When did you start having Christmas in your own home?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The year we got married. Had to start right away or we'd be setting a precedent that would cause hard feelings when broken.

Same! Although being in a remote part of Montana made it so much easier. "It's just so expensive to fly for the holidays, and it'll require at least two, but probably three, flights each way. And, oh, sometimes there's just so much snow and we get snowed in. The mountain passes don't get cleared quickly. I think it's best we wait until May to visit!"

[Anonymous]

Never. We flee the country for Thanksgiving and Christmas. Mexico for Thanksgiving, Europe for Christmas. We're not big into the holidays.

[Anonymous]

After my oldest had his third Christmas.

[Anonymous]

After our second child was born.

[Anonymous]

WHen my oldest started to anticipate Santa. So 2 and a half.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Stayed home once I had kids.

I want my kids to remember Christmas morning in their family home.

4 hours is a short enough drive that you can leave early afternoon and have Christmas dinner with the extended family and have Christmas morning at your house. That’s what I did growing up.

That sounds miserable. So kids get a quickie Christmas morning and then pack into the car for a long drive? Sounds like a great way to have them associate Christmas with a long and boring car ride. One of the best parts of Christmas is just hanging out and relaxing. Can't imagine subjecting my kids to that.

[Anonymous]

Never. DH was raised Catholic, I’m Jewish. I love his parents’ Norman Rockwell Xmas and would/could never do that at our home. So we go to them always.

[Anonymous]

I'm 32 with one year olds and we still go to my grandparents house in another state and will do so until they pass away. The though of not going there anymore makes me so sad! Won't be the same at our house.

[Anonymous]

When we had our daughter. We invited everyone to come to us which they did. We have had to make more changes due to more family members having kids and parents getting older, but we have managed.

[Anonymous]

We still go to my parents', as do my siblings. You know that Jim Gaffigan bit about how to kids, cousins are like celebrities? That's true for my kids.

It's weird, because I grew up having Christmas at home, not with the grandparents, and my mother always assumed that once her kids had kids, we'd stop coming home. It just never happened.

I do make sure that my husband gets breaks from my family. When you're an adult, your ILs are definitely NOT like celebrities.

[Anonymous]

Married 18 years, tween kids, and still drive to see family 4 hours away every year. It's our"normal". Kids love to spend time with cousins, and we like to visit with family. NBD.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
I escaped my smothering mother and jumped across the Atlantic. So while this was not specifically targeted for the Holidays, it works out well for that too. My husband's parents are also 8 hours away by plane, so we're good.

My smother mother only lives 30 minutes away so we were constantly pressured to do both houses. I never enjoyed it - it was very selfish of her as she was never driving us kids to her parents house when we were kids. The whole family would call and pressure us even on Christmas Day. The thing is is that the other family's with kids involved are too lazy to do their own home Christmas so it's like there's 3 mothers yelling at me at once.

OP I would tell DH that you are open to doing Christmas Eve at the parents (during the day, not at night) but that you want to be home for Christmas.
Kids can open presents and have a special brunch and then go home for Christmas. Put your foot down now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We don't. Both my DH and I enjoy seeing our families, and our SD enjoys Christmas morning with her cousins.

+1

I grew up travelling to Grandma's house for Christmas.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Married 18 years, tween kids, and still drive to see family 4 hours away every year. It's our"normal". Kids love to spend time with cousins, and we like to visit with family. NBD.

But when your kids get married and the grandparents are gone you won't have one single holiday tradition at your house to fall back on. Your kids won't have anywhere to go for Christmas and won't come to your house. This happened to me.

[Anonymous]

Only when I had just given birth or was close to giving birth. Our mothers live far away, and we don't get to see them that often, One of the kids' grandmothers lives a 6.5 hour drive from us. The other one lives an 8-hour drive from us. We alternate which one we see at Christmas. Both DH and I have close friends from childhood living near our mothers that we enjoy seeing. DH also has other family in the area. We have the flexibility due to school being out and lighter work schedules to travel at this time without my using limited vacation days. (DH gets more vacation than I do.)

There have been years I've resented it, especially when visiting my ILs because I don't like the way they celebrate Christmas. (Nothing objectively "bad" about it, just not what I like.) But I want my kids to have a good relationship with their grandparents. And when I look at other options for visiting these relatives, I end up coming back to this being the best option.