My kid is considering dropping out of TJ and taking the GED

[Anonymous]

I would listen to her - and create a plan that works for your family. Maybe it is - for the month of May, but you agree that 3 days a week she can dismiss at noon. Be creative and think through what works.

Imagine if you hated work - you got that pit in your stomach every morning. What would your friends tell you to do?

I have friends who did a semester in non-traditional ways and they are some fabulous people who understand that there are many ways to approach life.

How great that your daughter and you have the relationship that you can talk through this. Given the stress at high schools today, I applaud you having those lines of communication open.

[Anonymous]

I am sure I would have suggested such a scheme at 15 and been very serious about it as well. But then again, I didn't have the benefit of adult experience to really understand or know what the effects might be.
If it was my child, I would say base school or if I could afford it private school.

[Anonymous]

How about Youth For Understanding
https://www.yfuusa.org/study/high-school-programs/

YFU study abroad programs are for you if you’re a U.S. high school student or recent graduate and want to experience another part of the world. Choose from a year, semester, summer program ... learn a new language and live with a host family who will open their home and hearts to you.

[Anonymous]

I don't think homeschooling in VA is all that hard to do. You might want to do a quick search on that. Depending on who her counselor is you may not get much help. I would reach out to the college/career counselor. I'd also check with the registrar at TJ and/or FCPS to see what requirements exist. Basically gather more facts for an informed decision.

[Anonymous]

Does she not have any interest in accessing the upper level courses that are unique to TJ and the senior labs? She has done the prerequisites but not getting to the specialized stuff.

I agree that it is great that she is talking to you about this and don’t actually think her plan is bad unless she ends up sitting around doing nothing productive with her year or more off. Agree study abroad might excite her. Is she a very self-motivated learner? She might do cool things at home while being unschooled. I doubt her base school would be the right place.

What about the Mary Washington early college program? I feel like I’ve heard some kids do that. I know other kids have left TJ after 10th and just gone to regular college. I have also heard of at least k e sophomore at a different high school take the GED and leave after 10th. I believe she had internships lined up.

Oh, I’ve also heard that the Davidson Institute has opened an online high school. That might work for her.

Good luck to you both.

[Anonymous]

I think it’s good that she feels she can make it through the end of the year. If you can afford it, I would definitely look at local privates who would accept in 11th (very limited) as well as partial or fully online programs. Stanford online, etc. i would push for an actual diploma with 4 years of full credits. A GED and a 1510 would not be enough to prove college readiness.

Did she like 9th grade? How are things socially? Does she enjoy extracurriculats? Is she seeing s therapist? I would tell her that she has options, and provide a relaxing and healthy summer. Junior year is so hard, not just at TJ. Have her sign on for the easiest load possible now, and work on reasonable options.

[Anonymous]

Op, You do not want to allow an environment where she is more of an outliner. Do not home school. That makes it even harder to find friends, feel connected, be happy. I was the one who suggested Youth for Understanding because, even though it's a drastically different environment, it offers her a community. Do not home school. Do not remove her from her peers. That is very unhealthy. If she remains at TJ/ or base school, I would concentrate on getting her invested in something other than academics -- sports team, drama, some type of group activity, and in order to make the transition, let this be a primary focus for her instead of academics, at least until she finds a peer community she cares about.

[Anonymous]

Sounds like she is experiencing a high level burn out and not even feeling like she can handle base school. Give her a relaxing summer and talk her into trying base school, not TJ. I am sure she would find base school much easier.

[Anonymous]

How about boarding school?

[Anonymous]

OP,

Just wondering how the child appeared for the SAT?. Did she register for the test on her own, drove to the test site, prepared for the test etc.. all without your help or knowledge all along??

Or is it the case that you were OK with the plan for some time and now second guessing yourself and seeking help on this forum to validate your plan?

[Anonymous]

My younger sister did something similar. The local community college had a two-year program for high schoolers that allowed them to finish with a GED and an associates degree. My sis took a year or two off and then transferred to UC Berkeley after she finished the program. She got her BA, then took some more time off. She went back to grad school, just finished an architecture degree, and landed a sweet job.

It worked for her. She was smart and driven, but also very passionate. High school was sucking the life out of her, and she did much better once she was on her own path.

[Anonymous]

Is she into tech or engineering? Clarkson offers a final year of high school program called the Clarkson School where you earn your high school diploma while taking college classes. My suspicion is that she'd find the program to be much more chill than taking a bazillion APs and trying to keep up with ECs while at TJ. There are also lots of opportunities to work on engineering design projects, if that's something she would enjoy. Lots of Clarkson School grads go on to top schools, while others find their niche at Clarkson and stay for 4 years.

Whether or not this is the right program for her, it would be useful to help her expand her options. There has to be something that would be better than a GED with no real plan for the future.

[Anonymous]

OP--I was one of the first kids to go through Blair. By the early 11th, I was done. I was burnt out and just could not do it any more. I met with my guidance counselor and I dropped from magnet to regular classes, not even honors.

I supplemented by taking classes at MC. Regular classes, given my previous academic classes, were a joke. It required nothing from me, but to show up and sit quietly. I was able to socially remain a HS but I had none of the pressure. MC was pretty easy as well. It was good for me and allowed me to resume academic studies at a normal pace as a freshman in college.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP,

Just wondering how the child appeared for the SAT?. Did she register for the test on her own, drove to the test site, prepared for the test etc.. all without your help or knowledge all along??

Or is it the case that you were OK with the plan for some time and now second guessing yourself and seeking help on this forum to validate your plan?

OP here. Honestly, she did the entire thing on her own. Walked to the base high school and took the test. Apparently, she did a few sample tests, realized she could handle this on her own and used her own money to sign up for the test. I wasn't even in the loop until she sat me down with this crazy idea.

The issue is definitely burn out. She's tired and I completely get it. She's in therapy to manage this and over the course of this year basically pulled out of school completely. She goes to school, studies tons, and then basically spaces out watching E! or reading for fun/writing in her journal. She has some friends but doesn't feel a strong connection to anyone. She's close to her siblings (one older and one younger).

She just kept saying that she's can't imagine another two years of high school and doesn't see the point. She hates the rigidity, she wants the flexibility to learn at her own pace and learn "out in the world instead of yet another concrete classroom."

I have been researching a lot of the online options. One thing I am running into is trying to take TJ's weird courses and have them apply to other school's requirements. It's going to take a bit of doing. I am also looking into the year abroad option. I am hoping to find something that isn't DD getting a GED and working retail for a year while she's applying to colleges.

[Anonymous]

OP, your kid sounds smart, well thought out with a flair for some emotional drama. If you try to fit a smart kid into a normal bucket and measure them against regular standards, they will suffer. Most suffer in silence. Your child is at least bringing this to your attention.

None of us on the board can make an accurate assessment of your child though many PP's have suggested good questions. That's your responsibility as a parent.

This can't be the first time your child has mentioned their dissatisfaction with school. What did you say those other times? Did you formulate a plan with your spouse on how to address this? It sounds as if you and your spouse did not come up with a plan so your smart child came up with a plan on their own.

Help your child think through the consequences and if you and your spouse are ill equipped to come up with a plan, brainstorm a solution with your child and see if there is something that you all can agree on.