Brother behavior-why so bad together??

[Anonymous]

I don’t think OP was making it a girl/boy thing, just setting the stage for their house. We do separation and time outs, but that doesn’t always seem to work. We have so little time together after school/work/sports/activities that it is frustrating they can’t get along.

[Anonymous]

I think siblings of any gender can fight agressively, however, I do think in general this type of behavior is more common with two boys. I have three children, a DS and a set of boy/girl twins two years younger. The two boys are end up rolling on the ground with each other at least once a day, however, this never happens with the bg twins, or with my older son and daughter. I never fought physically with my sister, my husband is an only child, and there are only female cousins, so it's not learned behavior.

[Anonymous]

7yo and 10yo. Best friends until they're trying to kill each other. Even when they're friends, though, they're rowdy and out of control. When they're together it's constant competition -- who gets in the van first, who got more TV time, blowing each others stuff up in Minecraft, farting on each other and being generally gross. They do both have ADHD, which means lower impulse control, but when they're separate they are perfectly behaved.

[Anonymous]

Yes, it's normal. My two are 17 months apart, and I swear it gets worse as they get older. The insults (and all the giggling on both sides afterwards :roll, the competition, the tattling, and on and on. My kids aren't super physical, the fighting is probably 90% verbal.

They are sweet a pie when there is just one of them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Who are these people that derail every thread where someone mentions having a male child in order to insist that there are no differences between boys and girls? I was just on a thread in the decorating forum the other day where this happened. It's bizarre.

2nd PP: "Boys. It's what they do." Who are these people that derail every thread where someone mentions having a male child in order to insist that negative behavior is boy-specific and never appears in girls?

Why do you need to label the behavior as negative?

[Anonymous]

Oh reading this thread makes me feel better. I thought I must be the worst mom on earth not being able to raise my 3 monkeys, 5, 9 and 12. My 2nd is a boy, he makes it his mission to annoy his sister intentionally or unintentionally. And then there are all the tattle telling, why can she does this but I cannot. When he is not annoying his sister, he is rough playing with his younger brother. All the I don't mean to hit him and it is an accident. The older child will also purposely disturb the youngest or distract him. The older child now reach a stage that she wants more privacy and hates being spied on. Hence all the shouting and whining in the house. I have them eat at different tables, work at different corners. In car rides, they sit on different row. I am always so embarrassed by their behavior when all of us are out together. Individually they are just the sweetest kids who are bright and charming. Together they are just monsters that I want to disowned them!!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Oh reading this thread makes me feel better. I thought I must be the worst mom on earth not being able to raise my 3 monkeys, 5, 9 and 12. My 2nd is a boy, he makes it his mission to annoy his sister intentionally or unintentionally. And then there are all the tattle telling, why can she does this but I cannot. When he is not annoying his sister, he is rough playing with his younger brother. All the I don't mean to hit him and it is an accident. The older child will also purposely disturb the youngest or distract him. The older child now reach a stage that she wants more privacy and hates being spied on. Hence all the shouting and whining in the house. I have them eat at different tables, work at different corners. In car rides, they sit on different row. I am always so embarrassed by their behavior when all of us are out together. Individually they are just the sweetest kids who are bright and charming. Together they are just monsters that I want to disowned them!!!

PP above. I want to add that I at time really envy those parents of only child who do not need to deal with all these sibling dynamics!!

[Anonymous]

YEs yes yes to this being our normal too. I have 3 (all boys). The 2 older ones are 4 and 5.5 and the FIGHT all the TIME. Maddening.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Who are these people that derail every thread where someone mentions having a male child in order to insist that there are no differences between boys and girls? I was just on a thread in the decorating forum the other day where this happened. It's bizarre.

2nd PP: "Boys. It's what they do." Who are these people that derail every thread where someone mentions having a male child in order to insist that negative behavior is boy-specific and never appears in girls?

Why do you need to label the behavior as negative?

...because OP made a post complaining about it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Who are these people that derail every thread where someone mentions having a male child in order to insist that there are no differences between boys and girls? I was just on a thread in the decorating forum the other day where this happened. It's bizarre.

2nd PP: "Boys. It's what they do." Who are these people that derail every thread where someone mentions having a male child in order to insist that negative behavior is boy-specific and never appears in girls?

Why do you need to label the behavior as negative?

...because OP made a post complaining about it.

Right. But then the second poster tried to normalize this behavior because it's what boys do, and this pissed you off. Why?

[Anonymous]

OP, do you like everyone? Get along with everyone .. want to spend time with everyone? Of course not. Do not assume, just because they are children, that they don't have limits on how much time they can be together, happily. You don't have to inconvenience yourself, don't have to, but know that doing things with them separately will have some them benefits.

[Anonymous]

All I can say, is you have my sympathy and I totally relate. I have a 5yo and 3yo boy-girl and it is pretty constant. They'll play for 5 minutes then girl always ends up in tears or screaming, boy doing something to annoy her. Sometimes it's vice-versa. The one time they don't fight is when they gang up to do something naughty together or talk potty language and laugh so ridiculously hard at each other's potty jokes --- I often don't intervene because it's so rare to see them not fighting!!

[Anonymous]

I can totally relate, too. I'm an only child, and honestly, this has been a total adjustment for me. I anticipated it, but not to the degree it is, and I actually don't think my kids fight much compared to some kids I see. It's just not something that I had any familiarity with because I didn't grow up with it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My boys are 6 & 9 and this is my life! They start first thing in the morning and wake everyone like an alarm clock. I have a girl as well and I will say there IS a different dynamic to the boy's play and it's so hard to turn off the rowdiness sometimes. I cannot sign them up for the same camps because they won't leave each other alone.

...if you had 2 girls you would not be saying this. I have 2 and 2 and agree with PP, it's a sibling thing

Do your girls generally go from hugs to punching/wrestling in the drop of a hat?

I had all sisters. Sisters get verbally aggressive.

I have all boys in a neighborhood of boys. Brothers get physically aggressive.



There is a difference.

[Anonymous]

My boys are 20 and 15. And they are still at this, god help me.