Where to hide money to plan an exit?

[Anonymous]

DH is emotionally abusive (occasionally physically - throwing things at me - hasn't been any hitting)and I am hoping to plan an exit. We have three kids. I would like to put some money away to make this easier. I am in charge of finances and I work full time. He makes four times as much as me. I pay all bills and handle investments. He never looks at any accounts or bills. How can I hide some money?
Open a separate savings account?
Safe deposit box?
Cash hidden in the house?

[Anonymous]

Easiest is give cash to someone you trust.. mom, dad, sister..

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Easiest is give cash to someone you trust.. mom, dad, sister..

This. As much as you can without triggering suspicion.

[Anonymous]

How much are you hoping to stash away? 10-20k? Just get cash and get all kids stuff for many years upfront (or gift cards to Amazon and stores/activities kids do) if you suspect that it would be hard to get him to pay for kids.

[Anonymous]

Give some cash to someone else. Open a savings account if you want to/can put away more.

I like the idea of some gift cards, too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Give some cash to someone else. Open a savings account if you want to/can put away more.

I like the idea of some gift cards, too.

Savings account is not safe. It can be found by a forensic account. In the divorce paperwork she has to disclose that she's got this separate account, then half becomes his. Cash.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Give some cash to someone else. Open a savings account if you want to/can put away more.

I like the idea of some gift cards, too.

Savings account is not safe. It can be found by a forensic account. In the divorce paperwork she has to disclose that she's got this separate account, then half becomes his. Cash.

True! I'm the quoted pp... didn't think of a forensic accountant.

[Anonymous]

Read this

https://www.washingtonpost.com/opinions/rob-porter-is-my-ex-husband-heres-what-you-should-know-about-abuse/2018/02/12/3c7edcb8-1033-11e8-9065-e55346f6de81_story.html

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DH is emotionally abusive (occasionally physically - throwing things at me - hasn't been any hitting)and I am hoping to plan an exit. We have three kids. I would like to put some money away to make this easier. I am in charge of finances and I work full time. He makes four times as much as me. I pay all bills and handle investments. He never looks at any accounts or bills. How can I hide some money?
Open a separate savings account?
Safe deposit box?
Cash hidden in the house?

Safe deposit box -- all cash. Stash the key at work. Cash withdrawals in random amounts from the ATM.

[Anonymous]

Cash in a safe deposit box. The safe deposit box should be at a bank you don't already use, and ideally your friend takes it out under their name.

[Anonymous]

I bought a money lock box to hide my cash. One key on my key ring, one key taped under a dresser drawer. No one knows. Well you all do but no one else.

[Anonymous]

Could you really withdraw enough cash to make a difference? Wouldn’t the forensic accountant ask what you did with all the withdrawals?

[Anonymous]

It’s fraud. If he makes 4x what you do, you should hav plenty in assets that will be divided equally. Go after him for alimony and make sure he pays child support. No one would be giving a man this advice. Don’t spend more time in this toxic relationship on little dribs of money, just get out so you can start working on improving your life and the life of your kids.

[Anonymous]

Assuming your household finances are healthy, I don’t see anything wrong with putting aside a small amount, like maybe $5,000, to cover the initial legal fees and first month’s expenses, until child/spousal support kicks in and you start dividing assets.

Just open a separate savings account, put the money in there, and then disclose it as part of your property division (so you take 50 percent of the total marital assets, minus $5k).

But taking anymore than that, taking that amount if it means household expenses won’t get paid, or not disclosing that you took it will look bad. Don’t do it.

Make sure you have a good inventory of all assets when you separate.

[Anonymous]

You can't steal enough money from the marriage to make much of a difference. And if your husband finds out what you are doing, the extra lawyer bills will wipe out any money you steal.

I was willing to have a nice vanilla divorce from my ex, but when I found out she was stealing family money, and how much, I fought her like the Devil.

By the way, any men reading this: this thread shows how women thing--it's all about the money. Your relationship is about you working hard so they can spend, spend, spend.