agree with all of the posters who talk about sex, but I'd also take note of how men interact with each other. When we socialize, it's not usually face to face talking about our feelings. There's almost a sideways, parallel play thing going on.

You chat more indirectly while watching a game or playing golf or bowling or whatever. So, even if sports isn't your thing, the suggestions about hiking or cooking together are good.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Men connect through sex.

Women connect through conversation.

... says the low drive woman

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes, sex is important for both sexes. Men aren’t robot orgasm sex fiends. Be the person in his life who truly listens, provides her perspective on any matter and knows when to let him chill.

And just get over the small stuff... he may never replace the TP and continue to pile large pizza boxes on top of an overflowing trash can or whatever it is that drives you nuts.

Hug him and be a catalyst for his sensitive side. Men typically have a hard time dealing with emotions that females easily navigate.

No. Men and women process emotions differently. Your assumption that the female way is "correct" and the male way is "incorrect"... is incorrect.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think he feels emotionally connected to me when we do things together. Cook, hike, sing, play sports, go to concerts, etc.

This. Add in just talking. DH is able to sort out work issues by talking things through with me. We talk about everything from silly stuff to deep things. DH isnt super emotional (then again neither am I) but we have a great emotional connection

Sing?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Men connect through sex.

Women connect through conversation.

... says the low drive woman

I’m a married guy. My wife and I have about the same amount of drive, which is nice because that hasn’t always been the case during our 18+ years together.

[Anonymous]

Sex is high on the list plus we do spend a good amount of time together. My DH is quite affectionate for a man so I often get a neck rub or a smooch. He's not a hand holder but I feel we are pretty connected.