If you were 32+..

[Anonymous]

How long did it take you to become engaged/married ( once you found a partner) and have a child? Did you feel the need to rush with the older age or take it slowly?

[Anonymous]

I’m 32 and have been with someone for 6 months. We just moved in together. We see an engagement within 6-12 months (I know, it’s less romantic to discuss it but it’s come up in conversation when discussing the future). So maybe a tad quicker than ‘normal’, but maybe not.

I’ve unfortunately learned that anything can happen, though, so I’m not basing my life around this at the moment.

[Anonymous]

Dating at 32, married just about a year later. Due to circumstances we won't try for kids for another year or two, but we are just going to have one.

My biggest advice:
Don't waste time
Don't try to make it work when it isn't working
Move on immediately if he seems unable to commit

[Anonymous]

It is not an enviable position, particularly if you know you want kids. If you're 8 or so months in and don't feel comfortable discussing the idea of marriage, move on. You want to find a compatible partner, but you don't have all the time in the world

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Dating at 32, married just about a year later. Due to circumstances we won't try for kids for another year or two, but we are just going to have one.

My biggest advice:
Don't waste time
Don't try to make it work when it isn't working
Move on immediately if he seems unable to commit

+1 Great advice. I was 33 and met a wonderful guy but decided it was "one year and done". We've been married 12 years.

[Anonymous]

Met "The One" at 36; Engaged 37; Married 38; IVF39, Pregnant 41.

Assume after you meet him that it will be around five years until you hold a baby (if you are lucky. For us anyway it felt like quite a hurried pace. Wish we had longer amount of time together without trying for kids.)

[Anonymous]

Met at 34, married a couple days before I turned 37, first kid 11 months later (month before I turned 38), kid #2 at 39.

[Anonymous]

Met her at 34 (she was 36). Married a year later. Two children, now 15 & 13.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Met at 34, married a couple days before I turned 37, first kid 11 months later (month before I turned 38), kid #2 at 39.

I should add that yes, I did feel rushed to get pregnant, but it happened on the first try both times.

[Anonymous]

Op here. I have been dating my girlfriend for almost a year. She is 32 and I’m 34. We have been talking about marriage and kids for a while now. She hasn’t given a timeline to get married, but I’m ready. I want to propose, but have worry a year is too soon. You hear from everyone saying date 2-3 years before making a commitment, but I don’t think that’s necessary. My girlfriend said she wanted to be engaged or married by 34, and have a baby between 35-37. I love her and know she is right for me, and so is the timing. I want the proposal to be a surprise, so I don’t want to explicitly ask if she’s ready to marry me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here. I have been dating my girlfriend for almost a year. She is 32 and I’m 34. We have been talking about marriage and kids for a while now. She hasn’t given a timeline to get married, but I’m ready. I want to propose, but have worry a year is too soon. You hear from everyone saying date 2-3 years before making a commitment, but I don’t think that’s necessary. My girlfriend said she wanted to be engaged or married by 34, and have a baby between 35-37. I love her and know she is right for me, and so is the timing. I want the proposal to be a surprise, so I don’t want to explicitly ask if she’s ready to marry me.

Not too soon at all at your ages. I think you should definitely bring up marriage. The proposal itself can still be a surprise.

[Anonymous]

Sorry OP - I assumed you were a woman!

My husband knew probably for a while but told me at 6 months he wanted to get married. Took him another 3 months to ask. He was nervous like you that it was too short. We've been married a few months now and it's honestly only gotten better. At 32 when you meet the person you click with, you know it. Is this the best relationship you've been in? Can you see life with her? Don't hesitate, go for it

[Anonymous]

Met at 32, married at 35, kid #1 at 36, trying for #2 now at 39. We got lucky so far. You do have to focus at that age...and btw I don't know any married couples who did not discuss engagement, marriage and kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here. I have been dating my girlfriend for almost a year. She is 32 and I’m 34. We have been talking about marriage and kids for a while now. She hasn’t given a timeline to get married, but I’m ready. I want to propose, but have worry a year is too soon. You hear from everyone saying date 2-3 years before making a commitment, but I don’t think that’s necessary. My girlfriend said she wanted to be engaged or married by 34, and have a baby between 35-37. I love her and know she is right for me, and so is the timing. I want the proposal to be a surprise, so I don’t want to explicitly ask if she’s ready to marry me.

Wait until you're beyond the one year mark and then go for it. At your age (and hers), you don't need to dally around. If you know she and the timing are right, then that's 90% of it.

Oh, and by the way, you'll still have to work to build a successful marriage, just like all of us!

Good luck, OP.

[Anonymous]

Op here. Definitely best relationships I’ve been in, and I know she’s it for me. We have discussed marriage and kids many times, but I have never said I was going to propose by X time. We both want 1-2 kids and want to hopefully have them by 40.