Just met the Special Ed Teacher - need some calming words

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:NP here. A friend's son, who has no delays and is attending Georgetown Day, is 5 and still not potty trained. Just depends on the kid, I think. I feel you though--it's already nerve-wracking enough to be starting a new program, and then you get the stink-eye from the teacher--that sucks!

Georgetown Day knew this and still enrolled him? I find this hard to believe, unless there is a SN.

[Anonymous]

I second the recommendation to call Bridges PCS (http://bridgespcs.org/index.php?page=about). If you are outside of DC you'd have to pay tuition, but it's still lower than most private pre-schools' tuition. (It's free if you are in DC).

Nobody will bat an eye whether your SN or non-SN child isn't potty-trained, and it will be so much easier for your child to learn when surrounded by other kids who learning too. It's a wonderful mix of kids with and without special needs. The ones with special needs get the benefit of therapy and services offered right in the school - either in pull-outs or in the classroom, plus developmentally appropriate models as friends and classmates. The ones without special needs get the benefit of small class sizes and lots of great OT toys (which are good for ALL young children - not just those with identified special needs).

[Anonymous]

OP here - thought you might be interested in an update. Back to school night was on Tuesday. There are 7 kids in the class and DS is the youngest. The next closest in age is 10 months older. Of the 7 kids, there were diapers in 4 of their cubbies that we could see. DS is not the only kid who isn't potty trained. I swear I wasn't imagining her reaction when I told her DS wasn't potty trained.

Now get this, we were discussing DS's speech problems. His receptive skills are age appropriate but not his expressive language. There are some sort of issues going on because he can make the entire range of sounds, he's just challenged to do it voluntarily. We've had a year of private therapy and he's still only got about 15 words that a stranger would understand. "Vitamin" sounds like "Bollywood" - "Stop there" sounds like "Doctor". Even I can't tell the difference between "SpongeBob" and "Backpack" and I have to go by context or just guess which he means. We've got appointments for further evaluations but it's not the run of the mill problems with R's and S's. She thinks he's going to outgrow it. Makes me think she doesn't believe he should be in the special ed preschool. I asked if he'd tantrumed while in her class. He hasn't. Just wait. We've done a lot of work with him to help him with regulation issues but it shouldn't be too long before she really gets it. I can't wait.

[Anonymous]

OP,
I'd really keep pushing for the morning class. It sounds like she is not going to be much more help to your or your son than some random stranger, not the special ed expertise that you and he deserve. I'd call weekly. I'm betting that the younger children, his peers, are inn the morning class due to afternoon naps. I'd be glad that he has kept it together, I've seen some Special Ed teachers in way over their heads do some pretty harsh/cruel things to retaliate when children "choose" to misbehave. I'd seriously worry about her plans for potty training him, I'd guess that gentle and working together probably don't describe it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here - thought you might be interested in an update. Back to school night was on Tuesday. There are 7 kids in the class and DS is the youngest. The next closest in age is 10 months older. Of the 7 kids, there were diapers in 4 of their cubbies that we could see. DS is not the only kid who isn't potty trained. I swear I wasn't imagining her reaction when I told her DS wasn't potty trained.

Now get this, we were discussing DS's speech problems. His receptive skills are age appropriate but not his expressive language. There are some sort of issues going on because he can make the entire range of sounds, he's just challenged to do it voluntarily. We've had a year of private therapy and he's still only got about 15 words that a stranger would understand. "Vitamin" sounds like "Bollywood" - "Stop there" sounds like "Doctor". Even I can't tell the difference between "SpongeBob" and "Backpack" and I have to go by context or just guess which he means. We've got appointments for further evaluations but it's not the run of the mill problems with R's and S's. She thinks he's going to outgrow it. Makes me think she doesn't believe he should be in the special ed preschool. I asked if he'd tantrumed while in her class. He hasn't. Just wait. We've done a lot of work with him to help him with regulation issues but it shouldn't be too long before she really gets it. I can't wait.

Sorry OP, this sounds like a really bad situation for your little guy. Can you swing the tuition to get him into a better environment? Even if he switches to mornings, he'll still be with the same staff in the same school with the same philosophy...

Good luck.

[Anonymous]

OP,
It all sounds really stressful. The change in your tone from wanting a partnership to saying "I can't wait!" untl my child tantrums is striking. I saw this in another thread (possible openings at Bridges Public Charter School with a tuition option for those not in DC) and thought it might be worth a call for you if either you or your spouse work in DC. I have heard many good things about the school and only wish we had gotten in when my DD was younger.
http://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/69293.page

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here - thought you might be interested in an update. Back to school night was on Tuesday. There are 7 kids in the class and DS is the youngest. The next closest in age is 10 months older. Of the 7 kids, there were diapers in 4 of their cubbies that we could see. DS is not the only kid who isn't potty trained. I swear I wasn't imagining her reaction when I told her DS wasn't potty trained.

Now get this, we were discussing DS's speech problems. His receptive skills are age appropriate but not his expressive language. There are some sort of issues going on because he can make the entire range of sounds, he's just challenged to do it voluntarily. We've had a year of private therapy and he's still only got about 15 words that a stranger would understand. "Vitamin" sounds like "Bollywood" - "Stop there" sounds like "Doctor". Even I can't tell the difference between "SpongeBob" and "Backpack" and I have to go by context or just guess which he means. We've got appointments for further evaluations but it's not the run of the mill problems with R's and S's. She thinks he's going to outgrow it. Makes me think she doesn't believe he should be in the special ed preschool. I asked if he'd tantrumed while in her class. He hasn't. Just wait. We've done a lot of work with him to help him with regulation issues but it shouldn't be too long before she really gets it. I can't wait.

You lost me with those 3 little words. If that was sort of a sarcastic sense of resignation, then I guess I can understand. But I can't tell if you're actually looking to be in opposition with the teacher/school instead of in partnership. I hope I'm misreading you.

[Anonymous]

Hey, OP --

Right now, they think he won't do something like tantrum -- and you're waiting for the bad to prove the bad exists ... but ya know what? Soon they'll think he won't do something like find the classroom all on his own and hang up his backpack like he's supposed to -- and you'll have to be telling them to stand back and chill out, because he can *do* it.

It's awesome when the kid proves them wrong in a *good* way that you just knew he was capable of all along.

Alas, lots of sucky stuff first, but you'll get there.