My teen has been pressuring another girl to have sex

[Anonymous]

This is so serious. I'm concerned also that your daughter actually feels this way towards sex. Was she raped or abused? Your daughter needs to be in counseling and I do think you should change schools. She also needs to write a profound apology.

[Anonymous]

To the pp who said changing schools is a bit much please realize the power of these clicks and especially when they use social media to ban against someone. I would absolutely pull my kid from that scene and if it meant putting her in a school where she knew no one and had to start from scratch I would absolutely do it. Encouraging or harassing another girl into loosing her virginity goes way way beyond normal teenage mean girl stuff.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:To the pp who said changing schools is a bit much please realize the power of these clicks and especially when they use social media to ban against someone. I would absolutely pull my kid from that scene and if it meant putting her in a school where she knew no one and had to start from scratch I would absolutely do it. Encouraging or harassing another girl into loosing her virginity goes way way beyond normal teenage mean girl stuff.

I agree. And this is exactly what I would do if my sons/daughters were involved in gang behavior too. These are important years in development and this is a parent's one true power.

[Anonymous]

Please teach your daughter that she isn't free to ever tell people what to do with their bodies. If a male teenager went on social media and harassed a female to have sex there would be police involved. Your DD needs to learn boundaries, like now. I would have dd so far out of that school and most likely be sending her to my parents in the Midwest to start over where she knows not a soul.

[Anonymous]

From the title I totally thought this was going to be about your son pressuring a girl!

[Anonymous]

It was stupid but this is typical teenager behavior to encourage people to do bad things. Peer pressure comes into play also. Punish her and have her apologize, but this hardly seems like a reason to move schools.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:From the title I totally thought this was going to be about your son pressuring a girl!

Then the pitchforks would really be out in force!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You need to explain to your daughter that another young woman was recently found guilty in court for manslaughter over encouraging the suicide of another person when she was nowhere near the person, it was just using technology. It’s very serious. What your daughter is doing is basically encouraging a rape (assuming they’re underage).

No real suggestions here, but everything would be on the table for me to consider including changing schools, sending her into a program or even moving. Hopefully it’s not too late to set your daughter straight, but it will take huge commitment from you. Good luck.

Btw this girl got 15 months in jail for those texts and emails.
https://mobile.nytimes.com/2017/08/03/us/texting-suicide-sentence.html

[Anonymous]

Let me get this straight...are you saying that a young couple at their school was bragging to the other students about how they were going to lose their virginity together. The word got out until pretty much everyone at the school knew that these two were making big plans to lose their virginity together.

Your daughter and her friend started to egg on the girl and (I'm assuming) some of the guys were egging on the boy to have sex.

What probably started off as good natured ribbing turned into more forceful pressuring by your daughter and friends as they grew impatient for this girl to lose her virginity already.

Context is important and I would have to see how the girl was responding to these texts....was she going along with all of this or was she seriously being harassed in a mean spirited way by your daughter and her friends, Op?

[Anonymous]

This is harassment and I would encourage the other family to press charges. My teenage DD would be before a judge in no time if she acted like this. This isn't petty mean girl behavior, this is illegal. If the other family doesn't want to press charges I would look into a scared straight kind of program.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:According to my daughter the girl had made a public Snapchat about losing her virginity next weeked and was loving the attention the post got but then started to have second thoughts and people started pressuring her not to back out. My DD and this other girl were good but not great friends with this girl and joined in saying things like “don’t back out now or everyone is going to think you just did for attention.” I think my DD and the other girl were also enjoying the attention this situation brought and they went way to far with it all. I will absolutely make her personally apologize to this girl. I’m so disappointed in my DD, she’s always been kind, compassionate and very level headed until this horrible incident.
-op

o.k. your daughter was wrong for playing into this girl's game but, at the same time, this girl brought all of this attention onto herself by posting that stupid snapchat stuff in the first place.

It sounds like they were all egging each other to respond and what they said to each other got out of hand.

It's good that the other mom saw what was happening and put a speedy end to it. Your daughter should lose her phone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is harassment and I would encourage the other family to press charges. My teenage DD would be before a judge in no time if she acted like this. This isn't petty mean girl behavior, this is illegal. If the other family doesn't want to press charges I would look into a scared straight kind of program.

It's illegal to pressure someone about having sex? Wrong, sure, but pressing charges? Please cite a source of a law that would support this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It was stupid but this is typical teenager behavior to encourage people to do bad things. Peer pressure comes into play also. Punish her and have her apologize, but this hardly seems like a reason to move schools.

+1. And thank her mother for bringing this to your attention.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is harassment and I would encourage the other family to press charges. My teenage DD would be before a judge in no time if she acted like this. This isn't petty mean girl behavior, this is illegal. If the other family doesn't want to press charges I would look into a scared straight kind of program.

It's illegal to pressure someone about having sex? Wrong, sure, but pressing charges? Please cite a source of a law that would support this.

If it became harassment the parents can turn the text messages over to the police who can determine if they want to press charges. They absolutely can be prosecuted.

[Anonymous]

This is cyber-bullying. She needs to recognize it as such and be punished appropriately.

She also needs to realize that:
1. social media posts can follow you around for your first college and job applications,
2. there is such a thing as statutory rape
3. The other family could SUE her, and her early adulthood could be ruined by this.