If you were 32+..

Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:Op here. Definitely best relationships I’ve been in, and I know she’s it for me. We have discussed marriage and kids many times, but I have never said I was going to propose by X time. We both want 1-2 kids and want to hopefully have them by 40.



How much do you make and what kind of ring? I would only say yes if it was 2+ carats and expensive.
Anonymous
Met at 32 (he was 36). Engaged 1 year later, married two years to the day after our first date.

Babies at 37, 29, 40, and 42 (add 4 years for hom). No ART. Miscarriage at 36.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Op here. Definitely best relationships I’ve been in, and I know she’s it for me. We have discussed marriage and kids many times, but I have never said I was going to propose by X time. We both want 1-2 kids and want to hopefully have them by 40.



How much do you make and what kind of ring? I would only say yes if it was 2+ carats and expensive.


+1.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Op here. Definitely best relationships I’ve been in, and I know she’s it for me. We have discussed marriage and kids many times, but I have never said I was going to propose by X time. We both want 1-2 kids and want to hopefully have them by 40.



How much do you make and what kind of ring? I would only say yes if it was 2+ carats and expensive.


Golddigger.
Anonymous
Started dating at 28, moved in together at 29, got engaged and bought a home at 33, got married at 34, kids at 36 and 38.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:Started dating at 28, moved in together at 29, got engaged and bought a home at 33, got married at 34, kids at 36 and 38.


Just FYI, if I had been older, when we started dating I would not have waited 4 years after moving in together for him to propose.
Anonymous
Married at 32, got divorced, and married at 38
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:How long did it take you to become engaged/married ( once you found a partner) and have a child? Did you feel the need to rush with the older age or take it slowly?


At 32, it is easier to figure out if the relationship has legs. It shouldn't take years at each stage. So 6 months of dating exclusively, intentionally and several times a week (with at least one vacation together), I would consider engagement. Marriage could be 6 months later. I would wait one year before starting try to have children. You want one year under your belt, it is enough time for the party manners to fall and get into a more normal lifestyle. DH and I moved in together after engagement and that helped us figure out that we were compatible in closer quarters.

I was 30 when we married and DH was 33. I was the youngest in my family to marry. My parents were 32 and 33 (Mom was 33) and my sister was 34 when she married. All of us had children in the end of the second year of marriage. My parents were married 50+ years and my sister and I are at 21 and 24 and counting.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Op here. Definitely best relationships I’ve been in, and I know she’s it for me. We have discussed marriage and kids many times, but I have never said I was going to propose by X time. We both want 1-2 kids and want to hopefully have them by 40.



How much do you make and what kind of ring? I would only say yes if it was 2+ carats and expensive.


Far too showy for me. YMMV
Anonymous
It is not too soon if you feel sure OP. DH and I got engaged 13 months after our first date, and were married 10 months later. We just celebrated our 30th anniversary.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:Op here. I have been dating my girlfriend for almost a year. She is 32 and I’m 34. We have been talking about marriage and kids for a while now. She hasn’t given a timeline to get married, but I’m ready. I want to propose, but have worry a year is too soon. You hear from everyone saying date 2-3 years before making a commitment, but I don’t think that’s necessary. My girlfriend said she wanted to be engaged or married by 34, and have a baby between 35-37. I love her and know she is right for me, and so is the timing. I want the proposal to be a surprise, so I don’t want to explicitly ask if she’s ready to marry me.


Many women will not wait two to three years. One year to eighteen months is the sweet spot imho. If you're ready to ask at a year, ask.
Anonymous
Doesn’t sound like you are in love or you wouldn’t be posting this. No point of staying in a loveless marriage.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:Doesn’t sound like you are in love or you wouldn’t be posting this. No point of staying in a loveless marriage.


Not true. Plenty of people are highly analytical and have trouble making a lifelong commitment given that it's impossible to know what the future will bring.

Having said that, OP, you sound very ready to me. Take the plunge. Marriage is fun. Kids are fun.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Op here. I have been dating my girlfriend for almost a year. She is 32 and I’m 34. We have been talking about marriage and kids for a while now. She hasn’t given a timeline to get married, but I’m ready. I want to propose, but have worry a year is too soon. You hear from everyone saying date 2-3 years before making a commitment, but I don’t think that’s necessary. My girlfriend said she wanted to be engaged or married by 34, and have a baby between 35-37. I love her and know she is right for me, and so is the timing. I want the proposal to be a surprise, so I don’t want to explicitly ask if she’s ready to marry me.


Many women will not wait two to three years. One year to eighteen months is the sweet spot imho. If you're ready to ask at a year, ask.


In my head I gave my DH one year to propose and that was after about six months of dating. I had known him for a few years before we got together so I didn't feel it was too soon.

Anonymous
I got engaged to my first husband after 1 year. I sort of felt like it was the thing to do because almost all of our friends were married. We got along great but there wasn’t much of a sexual spark at all.

Divorced at 34.

Started dating current DH also at 34, engaged at 36, remarried at 38. (He is 10 years younger than me.) I’m very glad we took it slower. I’m crazy about him and the spark has never died off. I didn’t feel a rush to get engaged or married because I just knew it was right. But, neither of us wants kid either, so we’re a little different.
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