Mother's day - nudge the husband or risk disapointment?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you really need a parade and balloons for mother’s day?

Sorry, as a mother I don’t understand the “risk disappointment” part. If your life is that challenging, it’s up to you, not your husband, to change it, and not for one day.

Wow, you must be a way better mom than OP, since you don't care about Mother's Day!

I’m not a better mother, I just choose not to get bent out of shape over Hallmark Holidays. And by doing so, I don’t “risk disappointment”, and thus have no need to be sad, or disappointed, on a beautiful Sunday in May.

You are not the arbiter for what people get to consider important and feel disappointed about, PP. If it's important to her that her husband do something special for Mother's Day.

I agree that it's silly for the PP who is newly pregnant to expect a parade for Mother's Day this year, but if that's what is important to her, her husband should do something. PPs should feel free to be rude, but her husband, who loves her enough to impregnate her, should react differently.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I nudged my husband but I'm newly pregnant with our first, so he could be forgiven for not thinking to recognize the holiday. What did your DH do last year? Has he dropped the ball on Mother's Day before?

You're not a mother.

Yeah, huge eyeroll here. Of course it would be fine and cute for your husband to celebrate mother's day with you, but the idea that you decided to push him for recognition when you're just newly pregnant? Come on.

Well, congratulations on being a garbage person. We tried for a long time and are very excited to be expecting. He'll get recognition on Father's Day too, and you can continue to be garbage then. Go on.

Not the PP, but the "you don't agree with me so you're garbage" is a bit overplayed these days.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I nudged my husband but I'm newly pregnant with our first, so he could be forgiven for not thinking to recognize the holiday. What did your DH do last year? Has he dropped the ball on Mother's Day before?

You're not a mother.

Yeah, huge eyeroll here. Of course it would be fine and cute for your husband to celebrate mother's day with you, but the idea that you decided to push him for recognition when you're just newly pregnant? Come on.

Well, congratulations on being a garbage person. We tried for a long time and are very excited to be expecting. He'll get recognition on Father's Day too, and you can continue to be garbage then. Go on.

Not the PP, but the "you don't agree with me so you're garbage" is a bit overplayed these days.

No, telling someone she's not a mother makes you garbage. It's not about agreeing, it's about basic decency.

[Anonymous]

Nudge for sure!! I have been married for 13 years and I know better!!

[Anonymous]

Why does everyone who doesn't care about Mother's Day jump to "you want a parade" for the women who do? The hyperbole is unnecessary. OP might want a card or to go to brunch.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I nudged my husband but I'm newly pregnant with our first, so he could be forgiven for not thinking to recognize the holiday. What did your DH do last year? Has he dropped the ball on Mother's Day before?

You're not a mother.

Yeah, huge eyeroll here. Of course it would be fine and cute for your husband to celebrate mother's day with you, but the idea that you decided to push him for recognition when you're just newly pregnant? Come on.

Well, congratulations on being a garbage person. We tried for a long time and are very excited to be expecting. He'll get recognition on Father's Day too, and you can continue to be garbage then. Go on.

Not the PP, but the "you don't agree with me so you're garbage" is a bit overplayed these days.

No, telling someone she's not a mother makes you garbage. It's not about agreeing, it's about basic decency.

I have no skin in this particular game, but there is valid reason to disagree on the definition of "mother". Many would argue that you have to give birth. If that's not your definition fine, but it's not an invalid definition.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I nudged my husband but I'm newly pregnant with our first, so he could be forgiven for not thinking to recognize the holiday. What did your DH do last year? Has he dropped the ball on Mother's Day before?

You're not a mother.

Yeah, huge eyeroll here. Of course it would be fine and cute for your husband to celebrate mother's day with you, but the idea that you decided to push him for recognition when you're just newly pregnant? Come on.

Well, congratulations on being a garbage person. We tried for a long time and are very excited to be expecting. He'll get recognition on Father's Day too, and you can continue to be garbage then. Go on.

Not the PP, but the "you don't agree with me so you're garbage" is a bit overplayed these days.

No, telling someone she's not a mother makes you garbage. It's not about agreeing, it's about basic decency.

I have no skin in this particular game, but there is valid reason to disagree on the definition of "mother". Many would argue that you have to give birth. If that's not your definition fine, but it's not an invalid definition.

You can have a different definition for yourself, sure. It's shitty behavior to push it on someone else, especially the way PP did to disparage someone who was clearly excited. I wonder if she tells women whose kids have died that they can't celebrate Mother's Day? Women who've experienced a miscarriage or stillbirth? Be better, people.

