Over 50's forum is depressing me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:46 and no sex? That's odd.

Lol.

[Anonymous]

There are so many variables in a couples' sex life that I don't want to pretend this is the only problem or anything. But, one issue that comes up is that a lot of women never really have to actively pursue sex or think much about it. In fact, in a lot of cultural ways, they're discouraged from doing so.

However, as the years pass, the spontaneous desire diminishes, their husband's novelty fades, and maybe the husband doesn't pursue as aggressively. A passive approach to sex was sufficient in the early years. But, one thing that has to happen sooner or later is that a woman needs to learn to take an active role in the couples' sex life. Otherwise, it's probably going to fade in a way that harms the marriage.

[Anonymous]

My boobs are sad deflated balloons and the varicose veins in my legs never went away.
I have 4 awesome kids, but I feel so unattractive and that's taken a toll.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Oh girl, once I got comfortable with and then really loved giving BJ's there was no looking back.

I should hope not since looking back would really ruin the mood.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:46 and no sex? That's odd.

OP here - we do have kids at home but that's not an excuse. We do have sex but only about once every two weeks or so. Over the years the frequency has just slowly declined. I'm just amazed that these 60 year old women are having sex twice a week or more. We are both in good shape so that's not an excuse. Maybe I should read Cosmo!

I think you're making too much of this. Every two weeks is more than many people here -- how often do you see reports of no sex? The twice-a-week reports in the Over 50 forum are not that common. I'd say once a week is the average reported there.

-- A once-a-week 60 year old DH.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My boobs are sad deflated balloons and the varicose veins in my legs never went away.
I have 4 awesome kids, but I feel so unattractive and that's taken a toll.

I got a boob job and holy smokes did that revitalize our sex life. It made me feel sexy and good and I loved once again being in top. Best 7k i have ever spent in my life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My boobs are sad deflated balloons and the varicose veins in my legs never went away.
I have 4 awesome kids, but I feel so unattractive and that's taken a toll.

I got a boob job and holy smokes did that revitalize our sex life. It made me feel sexy and good and I loved once again being in top. Best 7k i have ever spent in my life.

^^Saggy boob poster here - I had contemplated a boob job. Boosting my self esteem, sex life, and image for 7K is way cheaper than years of therapy, right? Maybe the kids can spend 2 weeks at grandma's house this summer while I go get myself enhanced.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:In the over 50's forum there is a thread about enjoying sex when you are over 50 and over 60. There are a whole bunch of women in their 60's writing that they still have sex once or twice a week with their husbands of 30 or more years. I'm 46 and I've been married 20 years and we don't have sex that often. I love my DH but after 20 years with the same man the physical spark has diminished except on rare occasions. Neither of us complains about it and other than that we have a very good marriage and I'd hate to rock the boat. I'd love to be one of those 60 years olds having frequent sex but at the rate we're going we may be done by our mid 50's. Anyone else in this boat?

OP, I'm your age in the same boat. I honestly find it incredulous when I hear women who have been married for many years say they still really desire having sex with their husbands. Truthfully, great for them but I think they are anomalies. I think most women lose interest in having sex with their husbands over time, but it feels so crappy to admit so because society makes it seem like it's the sign of a major marital problem.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My husband is 50 and I'm 45, and we have never stopped having regular sex, kinky sex, fantasizing, playing, and having so much fun together. We've been through hard times, but we've always stuck together because life alone or with anyone else is incomprehensible to us. Age is just a number. It means nothing when it comes to how much you want your spouse and how much they want you. Give your love? life a makeover. Do you kiss deeply every day? If not, start there. Start sexting each other. Send each other love quotes. Flirt with each other. These are things we do every day. We also talk about everything, how we feel, what we're thinking, etc. If we're tired, we love to just snuggle. That's also intimate. Marriage doesn't have to be boring when you've been together for years. It can be like a honeymoon every day if you want it to be. It takes two, and it takes truly wanting each other and loving each other. Good luck.

