DH e-mails

[Anonymous]

My Google play account is logged into his email address, so I actually get his and mine, too. I ignore his. It's mostly spam with a few work emails.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Crazy.

I have nothing to hide, but I HATE people reading over my shoulder. If you tried to read one of my emails while you sat next to me, I would be livid.

+1. Growing up, I was taught that it was very rude to read over someone's shoulder. Even if I'm just cruising the web (or posting here), it really bugs me when somebody stands and looks over my shoulder.

[Anonymous]

Crazy

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Crazy.

I have nothing to hide, but I HATE people reading over my shoulder. If you tried to read one of my emails while you sat next to me, I would be livid.

Same here. I can't even stand people reading the newspaper over my shoulder.

DH and I have the password to get into each other's phone and will frequently it to get on the internet, etc. So we could look at each other's emails since we have them on our phones, but I am firmly against sharing all passwords. I've never read DHs emails and I assume he hasn't read mine. I agree with PPs who mentioned the need to just have your own personal space.

Now, having said that, I do think it's weird for OPs DH to react in such a way that made her suspicious.

[Anonymous]

I cannot imagine anything I would least rather do than read someone else's emails, including my husband's

[Anonymous]

We have total access to each other’s emails but rarely use it - occasionally it comes in handy for looking up what time the drywall guy said he’d be there, etc. there’s just nothing too compelling in there from either of us.

[Anonymous]

We share access to email accounts, but my wife used a private one for cheating purposes (as I recently discovered).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Crazy.

I have nothing to hide, but I HATE people reading over my shoulder. If you tried to read one of my emails while you sat next to me, I would be livid.

+1

I also think people who insist on unrestricted access to each other’s phones are excessive, but if it works for them, I guess that’s good. DH and I choose to maintain some privacy and boundaries.

Agree with both these posters

[Anonymous]

you should put the passwords in a safe - if one of you dies suddenly (it happens!) then you're basically fxxked without the passwords.

[Anonymous]

Crazy! I can barely keep up with my own email.

[Anonymous]

I was the same as all of you. Why on earth would i look at his emails? I never even asked for passwords, used his phone in front of him, he used mine etc. that was all until the day I will never forget. He was always talking about this staff member, she followed him from one job to another. At his request of course.At most, I thought maybe he had an office crush or she was his work wife. Well, I found out it was more, and he deleted everything on his phone and changed all his passwords. I will NEVER trust him again.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Should you have access to all of your DH's e-mail accounts? or is that crazy?

Nothing happened but I noted that he didn't want to open his e-mail account while looking with him on his computer and now feel suspicious...

Realistically that would make me feel suspicious, too. You have to know yourself and your hubby. Do you tend to be suspicious? Could you imagine your DH exchanginv inappropriate emails with someone?

[Anonymous]

I used to have access to DHs emails because I knew the log in to his laptop. Never used that access except to look crap up online when his laptop was the closest/most accessible. A couple months ago, he mentioned he'd reconnected with an old female work colleague on social media. A few weeks later, he changed his laptop password and password to his phone. Promptly got super secretive with everything and is on his phone constantly.

He thinks he's being covert but jesus, dude, of course I know you're at least having some inappropriate convos with her. Be a little subtle about it.

[Anonymous]

No, we don’t have password access to emails. However we do have passwords to each other’s phone (same password) and we know the password for our devices so in theory if I had to get to his email I could and vice versa. I have used that method to access his email and I told him when I did. It’s been the case of having to book frequent flier tickets or something under a rewards program /customer account and either needed to reset a password or needed the email confirmation right away. I’m not reading his emails in those cases, just getting that one email I need. I feel like if there was something that he wanted to share (say cousin Joe emailed him) he would tell me how he heard from cousin Joe and it would be part of our conversation about our day. If I suspected something going on, then honestly finding proof is one of those sanity check but reality is that if you are feeling suspicious of his behavior (and this is not typical for you) that doesn’t stop because of lack of proof. He could just be good covering his tracks. I remember someone on DCUM saying if it got to the point she felt she had to play detective, she would rather just start making plans to leave the marriage.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No, we don’t have password access to emails. However we do have passwords to each other’s phone (same password) and we know the password for our devices so in theory if I had to get to his email I could and vice versa. I have used that method to access his email and I told him when I did. It’s been the case of having to book frequent flier tickets or something under a rewards program /customer account and either needed to reset a password or needed the email confirmation right away. I’m not reading his emails in those cases, just getting that one email I need. I feel like if there was something that he wanted to share (say cousin Joe emailed him) he would tell me how he heard from cousin Joe and it would be part of our conversation about our day. If I suspected something going on, then honestly finding proof is one of those sanity check but reality is that if you are feeling suspicious of his behavior (and this is not typical for you) that doesn’t stop because of lack of proof. He could just be good covering his tracks. I remember someone on DCUM saying if it got to the point she felt she had to play detective, she would rather just start making plans to leave the marriage.

+1 He could just as easily be using whatsapp, snapchat, DMs, facebook messenger, work email, google chat, etc to contact any potential side piece. Or he could be doing none of those things and everything is fine. But access to emails won't tell you that.

Sadly, a lack of proof doesn't mean much and won't bring any peace if you suspect he's cheating or doing something wrong.