Best friend not acknowledging my birthday

[Anonymous]

Well, is this usual for her? Has she taken initiative before for your birthday?
Or is she going through something right now?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Also, she may have $ issues OP. Spa is not cheap unless you flat out say you are treating her!

+1... even if she makes plenty of money, some people choose not to spend on the spa. plus she might feel obligated to cover your portion. I'd be really uncomfortable if I were her.

[Anonymous]

Honestly there is NO way I could expect to go to a spa with my best friend and not pay for BOTH of our treatments. And yes I make good money, and yes we have a big house, but no I dont want to spend 500 bucks after tip and arrange a sitter for 5 hours. Sorry but I would never spend that on myself right now either. So even if you think "but Larla has money and loves spas" it might not be a priority and just too much to ask of her. My Saturdays are super precious too.

[Anonymous]

FRIENDSHIPS ARE BETTER WHEN YOU DON'T EXPECT ANYTHING FROM YOUR FRIEND

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So I'm typically of the camp of birthdays are for kids and no one needs to celebrate an adult's birthday, but my birthday is coming up and I want to have a specific spa service that I've been debating about for years. I am in my late thirties. I asked my BFF, who is the person I would prefer to go with, and she said no, that she is booked that weekend and can't do it. No offer to go another time or do something else. I hate to say it but this is really bothering me! I am always there to support her when she asks me to go to events with her and I have taken her out for pregnancies, birthdays, etc. My DH of course says to let it go and not overthink it, but I am wondering if I should doubt the fact that she is one of my closest friends. This is bothering me more than I think it should. What would other people do?

Ask her what weekend works for her. Or maybe she's creeped out by the whole spa thing (I am. I don't like people touching me)

yes, you are overreacting a bit.

[Anonymous]

The fact that you added the "I'm typically of the camp that doesn't act like this" disclaimer shows you know what the answer to this is.

[Anonymous]

This can't be a real post. Do your friend a favor and dump her. You sound like a nightmare and she deserves better. Your husband probably thinks you're a nutjob too

[Anonymous]

OP, have you ever gone to a spa with another person? Unless you're getting tandem mani pedis, it's not really fun going with a friend. You're not going to see her anyways as you'll be getting services in separate rooms. Defeats the whole purpose of going together.

[Anonymous]

She loves spas and I know that money is not an issue. We have been together before and never treat each other. I'm sure that money is not an issue, but instead it is prioritizing time.

Thank you for the insight, PP, about feeling that is was the date that was specific and not offering to treat otherwise.

Thanks to others for pointing out that some people give more and some take more. I am feeling like I do all the giving. Whenever we do something together it is something she wants to do. She is not available when its something I'm planning or initiating.

[Anonymous]

Your birthday has not even happened for her to acknowledge or not. She already had plans that day, maybe she's on a budget (thought she would need to treat). I would not worry about it.

[Anonymous]

If you are in your 30s and using BFF that might be the first problem.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, have you ever gone to a spa with another person? Unless you're getting tandem mani pedis, it's not really fun going with a friend. You're not going to see her anyways as you'll be getting services in separate rooms. Defeats the whole purpose of going together.

OP doesn't want to pay. She wants her friend to "treat" her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She loves spas and I know that money is not an issue. We have been together before and never treat each other. I'm sure that money is not an issue, but instead it is prioritizing time.

Thank you for the insight, PP, about feeling that is was the date that was specific and not offering to treat otherwise.

Thanks to others for pointing out that some people give more and some take more. I am feeling like I do all the giving. Whenever we do something together it is something she wants to do. She is not available when its something I'm planning or initiating.

I mean this nicely OP, but I don't think you are as good of friends as you think you are. Could be your attitude, could be her. Most likely a combination

[Anonymous]

Also, I am a very loyal friend and would (and have!) done many things for my inner circle and will keep many of their very sensitive secrets until my dying day. They can text me in the middle of the night and I would be there to bury the body with them. I would expect the same from my closest 3 girlfriends.

[Anonymous]

Also, I am a very loyal friend and would (and have!) done many things for my inner circle and will keep many of their very sensitive secrets until my dying day. They can text me in the middle of the night and I would be there to bury the body with them. I would expect the same from my closest 3 girlfriends.