Do you have kids?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In the over 50's forum there is a thread about enjoying sex when you are over 50 and over 60. There are a whole bunch of women in their 60's writing that they still have sex once or twice a week with their husbands of 30 or more years. I'm 46 and I've been married 20 years and we don't have sex that often. I love my DH but after 20 years with the same man the physical spark has diminished except on rare occasions. Neither of us complains about it and other than that we have a very good marriage and I'd hate to rock the boat. I'd love to be one of those 60 years olds having frequent sex but at the rate we're going we may be done by our mid 50's. Anyone else in this boat?

OP, I'm your age in the same boat. I honestly find it incredulous when I hear women who have been married for many years say they still really desire having sex with their husbands. Truthfully, great for them but I think they are anomalies. I think most women lose interest in having sex with their husbands over time, but it feels so crappy to admit so because society makes it seem like it's the sign of a major marital problem.

Do you think it's hormones? I mean with menopause setting in around 50 or so, doesn't your sex drive decrease anyway? Throw in the stress of raising teens, work, and other life stressors you've got yourself a perfect storm of diminished sex life.

[Anonymous]

I’m 36 and DH is 39 and it’s been times we’ve only had sex once a month.

We aim for once a week and that rarely happens especially with young kids (5 and 8).

Age has nothing to do with it; it’s the drive. We both have low libidos and it works.

[Anonymous]

OP, that thread you read in the 50+ forum came about because someone BEGGED to hear from any woman who still liked having sex. There had previously been threads with lots of women saying their sex drive had died down and/or menopause symptoms were negatively affecting sex.

So the people posting in that thread are self-selected to be on the more sexually active side.

I think posters here brought up good points about how we get into low-sex ruts. We get bored, a normal reaction. We need to feel attractive to our partners, and childbirth/age are not kind to the body. And we have to take more active measures to make sex happen and make it good.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In the over 50's forum there is a thread about enjoying sex when you are over 50 and over 60. There are a whole bunch of women in their 60's writing that they still have sex once or twice a week with their husbands of 30 or more years. I'm 46 and I've been married 20 years and we don't have sex that often. I love my DH but after 20 years with the same man the physical spark has diminished except on rare occasions. Neither of us complains about it and other than that we have a very good marriage and I'd hate to rock the boat. I'd love to be one of those 60 years olds having frequent sex but at the rate we're going we may be done by our mid 50's. Anyone else in this boat?

OP, I'm your age in the same boat. I honestly find it incredulous when I hear women who have been married for many years say they still really desire having sex with their husbands. Truthfully, great for them but I think they are anomalies. I think most women lose interest in having sex with their husbands over time, but it feels so crappy to admit so because society makes it seem like it's the sign of a major marital problem.

Sadly, you are right. Most women lose interest in sex with their long term partner. It has little to do with him, it’s just how women’s brains are wired. Female sex drive is “responsive” and this goes down over time as familiarity replaces novelty. But a new exciting attentive male can quickly get her interested in sex. This is why most long term husbands would have better odds with a random married women versus his own wife.

Do you want to stay happily married? Then keep on faking it once or twice a week, just do the wifely duty that has been sustaining marriages in this modern era of Monogamy and women’s rights.

[Anonymous]

My boobs are sad deflated balloons and the varicose veins in my legs never went away.
I have 4 awesome kids, but I feel so unattractive and that's taken a toll.


I got a boob job and holy smokes did that revitalize our sex life. It made me feel sexy and good and I loved once again being in top. Best 7k i have ever spent in my life.

^^Saggy boob poster here - I had contemplated a boob job. Boosting my self esteem, sex life, and image for 7K is way cheaper than years of therapy, right? Maybe the kids can spend 2 weeks at grandma's house this summer while I go get myself enhanced.

For me, its not the money (I'm 41 and have saggy boobs, but probably due to weight loss. I only have one kid and he's 10 now). I looked into recovery times and it seems like a lot more than 2 weeks - no heavy activity at the gym for around 6 weeks to 2 months, and you have to wear a sports bra instead of a regular bra for at least that long, which would pose a problem for me at work (in a formal office, would not look good under business attire). I brought some supportive, fun, sexy bras and just keep them on instead.

[Anonymous]

In my late 40s my fat DW began to refuse sex on all occasions, and treat me badly. So I got a divorce and now have sex with lots of women, some of them much younger.

Men in sexless marriage, married to shews: do not get divorced! I don't want the competition in the dating pool.