Do you feel consumed by these AAP discussions?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do you feel consumed by these AAP discussions?

I can't believe it's been almost 2 whole months since the parent referral deadline.

I had to parent refer, even though the child was in pool. I had been collecting information for that for a few months.

I got the GBRS, and I think its an excellent one, but nevertheless, I keep reading all the posts, unconsciously thinking this forum may be some crystal ball, and will help me figure out the answer.

Two months have gone by, and there is one more to go. The two months have gone by kind of fast, because of all other commitments in my life, coupled with a lot of juicy discussions on this board, but boy, how I wish I had the answer already.

You need to figure it out and learn to handle the waiting period. You have quite a bit ahead. Next up is the Algebra Readiness test, then possibly TJ application, then waiting around for PSATs, SATs, AP tests, then waiting around for college admissions. It will not stop with AAP eligibility.

[Anonymous]

Once I told my neighbors cogat was 99 percentile, they stopped calling me. Was I supposed to lie?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Once I told my neighbors cogat was 99 percentile, they stopped calling me. Was I supposed to lie?

Lol

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Once I told my neighbors cogat was 99 percentile, they stopped calling me. Was I supposed to lie?

Yes, that must’ve been it!

[Anonymous]

^actually I'm not surprised at all by such behavior.

[Anonymous]

But bragging about sports achievements is completely fine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:But bragging about sports achievements is completely fine.

Both are annoying

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:But bragging about sports achievements is completely fine.

Both are annoying

Do you ever wonder how we got to a point where we talk about our children's accomplishments more than our own? Is it because we feel it is more acceptable to do so? Is it that if we talk about doing well at work, then it is bragging, but if we talk about how DC got a "99 % score" on the CoGAT or is on an elite sports team, just won the chess tournament or placed first in the music competition, it is fine?

It makes me think about that episode of the Big Bang Theory where Leonard's mom is asked if she is proud of her children's accomplishments and she says something to the effect of, "why should I be, they are not mine."

I think (especially in this area), we are very, very invested in our children. Compared to 20-30 years ago, look at sports games and extra curricular activities. Parents sit through sports practices 2-3xs a week. Drive hours for weekend tournaments on games. Enroll children in multiple extra curricular activities (that cost lots of money). They want to see some pay off on that investment and then, well they want someone to validate that it is worth it and that they are good parents.

It is the same in almost all major areas of the country.......

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:But bragging about sports achievements is completely fine.

Both are annoying

Do you ever wonder how we got to a point where we talk about our children's accomplishments more than our own? Is it because we feel it is more acceptable to do so? Is it that if we talk about doing well at work, then it is bragging, but if we talk about how DC got a "99 % score" on the CoGAT or is on an elite sports team, just won the chess tournament or placed first in the music competition, it is fine?

It makes me think about that episode of the Big Bang Theory where Leonard's mom is asked if she is proud of her children's accomplishments and she says something to the effect of, "why should I be, they are not mine."

I think (especially in this area), we are very, very invested in our children. Compared to 20-30 years ago, look at sports games and extra curricular activities. Parents sit through sports practices 2-3xs a week. Drive hours for weekend tournaments on games. Enroll children in multiple extra curricular activities (that cost lots of money). They want to see some pay off on that investment and then, well they want someone to validate that it is worth it and that they are good parents.

It is the same in almost all major areas of the country.......

I think bragging is bragging, whether it's about you or your kid. However, it's sometimes difficult for people to draw that line between sharing in the nature of conversation (or simply being excited about an accomplishment) and outright bragging. It also depends on who is part of the conversation. Telling my coworker who doesn't have kids that my child won a first place finish in a competition over the weekend is different than going on about it to the parents of a child who was in the same or a similar competition. Of course the coworker gets annoyed constantly hearing about my kids because it gets boring after awhile, but it's not the same as going on about it to someone whose kid didn't fare as well. And I think that's where people are in the case of AAP. Obviously the people on these forums are trying to get their kids in. When you believe your kid belongs in the program but doesn't get it, it's hard to have to listen to other parents "bragging" about their kids being found eligible. And then even when you think that's over and the parents are past being oversensitive, the kids themselves brag about it when the separate classes really get going. Annoying!

I will say, though, that the bragging about kids has been around for awhile now. My mom was in various bridge groups (remember those?), and she would come home and tell me about all of the bragging these other moms did about their kids. I wanted my mom to brag more about me, but that wasn't her style. In retrospect, that wasn't such a bad call.

[Anonymous]

What's wrong with highlighting your kids' achievements? And how does it turn into bragging depending on the audience. If my friend's child is a better swimmer, or skier, or footballer, or whatever than mine, I don't mind hearing about it. I actually get really excited about that child. Even more, if my child is aspiring to get better at those same things, i'll ask for advice. Same goes with school stuff.

So, because people don't want to know that they did bad, they don't want to hear that you did well.

This is all part of the consolation prize mentality.

Like Trump says 'we don't win anymore'.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What's wrong with highlighting your kids' achievements? And how does it turn into bragging depending on the audience. If my friend's child is a better swimmer, or skier, or footballer, or whatever than mine, I don't mind hearing about it. I actually get really excited about that child. Even more, if my child is aspiring to get better at those same things, i'll ask for advice. Same goes with school stuff.

So, because people don't want to know that they did bad, they don't want to hear that you did well.

This is all part of the consolation prize mentality.

Like Trump says 'we don't win anymore'.

I don't think it's a consolation prize mentality at all. For generations, people have been able to be humble. That doesn't mean that everyone gets a trophy. I just mean that people don't need to be obnoxious about it.

[Anonymous]

I’m just trying to figure out how it would come up in conversation that your kid scored in the 99%ile on some CgoAT. That takes some tacky balls to weave that into the conversation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m just trying to figure out how it would come up in conversation that your kid scored in the 99%ile on some CgoAT. That takes some tacky balls to weave that into the conversation.

+1000

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m just trying to figure out how it would come up in conversation that your kid scored in the 99%ile on some CgoAT. That takes some tacky balls to weave that into the conversation.

+1000

Actually some people directly ask how your child did on COGAT....that happened to me a couple of times.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m just trying to figure out how it would come up in conversation that your kid scored in the 99%ile on some CgoAT. That takes some tacky balls to weave that into the conversation.

If you're talking about AAP, it seems like a natural topic to discuss. My kid scored in the 99%ile, but I would probably try to avoid mentioning it. In order not to brag.