Weird phone call (with back story)

[Anonymous]

OP here. Yea, I was thinking the same thing. That if it continued I would call the office and ask for an explanation or for them to now allow it.
I guess I thought that having the dr suggest he call me seemed unethical or risky.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Yea, I was thinking the same thing. That if it continued I would call the office and ask for an explanation or for them to now allow it.
I guess I thought that having the dr suggest he call me seemed unethical or risky.

I posted at 10:12. If he calls from that number again, call back at a wildly different time, let the person you speak with know that you received a call from Patient Name and that you have repeatedly requested that Patient Name not contact you any longer. If he was not just borrowing the phone, he has almost certainly lied to his therapist about the nature of your relationship, and as a therapist, that's something that I would want to know (and also something I would probably not be all that surprised by, since there are almost certainly other red flags).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Yea, I was thinking the same thing. That if it continued I would call the office and ask for an explanation or for them to now allow it.
I guess I thought that having the dr suggest he call me seemed unethical or risky.

To *NOT allow it

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Yea, I was thinking the same thing. That if it continued I would call the office and ask for an explanation or for them to now allow it.
I guess I thought that having the dr suggest he call me seemed unethical or risky.

I posted at 10:12. If he calls from that number again, call back at a wildly different time, let the person you speak with know that you received a call from Patient Name and that you have repeatedly requested that Patient Name not contact you any longer. If he was not just borrowing the phone, he has almost certainly lied to his therapist about the nature of your relationship, and as a therapist, that's something that I would want to know (and also something I would probably not be all that surprised by, since there are almost certainly other red flags).

OP here. Thanks for your insight. As a therapist, can you tell me if that’s standard practice for a therapist to suggest him calling? Or is it most likely he just borrowed their phone?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Yea, I was thinking the same thing. That if it continued I would call the office and ask for an explanation or for them to now allow it.
I guess I thought that having the dr suggest he call me seemed unethical or risky.

I posted at 10:12. If he calls from that number again, call back at a wildly different time, let the person you speak with know that you received a call from Patient Name and that you have repeatedly requested that Patient Name not contact you any longer. If he was not just borrowing the phone, he has almost certainly lied to his therapist about the nature of your relationship, and as a therapist, that's something that I would want to know (and also something I would probably not be all that surprised by, since there are almost certainly other red flags).

OP here. Thanks for your insight. As a therapist, can you tell me if that’s standard practice for a therapist to suggest him calling? Or is it most likely he just borrowed their phone?

It would seem like a major breach of patient confidentiality for a therapist to recommend that their patient call from an office phone as a part of therapy knowing full well that the office name would appear in caller ID to the recipient.

Something is very off about this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Yea, I was thinking the same thing. That if it continued I would call the office and ask for an explanation or for them to now allow it.
I guess I thought that having the dr suggest he call me seemed unethical or risky.

I posted at 10:12. If he calls from that number again, call back at a wildly different time, let the person you speak with know that you received a call from Patient Name and that you have repeatedly requested that Patient Name not contact you any longer. If he was not just borrowing the phone, he has almost certainly lied to his therapist about the nature of your relationship, and as a therapist, that's something that I would want to know (and also something I would probably not be all that surprised by, since there are almost certainly other red flags).

OP here. Thanks for your insight. As a therapist, can you tell me if that’s standard practice for a therapist to suggest him calling? Or is it most likely he just borrowed their phone?

It's definitely not "standard practice." But I guess I could see a couple scenarios where it might happen. For example, if he had shared that you and he were trying to work things out but that the last time he contacted you, he'd intended to be civil and casual and had ended up crying and being over the top, I might help coach a conversation where he keeps his sh*t together, though frankly, I would personally use role play for that exercise rather than involving you. There are also certain therapy modalities that involve "homework" of putting skills used in therapy into practice in the client's real life, but I don't know that I'd allow him to use my office phone for those things.

I definitely think that if the therapist WAS aware that he was using the phone to call you, the therapist is not fully aware of the tenor of your relationship with him or his past behavior in it. I think it's more likely that he borrowed the phone, and I think it's entirely possible that he lied about why he borrowed it, because I cannot imagine a credible therapist allowing a client to make a personal call to a person who has blocked him in the past.

[Anonymous]

I don't know, but after a breakup, my ex called me on about the one-year mark. I told him I didn't want to talk.

A little over a year later, two weeks before my wedding, I got a letter from him saying everything I would have wanted to hear two years earlier, and suggesting that we try again. I felt vindicated, but just sent it back with a note saying I'd moved on, and he should, too.

BTW, we also had had an abortion, though many years before that break up.

[Anonymous]

Perfectly normal.

[Anonymous]

Block him and get a restraining order.

[Anonymous]

he is also trying to get around the fact that you have blocked him highly manipulative and worrisome.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Block him and get a restraining order.

OP here. I did block him in every way shape and form. I think a restraining order would have been in order if I hadn’t been stupid and entertained his initial phone call. I think there needs to be a ‘do not contact me again or I’m calling the police’ in writing or something at first but I could be wrong. I think if there’s more calls - whether another one from doctors office or from another number - that’s when I’ll give the the warning.

[Anonymous]

These days anyone can use a phone no.# of their choice to use as an outgoing no.#

So whatever phone no.# he wants, he can just use it.

Perhaps he just randomly used that no.# not knowing who the actual no.# it belonged to.

Regardless let him know in no uncertain terms that if he does not stop his attempts at communicating w/you, then you will get a restraining order on him where he can be sent to county jail just for calling or emailing you.

You likely will not have to get one.
Just use it as a reason to leave you alone once + for all.

[Anonymous]

I find it highly improbable that a therapist would be okay letting their patient use their phone line for a personal phone call, even if it was therapeutic.

Confidentiality laws might be violated.
Usually a therapist would ask the patient to bring in the other party vs. them receiving a phone call.

Liability too.
When if someone had a protective order on their patient, even unbeknownst to them they allowed their patient to make a phone call to that person.

That could get them in hot water.

[Anonymous]

Calling from an office doesn't mean he used the therapist's personal office phone. There could be a phone in reception or in the building he used to call you.

I highly doubt his therapist had him call you as part of therapy, and even more so since you said they specialize in personality disorders.

[Anonymous]

I cannot see a psychiatrist suggesting and then monitoring this phone call. Aren't they primarily concerned with prescribing meds? You may want to call the office and report what occurred, though.