The amount of affairs on here

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m sorry your husband is cheating on you, OP.

Maybe try working with a therapist to help you see where to place the blame. It’s not randos on the internet.

Therapist don't do that. Further, nobody is in an affair. I'm just pointing out facts. There seems to be a lot of folks on here that think marriage is a game.

And stirring the pot on DCUM is not a game? Some people like to troll the internet, some people like to have sex with other peoples’ husbands.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m sorry your husband is cheating on you, OP.

Maybe try working with a therapist to help you see where to place the blame. It’s not randos on the internet.

Therapist don't do that. Further, nobody is in an affair. I'm just pointing out facts. There seems to be a lot of folks on here that think marriage is a game.

It's a lot of folks on here that think marriage is an expense account - you got something to say to them?
It's a lot of folks on here that think marriage is the epicenter of the universe and they have no life as a result - you got any advice for them?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are you one of the posters who was trying to shame others who considered affairs when their spouse refused sex for years at a time? Grow up and worry about yourself. Keep your own house in order and hopefully you won't have to deal with the issue of infidelity in your marriage- which is the only one you should feel this strongly about.

But why not get a divorce or ask for an open marriage? I agree that sex is an integral part of marriage but affairs aren’t just wrong because of the sex but also the deception.

It's not that simple. It's often not about the spouse but a flaw in the cheater. No one gets hurt except the cheater if it is never discovered. Different people deal with different situations in different ways. It's easy for some to pontificate but until you walk a mile in someone else's shoes, be careful who you sling mud at. The folks who are so willing to judge and sling mud are usually the ones with the deepest, darkest secrets.

[Anonymous]

They all gonna end up like this:


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2EwViQxSJJQ

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This website has normalized affairs to me. I used to think it was rare, but now it seems common.

It’s common in this area, yes. Elsewhere probably not

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:They all gonna end up like this:


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2EwViQxSJJQ

And like this:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DksSPZTZES0

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are you one of the posters who was trying to shame others who considered affairs when their spouse refused sex for years at a time? Grow up and worry about yourself. Keep your own house in order and hopefully you won't have to deal with the issue of infidelity in your marriage- which is the only one you should feel this strongly about.

So we are talking about sex? Are you kidding me? That's what makes you want to ruin people's lives? Just divorce and don't waste people's time.

The lack of security absolutely will lead to affairs. It matters that much. In the moment they aren't thinking about the collateral damage. If they did they wouldn't cheat

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Are you one of the posters who was trying to shame others who considered affairs when their spouse refused sex for years at a time? Grow up and worry about yourself. Keep your own house in order and hopefully you won't have to deal with the issue of infidelity in your marriage- which is the only one you should feel this strongly about.

If you can’t see how the Infidelities of others affects your marriage, then you are blind. Your spouse sees how pervasive it is in the DC area, picks up on it and, like a dripping faucet, it eventually may break.

It affects the entire community.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are you one of the posters who was trying to shame others who considered affairs when their spouse refused sex for years at a time? Grow up and worry about yourself. Keep your own house in order and hopefully you won't have to deal with the issue of infidelity in your marriage- which is the only one you should feel this strongly about.

But why not get a divorce or ask for an open marriage? I agree that sex is an integral part of marriage but affairs aren’t just wrong because of the sex but also the deception.

It's not that simple. It's often not about the spouse but a flaw in the cheater. No one gets hurt except the cheater if it is never discovered. Different people deal with different situations in different ways. It's easy for some to pontificate but until you walk a mile in someone else's shoes, be careful who you sling mud at. The folks who are so willing to judge and sling mud are usually the ones with the deepest, darkest secrets.

Show me a study where judging cheaters means that you have some dark secret. And there're ways to deal with issues other than cheating.

And please stop with the idea that is caused by issues in the marriage. It's an excuse. Most folks just lack self control. They're having a great time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are you one of the posters who was trying to shame others who considered affairs when their spouse refused sex for years at a time? Grow up and worry about yourself. Keep your own house in order and hopefully you won't have to deal with the issue of infidelity in your marriage- which is the only one you should feel this strongly about.

So we are talking about sex? Are you kidding me? That's what makes you want to ruin people's lives? Just divorce and don't waste people's time.

The lack of security absolutely will lead to affairs. It matters that much. In the moment they aren't thinking about the collateral damage. If they did they wouldn't cheat

The lack of *sex*... Damn spellcheck

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m sorry your husband is cheating on you, OP.

Maybe try working with a therapist to help you see where to place the blame. It’s not randos on the internet.

Therapist don't do that. Further, nobody is in an affair. I'm just pointing out facts. There seems to be a lot of folks on here that think marriage is a game.

It's a lot of folks on here that think marriage is an expense account - you got something to say to them?
It's a lot of folks on here that think marriage is the epicenter of the universe and they have no life as a result - you got any advice for them?

+ F*****CKING 1

It's amazing how this is the only place that if you're faithful - nothing else matters. You are a saint. AND! Cheating and/or extreme abuse is the only legitimate approved reason to divorce if you have kids. Because you know...the kids will die if you divorce.

Must need a lot of oxygen masks up there whilst you flit about the clouds with your angel wings.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are you one of the posters who was trying to shame others who considered affairs when their spouse refused sex for years at a time? Grow up and worry about yourself. Keep your own house in order and hopefully you won't have to deal with the issue of infidelity in your marriage- which is the only one you should feel this strongly about.

So we are talking about sex? Are you kidding me? That's what makes you want to ruin people's lives? Just divorce and don't waste people's time.

The lack of security absolutely will lead to affairs. It matters that much. In the moment they aren't thinking about the collateral damage. If they did they wouldn't cheat

Yeah, if they were you or I. That's not what's going on here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you're genuinely curious, read Esther Perel's book on fidelity to monogamy. She researched the issue and her insights are really interesting.

Like anything in life, it's much more complicated than inane comments like the PP's about players and such. There's nuance there. But people who are black-and-white thinkers who can't/don't want to acknowledge gray struggle with this.

I post that as someone who's been faithful for 20 years and plan to continue.

Well played, player. I see you! Putting down other players while claiming to be faithful. LOL!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m sorry your husband is cheating on you, OP.

Maybe try working with a therapist to help you see where to place the blame. It’s not randos on the internet.

Therapist don't do that. Further, nobody is in an affair. I'm just pointing out facts. There seems to be a lot of folks on here that think marriage is a game.

It's a lot of folks on here that think marriage is an expense account - you got something to say to them?
It's a lot of folks on here that think marriage is the epicenter of the universe and they have no life as a result - you got any advice for them?

+ F*****CKING 1

It's amazing how this is the only place that if you're faithful - nothing else matters. You are a saint. AND! Cheating and/or extreme abuse is the only legitimate approved reason to divorce if you have kids. Because you know...the kids will die if you divorce.

Must need a lot of oxygen masks up there whilst you flit about the clouds with your angel wings.

Did you think about whether this would happen when you got married? This was a risk and unless the partner is being abusive, you figure it out without being destructive.

[Anonymous]

Cheaters are horrible but I wouldn't use DCUM as some barometer for how normal they are or aren't. Unhappy and guilty people are the ones spending a lot of time in a relationship advice forum. Happy ones are out there living their lives (or, like me I guess occasionally reading through the relationship forum and shaking our heads, happy our lives don't resemble all this).