I never really have felt like my husband loves me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So why did you marry him? Why did you have kids with someone who doesn’t love you?

Not the OP, but she probably didn't feel this way when she married him and set about to have kids with him.

Kids can change everything.

Yes, I didn't feel this way when we got married.

I notice you didn’t answer why you had kids with him.

As I said things were different I guess? Who knows, but can’t turn back time.

I think you are lying. I think deep down you simply wanted kids so badly that you settled for the first guy you could have them with, because it seemed like an easier choice than looking for a better match and starting a new relationship. Now, here you are, unfulfilled and realizing that children can’t and shouldn’t fill every emotional need.

Aside from divorcing, it’s too late for you to fix, but you can be a lesson to other women.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So why did you marry him? Why did you have kids with someone who doesn’t love you?

Not the OP, but she probably didn't feel this way when she married him and set about to have kids with him.

Kids can change everything.

Yes, I didn't feel this way when we got married.

I notice you didn’t answer why you had kids with him.

As I said things were different I guess? Who knows, but can’t turn back time.

I think you are lying. I think deep down you simply wanted kids so badly that you settled for the first guy you could have them with, because it seemed like an easier choice than looking for a better match and starting a new relationship. Now, here you are, unfulfilled and realizing that children can’t and shouldn’t fill every emotional need.

Aside from divorcing, it’s too late for you to fix, but you can be a lesson to other women.

That was such a shitty thing to say. I feel sorry for you. Anyone that nasty is hurting.

[Anonymous]

My DH is like this. Never asks me about my day, never asks me anything. He has refused counseling and is just not a talkative person. Women feel connected through conversation. I've started getting my conversation needs met elsewhere, in appropriate ways. It still doesn't solve the lack of feeling connected though.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So why did you marry him? Why did you have kids with someone who doesn’t love you?

Not the OP, but she probably didn't feel this way when she married him and set about to have kids with him.

Kids can change everything.

Yes, I didn't feel this way when we got married.

I notice you didn’t answer why you had kids with him.

As I said things were different I guess? Who knows, but can’t turn back time.

I think you are lying. I think deep down you simply wanted kids so badly that you settled for the first guy you could have them with, because it seemed like an easier choice than looking for a better match and starting a new relationship. Now, here you are, unfulfilled and realizing that children can’t and shouldn’t fill every emotional need.

Aside from divorcing, it’s too late for you to fix, but you can be a lesson to other women.

It’s a little aggressive to say I’m lying. I thought my husband and I were in love, wanted the same things, shared values etc. so yes, we got married and had kids. I dated a fair amount so it’s not as if I felt like I had to settle. And my husband is a good guy. It’s just hard to come to terms with the fact that I don’t think he loves me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So why did you marry him? Why did you have kids with someone who doesn’t love you?

Not the OP, but she probably didn't feel this way when she married him and set about to have kids with him.

Kids can change everything.

Yes, I didn't feel this way when we got married.

I notice you didn’t answer why you had kids with him.

As I said things were different I guess? Who knows, but can’t turn back time.

I think you are lying. I think deep down you simply wanted kids so badly that you settled for the first guy you could have them with, because it seemed like an easier choice than looking for a better match and starting a new relationship. Now, here you are, unfulfilled and realizing that children can’t and shouldn’t fill every emotional need.

Aside from divorcing, it’s too late for you to fix, but you can be a lesson to other women.

It’s a little aggressive to say I’m lying. I thought my husband and I were in love, wanted the same things, shared values etc. so yes, we got married and had kids. I dated a fair amount so it’s not as if I felt like I had to settle. And my husband is a good guy. It’s just hard to come to terms with the fact that I don’t think he loves me.

You sound immature and self absorbed. Why do you have so much free time to wallow about this?
You're not answering questions about what you need from him and it doesn't seem like you are working on your marriage. Maybe what you need is more of your own 'life'.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So why did you marry him? Why did you have kids with someone who doesn’t love you?

Not the OP, but she probably didn't feel this way when she married him and set about to have kids with him.

Kids can change everything.

Yes, I didn't feel this way when we got married.

I notice you didn’t answer why you had kids with him.

As I said things were different I guess? Who knows, but can’t turn back time.

I think you are lying. I think deep down you simply wanted kids so badly that you settled for the first guy you could have them with, because it seemed like an easier choice than looking for a better match and starting a new relationship. Now, here you are, unfulfilled and realizing that children can’t and shouldn’t fill every emotional need.

Aside from divorcing, it’s too late for you to fix, but you can be a lesson to other women.

It’s a little aggressive to say I’m lying. I thought my husband and I were in love, wanted the same things, shared values etc. so yes, we got married and had kids. I dated a fair amount so it’s not as if I felt like I had to settle. And my husband is a good guy. It’s just hard to come to terms with the fact that I don’t think he loves me.