[Anonymous]

Expectations are future disappointments.

[Anonymous]

If it’s important to you, remind him. I don’t care about these made up occasions so I wouldn’t care and wouldn’t be disappointed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you really need a parade and balloons for mother’s day?

Sorry, as a mother I don’t understand the “risk disappointment” part. If your life is that challenging, it’s up to you, not your husband, to change it, and not for one day.

Wow, you must be a way better mom than OP, since you don't care about Mother's Day!

I’m not a better mother, I just choose not to get bent out of shape over Hallmark Holidays. And by doing so, I don’t “risk disappointment”, and thus have no need to be sad, or disappointed, on a beautiful Sunday in May.

You are not the arbiter for what people get to consider important and feel disappointed about, PP. If it's important to her that her husband do something special for Mother's Day.

I agree that it's silly for the PP who is newly pregnant to expect a parade for Mother's Day this year, but if that's what is important to her, her husband should do something. PPs should feel free to be rude, but her husband, who loves her enough to impregnate her, should react differently.

To be fair it sounded like that PP was impregnated by a medical professional rather than her husband.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I nudged my husband but I'm newly pregnant with our first, so he could be forgiven for not thinking to recognize the holiday. What did your DH do last year? Has he dropped the ball on Mother's Day before?

You're not a mother.

Yeah, huge eyeroll here. Of course it would be fine and cute for your husband to celebrate mother's day with you, but the idea that you decided to push him for recognition when you're just newly pregnant? Come on.

Well, congratulations on being a garbage person. We tried for a long time and are very excited to be expecting. He'll get recognition on Father's Day too, and you can continue to be garbage then. Go on.

Not the PP, but the "you don't agree with me so you're garbage" is a bit overplayed these days.

No, telling someone she's not a mother makes you garbage. It's not about agreeing, it's about basic decency.

I have no skin in this particular game, but there is valid reason to disagree on the definition of "mother". Many would argue that you have to give birth. If that's not your definition fine, but it's not an invalid definition.

You can have a different definition for yourself, sure. It's shitty behavior to push it on someone else, especially the way PP did to disparage someone who was clearly excited. I wonder if she tells women whose kids have died that they can't celebrate Mother's Day? Women who've experienced a miscarriage or stillbirth? Be better, people.

Exactly! She is newly pregnant, over the moon probably and will be a mother so what’s the big deal about celebrating in that context?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I nudged my husband but I'm newly pregnant with our first, so he could be forgiven for not thinking to recognize the holiday. What did your DH do last year? Has he dropped the ball on Mother's Day before?

You're not a mother.

Yeah, huge eyeroll here. Of course it would be fine and cute for your husband to celebrate mother's day with you, but the idea that you decided to push him for recognition when you're just newly pregnant? Come on.

Well, congratulations on being a garbage person. We tried for a long time and are very excited to be expecting. He'll get recognition on Father's Day too, and you can continue to be garbage then. Go on.

It seems like he's not THAT excited if you had to remind him about Mother's Day. Just saying.

[Anonymous]

Be clear about what you want. Grow up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you really need a parade and balloons for mother’s day?

Sorry, as a mother I don’t understand the “risk disappointment” part. If your life is that challenging, it’s up to you, not your husband, to change it, and not for one day.

Wow, you must be a way better mom than OP, since you don't care about Mother's Day!

I’m not a better mother, I just choose not to get bent out of shape over Hallmark Holidays. And by doing so, I don’t “risk disappointment”, and thus have no need to be sad, or disappointed, on a beautiful Sunday in May.

You are not the arbiter for what people get to consider important and feel disappointed about, PP. If it's important to her that her husband do something special for Mother's Day.

I agree that it's silly for the PP who is newly pregnant to expect a parade for Mother's Day this year, but if that's what is important to her, her husband should do something. PPs should feel free to be rude, but her husband, who loves her enough to impregnate her, should react differently.

To be fair it sounded like that PP was impregnated by a medical professional rather than her husband.

PP here: Bad guess, but way to try to take a snarky dig at people who need ART! Some genuinely unhappy people on these forums.

[Anonymous]

Some people like a big noisy fuss and other people don't. Me, I'm all about the fuss. I'd like balloons and a parade for my birthday. My husband is also a horrible holiday person so mostly I just buy myself something really awesome for each holiday, wrap it up and hand it to him to give to me. Works for us. He has great taste in purses since he always gets me a great one.