Do you feel consumed by these AAP discussions?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m just trying to figure out how it would come up in conversation that your kid scored in the 99%ile on some CgoAT. That takes some tacky balls to weave that into the conversation.

+1000

Actually some people directly ask how your child did on COGAT....that happened to me a couple of times.

I got that questions once a few years ago and I was honest about it and then the other person didn't share how her child did on COGAT. I actually ddn't want to know but I remember constantly ran into people who loved collecting personal information between December and March.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m just trying to figure out how it would come up in conversation that your kid scored in the 99%ile on some CgoAT. That takes some tacky balls to weave that into the conversation.

+1000

Actually some people directly ask how your child did on COGAT....that happened to me a couple of times.

Again, that takes some tacky balls.
Just because someone asks you a rude question, it doesn’t mean you have to answer it.

[Anonymous]

Being obnoxious and not humble is not the same as being happy and sharing something you're happy about.

There are no special balls needed to say how your child did.

Next time you talk to your friend, and she asks how you're doing, you can say 'oh, I'm so glad my daughter did well on the cogat. She did so well. I was surprised. She scored on the 99th percentile." if she's a real friend she'll be happy for you.

[Anonymous]

I have also asked and been asked, and I have not minded at all.

I have felt a little bad about sharing high scores if the other person had lower scores, but I have toughened up and done it out of respect for the other person. I don't ask if I think the other person did badly, but if I think they did well, I have asked, because of curiosity and because I wanted to be happy for them.

[Anonymous]

People with your fake norms have ruined the sense of community. "Ooo, you can't ask that! That's rude!"

How did you come up with these standards? Where is the concern that people have for one another? Do you even mean it when you ask how are you and how is it going? Or will that also soon become too personal and rude?

[Anonymous]

What is the lowest score you need to get 99th percentile on CogAT. I mean in pool is 98th right? So the bottom end of 99th probably isn’t really all that high. Anyone know?

[Anonymous]

I would not live in Fairfax and endure this nonsense if you gave me a free house to live in.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would not live in Fairfax and endure this nonsense if you gave me a free house to live in.

that's good! we're not missing you!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What's wrong with highlighting your kids' achievements? And how does it turn into bragging depending on the audience. If my friend's child is a better swimmer, or skier, or footballer, or whatever than mine, I don't mind hearing about it. I actually get really excited about that child. Even more, if my child is aspiring to get better at those same things, i'll ask for advice. Same goes with school stuff.

So, because people don't want to know that they did bad, they don't want to hear that you did well.

This is all part of the consolation prize mentality.

Like Trump says 'we don't win anymore'.

No - if they’re that great people will see it for themselves - no highlighting is needed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What's wrong with highlighting your kids' achievements? And how does it turn into bragging depending on the audience. If my friend's child is a better swimmer, or skier, or footballer, or whatever than mine, I don't mind hearing about it. I actually get really excited about that child. Even more, if my child is aspiring to get better at those same things, i'll ask for advice. Same goes with school stuff.

So, because people don't want to know that they did bad, they don't want to hear that you did well.

This is all part of the consolation prize mentality.

Like Trump says 'we don't win anymore'.

No - if they’re that great people will see it for themselves - no highlighting is needed.

Thank God I don't have friends like you!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What's wrong with highlighting your kids' achievements? And how does it turn into bragging depending on the audience. If my friend's child is a better swimmer, or skier, or footballer, or whatever than mine, I don't mind hearing about it. I actually get really excited about that child. Even more, if my child is aspiring to get better at those same things, i'll ask for advice. Same goes with school stuff.

So, because people don't want to know that they did bad, they don't want to hear that you did well.

This is all part of the consolation prize mentality.

Like Trump says 'we don't win anymore'.

No - if they’re that great people will see it for themselves - no highlighting is needed.

Thank God I don't have friends like you!

Well, I definitely have too many friends, so therein could lie the problem. Maybe I’m hearing it from too many people, so I don’t have as much patience for it and too many that I’m hearing it from aren’t my truly best friends. Usually the worst culprit is social media. I have 1,000+ FB friends - all of whom I personally know. I try to start unfollowing if it gets too much.

I don’t live in a crazy AAP area and I think most of my friends are trying to be relaxed about things. Usually if someone is bad about bragging too much an alert goes out to the group to beware because we are all on the same page about trying to relax about things and not be competitive about our kids. And guess what - I’ll even be friends with those people and politely nod, but they won’t be my best friends if it is too much. And I’m not talking about genuinely being happy about something someone worked hard for, etc.

When my kid got into AAP people even said I’m happy to hear when a “sleeper” like your Dc gets in, more than someone who’s been bragging about how their kid is bored all the time and has to slum it with our kids in K-2 etc.

To each his own.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What's wrong with highlighting your kids' achievements? And how does it turn into bragging depending on the audience. If my friend's child is a better swimmer, or skier, or footballer, or whatever than mine, I don't mind hearing about it. I actually get really excited about that child. Even more, if my child is aspiring to get better at those same things, i'll ask for advice. Same goes with school stuff.

So, because people don't want to know that they did bad, they don't want to hear that you did well.

This is all part of the consolation prize mentality.

Like Trump says 'we don't win anymore'.

No - if they’re that great people will see it for themselves - no highlighting is needed.

Thank God I don't have friends like you!

Well, I definitely have too many friends, so therein could lie the problem. Maybe I’m hearing it from too many people, so I don’t have as much patience for it and too many that I’m hearing it from aren’t my truly best friends. Usually the worst culprit is social media. I have 1,000+ FB friends - all of whom I personally know. I try to start unfollowing if it gets too much.

I don’t live in a crazy AAP area and I think most of my friends are trying to be relaxed about things. Usually if someone is bad about bragging too much an alert goes out to the group to beware because we are all on the same page about trying to relax about things and not be competitive about our kids. And guess what - I’ll even be friends with those people and politely nod, but they won’t be my best friends if it is too much. And I’m not talking about genuinely being happy about something someone worked hard for, etc.

When my kid got into AAP people even said I’m happy to hear when a “sleeper” like your Dc gets in, more than someone who’s been bragging about how their kid is bored all the time and has to slum it with our kids in K-2 etc.

To each his own.

I’m with you! I have many friends, several of them really good friends. The good ones are not full of themselves. We talk about lots of things in our kids’ lives, including AAP, but it’s not a brag fest.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Once I told my neighbors cogat was 99 percentile, they stopped calling me. Was I supposed to lie?

Did you volunteer the information or did you just answer a question?

[Anonymous]

I have never had that discussion with any of my Vienna neigbors. Most of our kids are in AAP, though.

[Anonymous]

I do still like to look in this forum. I was consumed by AAP discussions a few years ago and it was a very stressful time.
DC is now in 7th grade.

I only ever had two friends that I discussed AAP with in real life.
I had no idea how other kids did, or who got in or who didn't.
This board was very useful for the little pieces of information that I could find amidst the snark. It really did help since I didn't have any of these "how to" discussions with any friends.
We never shared my DC's scores with anyone. I also would never have had the balls to ask for anyone's scores.
I did learn a lot through that experience and I'm still really glad that we didn't get sucked into any drama.