People who interrupt

[Anonymous]

Op here, I appreciate you all who admit to being interrupters. Please know that people who talk more slowly or less still want to be heard, and it is unfair for you to cut them off. What you have to say is not more important just because you are louder or more excited. Just do your best to TRY, since you know you are doing it, especially if someone has already pointed out "I wasnt done yet."

[Anonymous]

Another poster. I do this as well, it is a symptom of impulsiveness due to ADHD. I don’t take meds late at night, sometimes they wear off...it is hard.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here, I appreciate you all who admit to being interrupters. Please know that people who talk more slowly or less still want to be heard, and it is unfair for you to cut them off. What you have to say is not more important just because you are louder or more excited. Just do your best to TRY, since you know you are doing it, especially if someone has already pointed out "I wasnt done yet."

Hi, OP, I also hate to be interrupted. I have a slight drawl so maybe I speak slower than people from the North? However, instead of saying "I wasn't done yet", I just look down, wait until the interrupter is done interrupting, look back up and restart my sentence (or paragraph) from the beginning. After a couple of interruptions, the interrupter starts to bite their tongue and somehow manages to be polite enough to let me finish what I was saying. And, yes, I mean it that I start from the beginning every time.

While you're being interrupted and restarting, don't look aggravated, just keep smiling like you know they'll get with the program soon enough. Works like a charm!

Good luck with your MIL and count your blessings. Someday she'll be gone and you'll miss having her around. BTDT.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Another poster. I do this as well, it is a symptom of impulsiveness due to ADHD. I don’t take meds late at night, sometimes they wear off...it is hard.

Good point. Op again. I do think she has undiagnosed adhd. She is very absent minded, rarely finishes anything, very easily distracted in general.

[Anonymous]

Where are you from, and where is your spouse’s family from?

My spouse is from rural New England, and around my spouse everyone has to speak sequentially. I am from NYC and from an “ethnic” background, and we all speak at once and have no trouble following the conversation. My spouse drives me nuts in this area, and my family drives my spouse nuts. It’s kind of a culture thing.

So it is not necessarily intentional or demeaning. You call it “interrupting” and I call it a conversation. I try to be mindful, but some people are so damn slow to get on with it.

[Anonymous]

She's verbally out of your league. Either she is lonely and has too much she needs to say, or people interrupt in her culture, or she is more entertained by hearing herself talk than in listening to you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Where are you from, and where is your spouse’s family from?

My spouse is from rural New England, and around my spouse everyone has to speak sequentially. I am from NYC and from an “ethnic” background, and we all speak at once and have no trouble following the conversation. My spouse drives me nuts in this area, and my family drives my spouse nuts. It’s kind of a culture thing.

So it is not necessarily intentional or demeaning. You call it “interrupting” and I call it a conversation. I try to be mindful, but some people are so damn slow to get on with it.

[Anonymous]

We are from the same region and culture.

She lacks manners in many areas, but very much so in her communication - being crass at inappropriate times (I can curse like a sailor, but there's a time to know when to turn it off), rude to waitstaff, unnecessarily loud in public places, is blunt about subjects like weight and race even with people she hardly knows.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Another poster. I do this as well, it is a symptom of impulsiveness due to ADHD. I don’t take meds late at night, sometimes they wear off...it is hard.

+1 I really do try. I gave my kids permission to call me out on it every time I interrupt and that has helped.

[Anonymous]

I hate people who ramble like my coworkers. They talk for an hour what can be said in 10 minutes. I have s$%& to do and hate wasting any minute of a day.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Where are you from, and where is your spouse’s family from?

My spouse is from rural New England, and around my spouse everyone has to speak sequentially. I am from NYC and from an “ethnic” background, and we all speak at once and have no trouble following the conversation. My spouse drives me nuts in this area, and my family drives my spouse nuts. It’s kind of a culture thing.

So it is not necessarily intentional or demeaning. You call it “interrupting” and I call it a conversation. I try to be mindful, but some people are so damn slow to get on with it.

I'm with you! We get so much more accomplished if we all talk and listen at the same time! We can do it, why can't they!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I hate people who ramble like my coworkers. They talk for an hour what can be said in 10 minutes. I have s$%& to do and hate wasting any minute of a day.

Yes. I'm an interrupter at work. I know it's rude and I try really hard to curb myself but some of my coworkers cannot stop moving their mouths after they've conveyed the thought. I am trying not to interrupt, but I am also sending overt body language signals that "I get it, I'm ready to respond" and they are not meeting me halfway. I tend not to interrupt my friends and family because I am less in a hurry and more confident I will get a chance to speak at some point.

FWIW I don't mind being interrupted. Like another PP, I just consider that conversation and we all help each other along. I like verbal brainstorming.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ugh I interrupt and I hate it. I'm just really enthusiastic, my mind goes at the speed of light and some people speak sooooo slowly, or say a thought in a long convoluted sentence that could be more concise, or ramble, or repeat themselves...but I am sorry, aware and trying.

+1. Sorry. I know and also trying .

Another one. I’m trying, too. I always have a million questions, though and am genuinely interested. Also, some of you ramble on incessantly and can tell a story to save your life.

Me, too. Stories that ramble on are the most difficult for me. I have to be mindful to let people tell stories in their own ways, but it is difficult when I see others who are listening starting to zone out/lose interest and I know the other person’s story has a point somewhere. Don’t interrupt, don’t interrupt, don’t interrupt. Sigh.

[Anonymous]

Honestly, it's hard to have good conversations with people who have different processing speeds.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Honestly, it's hard to have good conversations with people who have different processing speeds.

I hate being interrupted. It's not an issue of processing speed if the interrupter isn't processing anything other than their own thoughts.

My mom is a lot like Op's mil. She asks the same questions over and over again because she's always thinking about what she wants to say. More recently, I realized she talks without pausing long enough for me to respond. I don't think she'll ever change. Op, you can only change how you respond to her. One word answers, sometimes don't respond at all. Sometimes I just say "wait, stop talking now," if it's something I really need to say.