You sound immature and self absorbed. Why do you have so much free time to wallow about this?
You're not answering questions about what you need from him and it doesn't seem like you are working on your marriage. Maybe what you need is more of your own 'life'.

You’re the “Lying” poster aren’t you? Seriously, what is your problem??

[Anonymous]

Ignore the asshole PP, OP.

This sounds hard. I think you need to both develop your own interests so you don't feel so lonely all the time, but also schedule regular date nights with your DH. Like, babysitter, go out to a restaurant kinds of things, not just a plan to watch TV together. That's probably the best chance for you to reconnect.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So why did you marry him? Why did you have kids with someone who doesn’t love you?

Not the OP, but she probably didn't feel this way when she married him and set about to have kids with him.

Kids can change everything.

Yes, I didn't feel this way when we got married.

I notice you didn’t answer why you had kids with him.

As I said things were different I guess? Who knows, but can’t turn back time.

I think you are lying. I think deep down you simply wanted kids so badly that you settled for the first guy you could have them with, because it seemed like an easier choice than looking for a better match and starting a new relationship. Now, here you are, unfulfilled and realizing that children can’t and shouldn’t fill every emotional need.

Aside from divorcing, it’s too late for you to fix, but you can be a lesson to other women.

It’s a little aggressive to say I’m lying. I thought my husband and I were in love, wanted the same things, shared values etc. so yes, we got married and had kids. I dated a fair amount so it’s not as if I felt like I had to settle. And my husband is a good guy. It’s just hard to come to terms with the fact that I don’t think he loves me.

You sound immature and self absorbed. Why do you have so much free time to wallow about this?
You're not answering questions about what you need from him and it doesn't seem like you are working on your marriage. Maybe what you need is more of your own 'life'.

You’re the “Lying” poster aren’t you? Seriously, what is your problem??

No, I am not that poster. She isn't doing any work - here or in her marriage. She's just wallowing and feeling sorry for herself. It's weird and useless.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So why did you marry him? Why did you have kids with someone who doesn’t love you?

Not the OP, but she probably didn't feel this way when she married him and set about to have kids with him.

Kids can change everything.

Yes, I didn't feel this way when we got married.

I notice you didn’t answer why you had kids with him.

As I said things were different I guess? Who knows, but can’t turn back time.

I think you are lying. I think deep down you simply wanted kids so badly that you settled for the first guy you could have them with, because it seemed like an easier choice than looking for a better match and starting a new relationship. Now, here you are, unfulfilled and realizing that children can’t and shouldn’t fill every emotional need.

Aside from divorcing, it’s too late for you to fix, but you can be a lesson to other women.

It’s a little aggressive to say I’m lying. I thought my husband and I were in love, wanted the same things, shared values etc. so yes, we got married and had kids. I dated a fair amount so it’s not as if I felt like I had to settle. And my husband is a good guy. It’s just hard to come to terms with the fact that I don’t think he loves me.

You sound immature and self absorbed. Why do you have so much free time to wallow about this?
You're not answering questions about what you need from him and it doesn't seem like you are working on your marriage. Maybe what you need is more of your own 'life'.

You’re the “Lying” poster aren’t you? Seriously, what is your problem??

No, I am not that poster. She isn't doing any work - here or in her marriage. She's just wallowing and feeling sorry for herself. It's weird and useless.

Wow you really lack empathy, don’t you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So why did you marry him? Why did you have kids with someone who doesn’t love you?

Not the OP, but she probably didn't feel this way when she married him and set about to have kids with him.

Kids can change everything.

Yes, I didn't feel this way when we got married.

I notice you didn’t answer why you had kids with him.

As I said things were different I guess? Who knows, but can’t turn back time.

I think you are lying. I think deep down you simply wanted kids so badly that you settled for the first guy you could have them with, because it seemed like an easier choice than looking for a better match and starting a new relationship. Now, here you are, unfulfilled and realizing that children can’t and shouldn’t fill every emotional need.

Aside from divorcing, it’s too late for you to fix, but you can be a lesson to other women.

It’s a little aggressive to say I’m lying. I thought my husband and I were in love, wanted the same things, shared values etc. so yes, we got married and had kids. I dated a fair amount so it’s not as if I felt like I had to settle. And my husband is a good guy. It’s just hard to come to terms with the fact that I don’t think he loves me.

You sound immature and self absorbed. Why do you have so much free time to wallow about this?
You're not answering questions about what you need from him and it doesn't seem like you are working on your marriage. Maybe what you need is more of your own 'life'.

You’re the “Lying” poster aren’t you? Seriously, what is your problem??

