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Infants, Toddlers, & Preschoolers
Extremely traumatized 2 year old in preschool- when do I say enough?
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Anonymous
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I'd pull her out. 2 is so young for preschool. I know in this area the norm is to start kids this young but looking back at my kids' (I have twins) 2 year old preschool year I wonder why I did it. At 3 they are getting SO, SO much more out of school than they did last year. At 2 it was 80-90% just a break for me rather than anything that they concretely benefited from.
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Anonymous
| Pull her. Cost-risk-benefit analysis is pretty clear here. Recommend that if you do take her out, go to school a few times with her a few weeks from now, have some playtime in the lobby and then go home, so she doesn't associate the school drop-off ritual with such trauma. I don't think this is a failure, I think you tried, and have successfully evaluated that she's too young...now you know. Bet she loves it next year! WORLD of difference b/w 2 and 3... |
Anonymous
| If she closer to just 2, pull her out. If she is closer to 2.5, wait a week. NO improvement. Pull her. She is really little. She has the rest of her life to be in school. You are the mom....an hour is awfully long to cry. |
Anonymous
| If you don't need the morning coverage for childcare then I would pull her and do some classes or even a co op situation where you are present. Some kids have no problems separating at 2 and really enjoy the interaction and others need more time. |
Anonymous
| OP here. Thank you for everyone's really thoughtful comments. I've pulled her. This morning, I was getting her ready for preschool (day 4) and she started shaking and crying (at just the thought of it - where before the crying didn't start until we arrived at the school). Her little spirit was so affected...she wasn't whining, she was traumatized. I looked at my husband and said "I can't do it." He agreed and is heroically taking care of her today while I am at work. We will figure out another arrangement. She is too little and this is too hard. I have a lifetime to "make" her do things she doesn't want to do. This is not that important. (It is inconvenient to keep her home, but worth it.) |
Anonymous
Good for you!! 
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Anonymous
OP- that must have been so hard for you to witness! My heart went out to you and your little girl when I read the part out her shaking. I am really glad you pulled her. Hang out there mom and dad! |
Anonymous
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OP,
It sure sounds like your instincts were right on. One suggestion, depending on your care needs - if you could find a nanny share with a young 2 it might strike a nice balance. Hugs to all of you, it's great that you are both on the same page about her needs. |
Anonymous
| OP you may want to consdier hiring a part time nanny or finding a family who needs only afternoon time to share. There are more families looking for 12-5 coverage than families looking for 9-12. A nanny is a good way to get her used to separating from you but in the familiar environment of her own home with her own things. You could then try preschool again next year. |
Anonymous
| I would give it two weeks. Children need an opportunity to get used to changes in their routine. I would also talk it up positively at home ("at pre-school with your friends" etc.). |
Anonymous
| OP, good for you!! My DD was in a similar situation and I did the same thing. They really are just babies at 2. I think it's great for the kids it works for, but if you have other options, why traumatize them? |
Anonymous
| Sounds like you made the right call-- I think preschool for 2 year olds is generally over-rated (disclaimer: the preceding sentence does not apply to the child of anyone except me and the OP so please disregard it otherwise). |
Anonymous
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She is just simply not ready for school. There is nothing wrong with pulling her out. She is two years old and does NOT need to be pushed to be more independent at this stage. In fact if you continue she may just get more and more clingy and have a hard time becoming truely independent.
If it was my 2 yr old. I would call the school and simply explain that she will not be returning. She'll most likely be ready by next year. Why push this experience on her if it will be tramatic and make her miserable? there is nothing to gain from that, except for a less happy child. |
Anonymous
| As a mother of a toddler, I almost cried when I read this... Especially your update about how stressed she got just thinking about it. I'm actually also a nanny who works in a nanny-share and I agree it would be a good idea for you to look into it. I even think the families I work for might be interested, as the babies take big naps. You can email me at taiahpremadasi@yahoo.com if you are interested. |
Anonymous
Good for you OP! you did the right thing! |