Where to hide money to plan an exit?
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Anonymous
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A bette thing to do would be to ensure that you have bullet proof documentation of all accounts and assets. You have all the usernames and passwords for online access and none of those are saved on any device in your house. If he makes 4 times what you make, unless you make $5k and he makes $20k per year, probably you will be ok. I agree with buying things like winter coats for kids for a few years. There will be some super sales and you can get a few sizes. Get all your summer camps booked and paid in full now.
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Anonymous
Amazing a woman would want to divorce a misogynistic gem like you! |
Anonymous
Why did you have 3 kids with an emotionally abusive person? |
Anonymous
Uh, no. It’s about a woman in an abusive relationship trying to protect herself and her kids. She’s not spending it on a trip to the mall. And most women work just as hard as men, if not harder. No wonder your wife left you. |
Anonymous
$5,000 may or may not even cover a divorce lawyer’s retainer, depending on how pricey your divorce lawyer is. For just a 2-bedroom apartment (you have 3 kids? How old are they) in a decent neighborhood near the metro (so you can commute to work) you’re looking at at least $2,000 a month plus probably that amount again for a security deposit. You may be able to find something cheaper. It will take at least several months, probably much longer, to hammer out a separation agreement and then you need a judge to approve it. With your income ratio, you will probably get child support even with 50-50 custody, but it won’t start officially until you have a court-approved agreement. It will take at least a year, probably 2-3 years, before your marital assets like pensions are split and you’re free to access them, although you don’t want to drain your pensions. File immediately for divorce, don’t wait. Back child support dates from the date you file, not from the date you leave. The mistake I made was to believe XDH and his pricey lawyer when they said they wanted to negotiate an amicable agreement. They didn’t, and that became clear when they started transmitting ridiculous demands six months later. I didn’t get any child support until I filed in court, even though both teens chose to live with me 100% of the time. Possibly your DH is nicer than mine, but don’t count on it, I thought I married a nice guy 20 years ago. Stalling is really a thing, and his divorce lawyer may encourage him not to give you anything unless you file. Unless you think he will voluntarily help you with expenses as soon as you leave, you need to plan for the longer term. Since you control the finances, I would make sure you have $10,000 in your savings account—and make sure he has the exact same amount in his bank account, too. Whatever you sock away, make sure you sock away an equal amount for him. Then declare your account to your lawyers and the judge. Marital assets are split 50-50 and you should be ok. Then, since he’s potentially violent, I’m with the pps who suggest giving at least $5,000 cash to a friend or family member, or put it in a locked box—nothing with your name on it like a safety deposit box. Your DH and his lawyers probably wouldn’t figure out you have a safety deposit box, but if they do you’ll have a lot of explaining to do. Anyway, do you want to be a person who lies on court documents about something tangible like a secret safety deposit box? Re forensic accountants, I’m pretty sure my scummy XDH was hiding money and my sister offered to pay for a forensic accountant. But my lawyers said that unless you have a smoking gun, like you can give the forensic accountant leads to a condo he bought for his AP, they may not find anything. Even if they do, a few hundred extra a month gone missing can really easily be justified as family/household expenses and it’s not worth anybody's lawyer’s or forensic accountant’s fees to try to prove otherwise. |
Anonymous
+1. He can’t read and he has anger issues. A real gem. |
Anonymous
Since you have access to all the accounts and the uid/pw i'm assuming they are all either jointly owned or in his name. Why not make sure that all of them are jointly owned? You control the account, it should not be difficult to add your name to those accounts. Accounts in Kid's name: If divorce is imminent, open accounts in your kids' names with you as the custodian and move money into those accounts. These will ostensibly be used for their benefit. Let his lawyer argue about taking that money away and make him look bad. Cash: Siphon off 10K in cash and give it to your parents to hold in your name. Gifts: You can actually "gift" up to 14K per year without tax disclosure to each person. That's 28K to your parents. This will be above board and legal and I don't think his lawyer can ask for it back. They can hold that money for you when you need it. All of these are perfectly valid since you make money too and these funds can come out of your earnings. At the end of the day all marital assets will be split equally. The above steps moves a small amount of money out of that pool. |
Anonymous
| Will grocery stores still allow you to write checks for more than you spent, for cash back? |
Anonymous
| Are you FLOTUS? Sorry, no way out for u and yr child. |
Anonymous
They do cashback with credit cards upto a certain amount.. At least Safeway does |
Anonymous
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load up on gift cards home depot
safeway giant whole foods |
Anonymous
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Cash is king. But hard to stash significant amounts wi5h out being noticed. IE paper takes up too much space...
One ounce Gold coins. Easy to hide. Won’t take up much space. Yes you run the risk of loosing some as the value of gold changes. But you also could earn as well... Heck the coins could easily be buried at your own home or given to a close freind. A visa gift card or other gift cards. Or write yourself a money order.. |
Anonymous
If you get funny with the money and a judge finds out, this could blow up in your face. |
Anonymous
+1. If he makes 4x what you do, you are really taking a risk squirreling away more than pocket change. Judges hate folks who play games and optics are important. Be careful and talk to a lawyer before you do anything. |
Anonymous
I like the idea of starting two separate savings accounts under your name and his name so that you have access to funds while the divorce is being decided. |