No, I am not that poster. She isn't doing any work - here or in her marriage. She's just wallowing and feeling sorry for herself. It's weird and useless.

Wow you really lack empathy, don’t you?

She isn’t doing “any work here” ?? What does that mean??? Or in her marriage? Sounded to me like work to stay together with this kind of undercurrent and she forgave a nearly cheating husband , tolerates his golfing a lot and if he travels a lot as she says then I imagine she’s putting a lot of work into the kids and family

[Anonymous]

I hate all these posters saying, "just do more work", "go to counseling".....FEELING loved and being in love are not things that you manufacture in a lab! Those feelings are developed through attention that is exchanged between two human beings with emotions. When a partner ignores you, or takes no interest in your emotional well being, its almost impossible to feel anything more than a surface level of "like". OP, I am so sorry. I was living in your situation for a very long time. I never felt like my husband really loved me. He said he did, but I never FELT it. There was a huge disconnect and it made me feel dead inside. I tried very hard to find outside interests and to fill the void with other appropriate friendships. It got to a point where I felt soulless and I needed to leave. We BOTH deserved to find more and without leaving I knew that chance could never happen for either of us. It has now been 2 years since I left and we are both much happier. All I can say is that I do understand and I hope you figure out what you need to do. I understand staying or leaving. These things are not black and white. Hugs!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So why did you marry him? Why did you have kids with someone who doesn’t love you?

Not the OP, but she probably didn't feel this way when she married him and set about to have kids with him.

Kids can change everything.

Yes, I didn't feel this way when we got married.

I notice you didn’t answer why you had kids with him.

As I said things were different I guess? Who knows, but can’t turn back time.

I think you are lying. I think deep down you simply wanted kids so badly that you settled for the first guy you could have them with, because it seemed like an easier choice than looking for a better match and starting a new relationship. Now, here you are, unfulfilled and realizing that children can’t and shouldn’t fill every emotional need.

Aside from divorcing, it’s too late for you to fix, but you can be a lesson to other women.

It’s a little aggressive to say I’m lying. I thought my husband and I were in love, wanted the same things, shared values etc. so yes, we got married and had kids. I dated a fair amount so it’s not as if I felt like I had to settle. And my husband is a good guy. It’s just hard to come to terms with the fact that I don’t think he loves me.

You sound immature and self absorbed. Why do you have so much free time to wallow about this?
You're not answering questions about what you need from him and it doesn't seem like you are working on your marriage. Maybe what you need is more of your own 'life'.

You’re the “Lying” poster aren’t you? Seriously, what is your problem??

No, two different posters.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I hate all these posters saying, "just do more work", "go to counseling".....FEELING loved and being in love are not things that you manufacture in a lab! Those feelings are developed through attention that is exchanged between two human beings with emotions. When a partner ignores you, or takes no interest in your emotional well being, its almost impossible to feel anything more than a surface level of "like". OP, I am so sorry. I was living in your situation for a very long time. I never felt like my husband really loved me. He said he did, but I never FELT it. There was a huge disconnect and it made me feel dead inside. I tried very hard to find outside interests and to fill the void with other appropriate friendships. It got to a point where I felt soulless and I needed to leave. We BOTH deserved to find more and without leaving I knew that chance could never happen for either of us. It has now been 2 years since I left and we are both much happier. All I can say is that I do understand and I hope you figure out what you need to do. I understand staying or leaving. These things are not black and white. Hugs!

NP. Out of curiosity, have you met someone else/found love?

I'm just curious. I think the reason a lot of people are telling OP to cultivate her own interests is because even if she leaves her husband, she may not find what she is looking for.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't really know what to do with this feeling, he of course says he does, it's not like I ask him all the time or anything. It's just a feeling. He never asks me about me, or my day, or really anything having to do with me. We've never, since kids, had an amazing sex life kind of 1x a week at most. Several years ago he has a "near affair" where I believe him that nothing happened but it was close to something happening. We did marriage counseling and eventually I got over that. He does travel a ton. This is sort of rambling. He's a good guy, but he spends a lot of non work time golfing. He says he needs it, and I agree to some degree, for his stress level. I guess I just feel unloved and ignored. I have tried in the past to work on making things better, but when you fundamentally feel unloved, it's kind of hard to put in the effort. I do love him, but again hard to access those feelings sometimes.

Lesbian.

find a compatible partner instead of wasting your husband's life

[Anonymous]

Seems your spouse is now too comfortable in the marriage and is not putting in the required effort to keep it high on his priority list.

Maybe he even takes you for granted per se.

You sound like excellent candidates for marriage therapy.
If he won’t go, I strongly suggest you go alone.

You shouldn’t have to live your life feeling that you are unloved by your own husband.

Hugs to you.
Hope things get better soon!