How would you handle this with DH who is emotionally detached?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm so sorry you are going through this. I completely understand why this would cause you to feel violated and emotionally denied. I agree with you that this behavior should not be happening and I think you're right to not pretend that it's okay or that you're okay with it when you're not. Do you think he would be willing to go see a counselor with you? My husband and I went through a difficult season where we on very different pages with the problem at hand, and we just couldn't resolve it on our own so finally we went to counseling. I personally found it so helpful as I felt like I finally had some support and help in getting my husband to understand where I was coming from. They really helped us work through it in a way where we both felt safe and supported. Even if your husband might not be willing to go, maybe it could be a place where you could find some support. I really hope things get better, and you are able to find some support.

OP here thank you! He doesn’t want to talk to a counselor but has acknowledged he has a problem and need to work on it. I do hope he is genuine. Meanwhile I need to find a way to get over the hurt.

[Anonymous]

What your husband is doing is equivalent to cheating, in my book. Once married, there is no flirting with someone else.
How on earth did you miss that memo, OP?

You tell him to stop it otherwise he's in the doghouse leading to divorce.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm so sorry you are going through this. I completely understand why this would cause you to feel violated and emotionally denied. I agree with you that this behavior should not be happening and I think you're right to not pretend that it's okay or that you're okay with it when you're not. Do you think he would be willing to go see a counselor with you? My husband and I went through a difficult season where we on very different pages with the problem at hand, and we just couldn't resolve it on our own so finally we went to counseling. I personally found it so helpful as I felt like I finally had some support and help in getting my husband to understand where I was coming from. They really helped us work through it in a way where we both felt safe and supported. Even if your husband might not be willing to go, maybe it could be a place where you could find some support. I really hope things get better, and you are able to find some support.

OP here thank you! He doesn’t want to talk to a counselor but has acknowledged he has a problem and need to work on it. I do hope he is genuine. Meanwhile I need to find a way to get over the hurt.

No. You have to find a way to make him crawl and beg for mercy, more like. You don't seem to understand, OP. This isn't some sort of small mistake. This is a big one. I would NEVER make myself available in any way to my spouse who flirts with other people. There would be no discussion, not lifting a finger, no nothing. For me that's a hill to die on.

You're going along with this and that's why he finds it hard to stop.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Define sexting? You seem like a person who may be too sensitive.

OP here. Deep continuos sexual conversations with another woman. For example about her vagina and how she is sweet etc. commenting and complementing her photos in a sexual manner.

And you are asking if you’re being over sensitive and unreasonable?!?! What!?!?

That’s despicable behavior on his part. And he finds a way to blame you. Awful!