Husband has wanted kids for 12 years, puts in no effort to have kids

[Anonymous]

OP, it sounds like you are not listening to what he is telling you. Acdept it, or divorce and move on.

[Anonymous]

So how does he or you think babies are made?

[Anonymous]

Something is up. He certainly knows that kids will not happen unless sperm meets egg. Maybe finish into the instead softcup and insert?

https://www.amazon.com/Softcup-14-Disposable-Menstrual-Discs/dp/B000X29GY6/ref=sr_1_3_a_it?ie=UTF8&qid=1524691533&sr=8-3&keywords=instead+softcup

[Anonymous]

He doesn’t really want kids. If he talks about it in front of your friends and family it’s a show. By now, he’s at the point where life is good and likely pretty easy and he doesn’t want that to change. Facts.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This seems very sad to me.
Maybe try saying, "It might have happened when it happens if we had actually been having vaginal intercourse during my prime childbearing years. At this point, since I am nearing the end of those years and we are not even having any vaginal intercourse, I need for you to STOP SAYING THAT and start making plans with me for how it is actually going to happen. The years of seeing what would happen are behind us. If you will not participate with me in vaginal intercourse, then I would ask you to go to a fertility clinic and put it in a cup and they will put it into my vagina for you. And if you will not do that, then I will ask you to understand if I go to the fertility clinic on my own and get some donor sperm. Time is running out. Let's make babies, one way or another - take your pick, but let's do it!"

You can't actually do that while you're married unless your husband consents. Believe me, I checked. Use of any donor material by the married couple will require consent from both.

Or completely negate his responsibility to support and/or pay for the child's care.

[Anonymous]

OP, suggest to your husband that you both go straight to a fertility clinic and do IUI or even IVF. No PIV needed. If he still drags his feet then he is not serious about kids and you should think hard before your clock runs out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There was a very long thread here a couple years ago with a similar theme. It was surprisingly common issue (to the shock of many). In that case, the man couldn't finish inside and she was encouraged to have him use a cup and she would then have something she could work with (using her diaphragm as a delivery device). The end result is that she did get pregnant. Because of your age, it may take longer and more tries to get pregnant so you should see if you can come up with some method to get the swimmers where they need to be.

Is there an issue where he can’t finish inside and doesn’t want to confront this fact? Because any other time not getting pregnant that way would be great, except when you want to get pregnant. Also, is he worried the sexual issues will get worse once you have kid(s)? It seems like it’s stringing you along for what could be (assuming you want kids) but once you have kids you may be dissatisfied/look elsewhere for the rest.

[Anonymous]

there may very well be a psychological component to this if he is failing to finish in the right spot/location. if you broach the subject to visit a fertility specialist etc and he doesn't budge then he may simply "just doing the talk and not wanting to do the walk".. but whatever you decide you better do it quickly... tick tock tick tock. unfortunately time is not a woman's companion when it comes to having kids..men can have them anytime well into their 90's IJS

[Anonymous]

I guess he wanted it to happen nationally. I know several couples who don't have kids because it didn't happen and they felt that doing fertility treatments would be wrong (aka why go against nature) and they didn't want to adopt.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I guess he wanted it to happen nationally. I know several couples who don't have kids because it didn't happen and they felt that doing fertility treatments would be wrong (aka why go against nature) and they didn't want to adopt.

Naturally

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I guess he wanted it to happen nationally. I know several couples who don't have kids because it didn't happen and they felt that doing fertility treatments would be wrong (aka why go against nature) and they didn't want to adopt.

Did you read the OP? Her husband is not engaging in activities that will allow contraception to happen naturally.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He doesn’t really want kids. If he talks about it in front of your friends and family it’s a show. By now, he’s at the point where life is good and likely pretty easy and he doesn’t want that to change. Facts.

I have seen a few guys that string their wives or girlfriends along in this manner until their fertility runs out.

Unless he his finishing somewhere that might be mixed with other bacteria carrying fluids, you can simply stick your finger in his semen and insert it in you. The little swimmers are quite fast and will know what to do. There are all kinds of resources on self insemination. You might also get a fertility workup at your doctor's office, a reproductive endocrinologist is best. You do not need his consent to do this.

If this fells, there's always a Tinder date.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Does this sound like a person you really want to have kids with?

+1. Guy sounds like a sadist or a moron. Does he know where to put his pee-pee?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I guess he wanted it to happen nationally. I know several couples who don't have kids because it didn't happen and they felt that doing fertility treatments would be wrong (aka why go against nature) and they didn't want to adopt.

Did you read the OP? Her husband is not engaging in activities that will allow contraception to happen naturally.

For 20+ years?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I guess he wanted it to happen nationally. I know several couples who don't have kids because it didn't happen and they felt that doing fertility treatments would be wrong (aka why go against nature) and they didn't want to adopt.

Did you read the OP? Her husband is not engaging in activities that will allow contraception to happen naturally.

For 20+ years?

For 10 years (seriously, it's all in the OP).