What have you learned after separation/divorce?

[Anonymous]

I echo many of the responses above. Thank you for answering the question.

In addition to the above, I have learned that family and friends help you through the hard times.

I have learned that it is okay to go a little crazy after the end of a marriage. Healing takes time, and it is okay to make mistakes. Be kind to yourself.

I have learned that there are many interesting people out there. I also have learned that there are some real weirdos out there, too.

I believe in the process of healing, learning, better myself for those in my life, including my children.

And, FYI, justbecause you are in your 40s doesn’t mean you need to be a judgemental tight ass. Have fun.

I have learned to trust and love again.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I learned that unless you work on yourself, you will wind up with the same problems the next time you meet someone

I learned how horribly I was emotionally abused by my wife

I learned my child would still love me after the marriage was over

I learned that although I am not a movie star, there are women out there who appreciate a man like me

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I learned that unless you work on yourself, you will wind up with the same problems the next time you meet someone

I learned how horribly I was emotionally abused by my wife

I learned my child would still love me after the marriage was over

I learned that although I am not a movie star, there are women out there who appreciate a man like me

+1

I am happy you are doing well.

[Anonymous]

Learned that life really does go on, and time heals all [love] wounds.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:That I never should have settled the first time around because it is possible to find the man of your dreams.

This is true for me too. I was shocked when my ex wanted to divorce, and was worried about leaving the stability of a marriage (though I was unhappy) for the single life. A good friend told me that the divorce was an opportunity --- an opportunity for me to get whatever I wanted. I wanted the man of my dreams, and we found each other.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My husband had a small penis.

Me too!!

Mine had a big one but he sucked in every other part of his existence.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My husband had a small penis.

Me too!!

Mine had a big one but he sucked in every other part of his existence.

My ears are burning!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That I never should have settled the first time around because it is possible to find the man of your dreams.

This is true for me too. I was shocked when my ex wanted to divorce, and was worried about leaving the stability of a marriage (though I was unhappy) for the single life. A good friend told me that the divorce was an opportunity --- an opportunity for me to get whatever I wanted. I wanted the man of my dreams, and we found each other.

I love this thread! You ladies give me hope. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.

[Anonymous]

I learned that I had time to pursue my own interests, even while caring for the remaining child at home, so long as I didn’t have to take care of a man child. Now that the youngest is in college, I really have time to take drawing and writing classes, and to find myself again.

I learned that I had to wear a fake wedding ring to keep the guys away while I find myself again.

I learned that I do want to be in a new relationship, eventually, but it always seems to be “in a few months” after I’ve done one more thing. I’m afraid of going back to cleaning up after ADHD XDH and dealing with his constant emotional problems and neediness (he’s the one who left, fwiw).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What have you learned about yourself, about dating, about potential loves since you have been separated/divorced?

I'm starting to learn that people like me as I am. It's okay to say what I mean without thinking about it five different ways to avoid offending or being annoying.

[Anonymous]

You don't need a partner to enjoy life. If you have your kids and are financially sound a partner can mess all that up. Why 2nd marriages fail at a larger rate.

Too many needy people out there.

[Anonymous]

I learned I was a jerk.
I learned I treated my ex badly.
I learned I didn’t appreciate what I had and not what I didn’t have.
I learned I hurt many people.
I learned I had a big ego.
I learned I didn’t care about anyone but myself.

I learned I still love her....

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I learned I was a jerk.
I learned I treated my ex badly.
I learned I didn’t appreciate what I had and not what I didn’t have.
I learned I hurt many people.
I learned I had a big ego.
I learned I didn’t care about anyone but myself.

I learned I still love her....

Sometimes I wish my ex wrote this after being with me. He told me he could find someone better than me, a younger and more beautiful version than me. What an ass.

Over the last couple of years, I have worked on bettering myself after a traumatic experience. I am still the same person as before, but just stronger. I also am a hell lot sexier and happier these days, and know that I am a survivor.

[Anonymous]

That my needs and wants are valid and can be met by someone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I learned I was a jerk.
I learned I treated my ex badly.
I learned I didn’t appreciate what I had and not what I didn’t have.
I learned I hurt many people.
I learned I had a big ego.
I learned I didn’t care about anyone but myself.

I learned I still love her....

Sometimes I wish my ex wrote this after being with me. He told me he could find someone better than me, a younger and more beautiful version than me. What an ass.

Over the last couple of years, I have worked on bettering myself after a traumatic experience. I am still the same person as before, but just stronger. I also am a hell lot sexier and happier these days, and know that I am a survivor. [/quote


.....that wasting time and oxygen over a ex is fruitless.