If you suspected a very close friend of having feelings for your spouse...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Distance. Perhaps a lot!!
I’ve had a gal circling the waters for my DH and I beat her (politely) away with a stick and I’m not sorry at all.
No one is sorry. I hope that she has found more productive things to do with her time, but I don’t know - not my problem.

Seriously!! Not OP but found out an attractive single blond friend of a friend of my DH's buddy put the word out she liked my husband. WTF!

[Anonymous]

I don't see why people are so paranoid about being forthcoming about their thoughts/feelings. Better to get it out and sort it out than suffer in silence or drive yourself crazy with doubt/suspicion.

[Anonymous]

Just cut ties.

[Anonymous]

Op, what is your impression of the friend’s relationship with her husband? Does she talk about him in a positive way? Does she seem in love with her own husband? I would listen to my own intuition anyway and distance myself but that may be a clue.

Sometimes I worry that other women might think I am more interested or engaged in conversation with their husband. In group activities I find I tend to talk to the men because I am more interested in what they are talking about (work, money stuff, politics, home improvement) than the topics women in my circle seem to talk about in groups (shopping, cooking, hair). One on one I talk more to the women.

[Anonymous]

I feel like you should go ahead and slowly fade this woman out of your friend circle.

Even if she isn't into your husband, you clearly don't feel that she offers you the same level of emotional support that you would expect from any other friend. What kind of friend doesn't want to hang out one on one? Pass.

[Anonymous]

Keep the friendship as just you and and ger. If she’s not interested, then she’s not really a friend and let it fade out. Don’t talk to your husband about it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm dealing with this exact scenario right now. It's turning me into a paranoid crazy person. So exhausting

OP here, why do you feel this way? Any specifics or just a feeling. In my case I can't honestly say either has acted in an overtly inappropriate way. There is a legitimate reason for their interactions and I can see why they both get along, they have personalities that complement each other. I just have this feeling and I thought it for a while now. I thought maybe it would be a passing crush but I've been feeling it for a few months now which seems too long and my interactions with my friend are becoming more distant although I haven't changed how I am.

The feeling is because what they have is intimacy and that should be reserved for you.

I wrote above too. To clarify it’s not bad for unmarried peoplecto communicate or to have friendships but once it crosses the line to intimacy it is trouble.
My DH’s friend started to contact him several times a day, even when we were on vacation together and that’s when I flipped a lid and I’m not sorry.

Emails or calls once every few weeks - great. Several times a day? No. Lunch every six months? Cool. Lunch every week ? No.

what's the problem? married women seem to have absolutely no problem confiding in a BFF who is male, sharing intimate conversations that don't lead back to their spouse.

http://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/687210.page

what's good for one is just as good for the other, right? unless you will own to being completely hypocritical.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm dealing with this exact scenario right now. It's turning me into a paranoid crazy person. So exhausting

OP here, why do you feel this way? Any specifics or just a feeling. In my case I can't honestly say either has acted in an overtly inappropriate way. There is a legitimate reason for their interactions and I can see why they both get along, they have personalities that complement each other. I just have this feeling and I thought it for a while now. I thought maybe it would be a passing crush but I've been feeling it for a few months now which seems too long and my interactions with my friend are becoming more distant although I haven't changed how I am.

The feeling is because what they have is intimacy and that should be reserved for you.

I wrote above too. To clarify it’s not bad for unmarried peoplecto communicate or to have friendships but once it crosses the line to intimacy it is trouble.
My DH’s friend started to contact him several times a day, even when we were on vacation together and that’s when I flipped a lid and I’m not sorry.

Emails or calls once every few weeks - great. Several times a day? No. Lunch every six months? Cool. Lunch every week ? No.

what's the problem? married women seem to have absolutely no problem confiding in a BFF who is male, sharing intimate conversations that don't lead back to their spouse.

http://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/687210.page

what's good for one is just as good for the other, right? unless you will own to being completely hypocritical.

Um... did you read the thread you linked to? The majority of the responses said it's an EA. So, no hypocrites. .

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm dealing with this exact scenario right now. It's turning me into a paranoid crazy person. So exhausting

OP here, why do you feel this way? Any specifics or just a feeling. In my case I can't honestly say either has acted in an overtly inappropriate way. There is a legitimate reason for their interactions and I can see why they both get along, they have personalities that complement each other. I just have this feeling and I thought it for a while now. I thought maybe it would be a passing crush but I've been feeling it for a few months now which seems too long and my interactions with my friend are becoming more distant although I haven't changed how I am.

The feeling is because what they have is intimacy and that should be reserved for you.

I wrote above too. To clarify it’s not bad for unmarried peoplecto communicate or to have friendships but once it crosses the line to intimacy it is trouble.
My DH’s friend started to contact him several times a day, even when we were on vacation together and that’s when I flipped a lid and I’m not sorry.

Emails or calls once every few weeks - great. Several times a day? No. Lunch every six months? Cool. Lunch every week ? No.

what's the problem? married women seem to have absolutely no problem confiding in a BFF who is male, sharing intimate conversations that don't lead back to their spouse.

http://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/687210.page

what's good for one is just as good for the other, right? unless you will own to being completely hypocritical.

Um... did you read the thread you linked to? The majority of the responses said it's an EA. So, no hypocrites. .

NP - uh, there were quite a few women, in addition to the OP, who saw no problem with it, so yeah, hypocrites.

[Anonymous]

Op, this is a no brainer. Ditch the friend. She is not your friend.

I don't have a separate relationship with my friend's husbands.

[Anonymous]

I was in the same situation a few years ago. In our case it was the mother of my son's friend. She fast friended us and wanted us to go out together or go over to there house all the time. At first I thought she was being an over indulgent parent trying to lock in her son's friendship because they were new friends, but it became very obvious that she was more interested in my husband. There was also drinking involved and I could not help but notice the extra attention and flirting. What made it worse was my kids started to notice and we faded out pretty quickly. I can say that my husband did nothing to bring this on and did not flirt back or act inappropriate. She was buttery nice to me in the beginning but anytime I tried to get together with her without my husband, she had an excuse .

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op, what is your impression of the friend’s relationship with her husband? Does she talk about him in a positive way? Does she seem in love with her own husband? I would listen to my own intuition anyway and distance myself but that may be a clue.

Sometimes I worry that other women might think I am more interested or engaged in conversation with their husband. In group activities I find I tend to talk to the men because I am more interested in what they are talking about (work, money stuff, politics, home improvement) than the topics women in my circle seem to talk about in groups (shopping, cooking, hair). One on one I talk more to the women.

+1

[Anonymous]

Ditch that bitc*!

[Anonymous]

I couldn’t agree any more.

Trust that intuition of yours.

Rarely, if ever is it wrong.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I was in the same situation a few years ago. In our case it was the mother of my son's friend. She fast friended us and wanted us to go out together or go over to there house all the time. At first I thought she was being an over indulgent parent trying to lock in her son's friendship because they were new friends, but it became very obvious that she was more interested in my husband. There was also drinking involved and I could not help but notice the extra attention and flirting. What made it worse was my kids started to notice and we faded out pretty quickly. I can say that my husband did nothing to bring this on and did not flirt back or act inappropriate. She was buttery nice to me in the beginning but anytime I tried to get together with her without my husband, she had an excuse .

How did you refrain from smacking her?